What makes someone likable?

There’s a cafe in Brooklyn that I always go to.

They often mess up my order. I get drip coffee when I order an espresso, and I get ordinary milk when I ask for my hipster almond milk.

Still, I go there anyway. Why?

Because I like the people working there.

They are nice without being fake. They are interested without being needy. They are likable.

To me, that cafe is a metaphor for the rest of life:

When we’re likable, we attract people. People want to be with us and help us. Everything in life gets easier and more fun when everyone’s on your side.

What’s their secret?

  1. They’re casual and natural when we talk so that I feel relaxed around them.
  2. They don’t put on their “professional fake face” but act like I’m a good old friend.
  3. They remember what I was up to last time and ask me a few words about that.
  4. If they notice that I’m not talkative, they’re good at picking up on that instantly and give me space.

To sum it up, all of this makes me feel like they care about me on a personal level. They built a connection with me. That’s what makes me keep coming back.

Obviously, connecting with people is about more than those four bullets. But what I think is cool is that it’s a skill you can learn.

Check out what I wrote about likability over here if you’re interested in learning more.

Do you have any favorite cafés or restaurants? What makes you come back there?

Let me know in the comments!

David Morin is the founder of SocialPro. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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