If you are shy or don’t have much experience socializing with strangers, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable around other people. When you feel this way, it may make it harder for you to attend social functions because going to them makes you feel anxious. Here are some steps you can take to gain more confidence when spending time with friends.
First, you should locate the source of your discomfort. Frankly, I didn’t enjoy the process of going to events where large groups of people were and for a while, I made excuses to miss these larger gatherings. However, it was when I went back and discovered the source of my discomfort that I was able to work through it and become more socialized. In my case, kids picked on me when I was little and I allowed their insults to form what I thought of myself. However, what I learned is that when you allow others’ words to control your self-esteem, you give them all the power. It was only when I realized that I had good qualities and that I do offer value to others that I had the confidence needed to meet other people. Your problems could be similar to mine, or it could just be that you have had bad social experiences in the past. With this in mind, it’s important to focus on your positive traits because you have them, and when you focus solely on the good you can offer others, it gives you the confidence you need.
Along with developing more positive self-esteem, gaining social experience is a good way for you to build confidence.
The key here is for you to start small. Know what makes you uncomfortable from the beginning, and use small steps to build your confidence. For example, if large crowds scare you, start building experience in small groups first. Find a friend that you feel comfortable spending time with, and when ready, have them introduce you to one of their other friends. By starting small, it can make the process less stressful for you and gives you the opportunity to connect with others in an environment where you feel more comfortable. When you connect with others, build on that confidence by taking advantage of more social opportunities.
As you gain more confidence, allow your personality to shine through to others. This is what will attract people to you and help you build meaningful friendships. This may sound difficult or impossible for you to do now, but when you gain a level of comfort with others it becomes natural. That’s why it’s important for you to emphasize spending more time with people, because the more you do it the easier it becomes. When you gain that confidence, you will find it easier to feel comfortable with both friends and strangers.
Meanwhile, if you become anxious during a gathering, ask to take a break, go some place quiet and take a few deep breaths. Furthermore, if you find an experience to be too overwhelming, it’s okay to leave. In fact, it’s okay for you to make mistakes. When you do make mistakes, focus on the what caused them, learn from it and move on. Don’t allow those mistakes to rattle your confidence. It’s important that you be patient with yourself. This can be a difficult process, but take it from me it is worth it.
To recap, by finding the source of your insecurity it can help you begin to build positive self-esteem by redirecting your focus to your good traits. Then, you can build confidence by spending time with friends. By building on that momentum, you will feel more comfortable in different social situations, which will give you the confidence needed to bond with others.