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How do you know if a guy likes you?
My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve been working as a dating coach for over 8 years helping both men and women understand the signs we give when we like someone.
Here are the 43 best signs to help you tell if a guy has a crush on you or not.
1. Does he ever stare at you?
You probably know how hard it is to NOT look at someone you like. Prolonged eye contact without talking is a big tell that a guy likes you.
But to be fair, it’s common that guys stare at any girl they find attractive. And it’s an easy way for him to show his interest without having to approach you. But who knows, he might even have a secret crush on you?
2. Is he mirroring you?
Mirroring means that his body language, posture, or even what he’s saying reflects what you said or did.
Examples of mirroring:
- When you take a sip of your glass, he also takes a sip of his glass
- When you cross your legs, he crosses his legs
- When you get very animated/passionate in a conversation, he also gets animated
- When you lean in, he also leans in
- When you laugh, he laughs
Note that mirroring is done subconsciously when he has a good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if he really wants to impress you or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.
3. Has he added you on social media (like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, or WhatsApp) after you met?
Adding you on social media means that he wants to keep contact with you and might be a bit interested in you. This is also good because now you can more easily start a conversation with him online.
4. How long are his texts or messages compared to yours?
If his texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.
If he usually gives short answers compared to you, that’s a bad sign. When you’re giving him long replies, but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager.
In that case, it’s good to step back a bit and try to match him better.
5. Is he teasing you?
Most forms of teasing (even mean teasing) are usually a sign he’s interested in you. It means he’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that he wants a reaction from you.
Have fun with it and don’t be afraid to tease him back! 😉
6. Is he doing the “lean in”?
If he’s leaning in toward you, that shows he wants to get closer to you (or he’s really passionate about what he’s saying). When a guy has a crush on you, it can feel like he’s magnetically drawn to you.
7. Is he getting “too close” to you compared to what is normal?
If you’re in a conversation and you feel like he’s edging closer to you, or as if he’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. He may be attracted to you and wants to feel closer to you both physically and mentally.
Note that different cultures have different “personal spaces”. So, if he’s from a different culture than you, see how close he gets to others to see if it’s just you or everyone.
8. Has he ever offered you a massage?
This is one of the more obvious tells that a guy likes you. Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a guy to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer him one back if you like him!)
9. Is he smiling toward you?
If he’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach him. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home.)
If he’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign he likes you. Especially if he has a light smile while you’re not even joking.
10. Is he giving you mixed signals?
Mixed signals are really tricky to interpret and can make anyone confused. But in most cases, they do mean he’s interested in you. Here are the most common reasons why he’s giving you mixed and confusing signals.
9 Reasons why he’s giving you mixed signals:
- He doesn’t want to come off as too eager
- He’s shy
- He’s nervous and insecure
- He’s afraid of seeming desperate
- He’s afraid you’ll reject him
- He’s inexperienced in flirting
- He’s following some weird rules or pick-up tips he’s read
- He’s just flirting with you (because flirting is all about giving mixed signals)
- He likes the attention or validation he gets from you but isn’t really interested in you
If you need help, explain your situation in as much detail as possible in the comments. I’ll reply to well-written comments and help you interpret the signs.
11. Does he give you any compliments?
Getting a compliment from a guy in your age is a good sign. If he’s giving you compliments about how pretty you are, it’s an even better sign.
It can be hard to tell a friendly compliment from a romantic one because they can sound exactly the same. To know for sure, look for other signs he’s also giving you or describe your situation in the comments below.
12. How large are his pupils when you two are talking?
If his pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.
13. Is he holding eye contact with you for “too long”?
When a guy has a crush on you, it can be so hard for him to keep his eyes off of you. You can notice this if he’s holding eye contact with you slightly too long.
It can almost feel a little weird or intense when it happens. And that’s great (if you like him).
14. Is he giving you a slight smile when you get eye contact?
If you’re standing in a group, and when someone else is talking, you two get eye contact. Does he give you a slight smile?
Same thing if you get eye contact at a distance, in a park, or at a bar. A smile is an invitation to start talking. He’s interested!
15. If there’s background music, what’s his body language and what is he looking at?
This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example at a bar or a club.
If he’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign he’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you he wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.
16. Does he straighten his posture when he is close to you?
Is he straightening his back and standing up more straight? It means he’s a bit self-conscious when hanging out near you and he wants to make a good impression.
Not that strong of a sign because most single guys want to make a good impression on attractive girls. But if you see it together with many other signs, it means more.
17. What direction is he facing in group situations?
If he’s facing you more often than he’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign he’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not the one talking the most in the group.
18. Where are his feet pointing?
If his feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if his body is facing you. He’s subconsciously focused on you which makes his feet point toward you.
19. Is he fiddling with or straightening his clothes or accessories?
This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because he wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.
20. What direction are his palms facing?
If the palms of his hands are pointed in your direction that signals he might be interested in you. It’s a small sign, but it’s still positive because it’s part of an open and welcoming body language he has toward you.
21. If you touch him, does he touch you back?
For example, if you touch his arm, does he touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If he does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign.
If he’s shy or inexperienced, he might not feel comfortable touching you back even if he has a crush on you.
22. Is he extra touchy with you?
A good tell he likes you is if he’s touching you unusually much compared to others.
Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if he touches those.
23. Do you ever have “peripheral physical contact”?
Peripheral physical contact is when some part of your bodies are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.
Example: If you’re both sitting down and your thighs are barely touching each other. Or if you’re walking side by side and he grabs hold of your arm.
This kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of suspense and attraction. It’s the best feeling being close to someone you got a crush on.
24. Is he giving you more of his attention than he’s giving others?
The more attention he gives you, the more interested he usually is in you. Compare this to how much attention he gives to other girls also hanging out with him or in the same group as you.
Example: If you’re in a group but he seems to direct most of his attention toward you. It could be that he’s asking you lots of questions or that he’s laughing more than others at your jokes. Or just listening more intently to you.
25. Does he ever blush when you talk or get eye-contact?
He might just be shy, but he’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because he likes you. This makes him blush around you.
Social anxiety can also cause blushing. But it’s still a great sign.
26. Does he seem to look in your direction from far away?
Guys can be a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with his eyes. And if he has sunglasses it’s even harder to know if he’s checking you out.
So if he’s looking in your direction, especially if he does it several times, he’s probably checking you out.
27. Does he keep the conversation going when you stop talking?
What happens when there’s a pause in the conversation or if you stop talking? If he seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If he lets the conversation die out or excuses himself, he may not be that interested (unless he’s just shy).
28. How quickly does he reply when you text or message him?
A quick reply is a good sign he likes you. Also, if he replies with several texts to your one text, that’s even better.
However, if he likes you, he may also delay his replies to avoid seeming needy or desperate. But as long as he replies, it’s all good. If he’s slow to reply, it could just mean he’s busy or he doesn’t like texting, so don’t read too much into it.
29. Who texts or calls first?
Is he the one initiating contact or are you? If he is, that probably means he’s interested in you.
But if he never calls or texts first, that’s a sign of lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if he will take initiative. If you’re always so quick to take initiative, he might never even have a chance to do it first.
30. How often does he text you?
Compare this to how often you text him. He’s eager if he’s texting more often than you, and you’re more eager if you’re the one texting more often. If he’s sending you several texts in a row without a reply it’s a stronger sign.
31. Does he stammer, stutter, or become awkward in a conversation with you?
This could mean that he feels shy or self-conscious around you. When a guy likes you, it’s common that he gets a bit extra awkward or stutters when talking to you. That’s because he gets uncomfortable and doesn’t want to mess up in front of you. It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?
32. Does he back off if you get a bit too close?
If he doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to his personal space, that’s a sign he wants you close to him.
If you take a step closer, and he backs off by a step, that’s a sign he’s a bit more reserved toward you.
33. Does he ever talk about things he wants to do with you?
Planning or mentioning things he wants to do with you in the future is a very strong indication of some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.
Example: If you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant and they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”
34. How does he react when you discover you have something in common?
If he’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, like that you live in the same part of town, that you’re the same age, or that you both like pizza.
Example: You discover that you both grew up in the same city and he gets really excited about it even if it’s no big deal.
35. Is he asking you any personal questions?
If he is, that’s telling you that he wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more he asks, the better.
Example: Asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or your favorite food.
36. Has he asked you about your plans for the day or the weekend?
This might just be empty small talk, but it could also be him trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if he brings it up near the end of the conversation.
37. Is he trying to make you jealous?
This is a strong sign he’s interested in you. But it’s also a sign he’s emotionally immature and manipulative. I would avoid someone acting like that. You deserve to be treated with respect.
38. Has he told his family about you?
This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I think it’s worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if he’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.
If he’s told his family, it means he is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!
- Is he staying to talk with you even though his friends have left?
This is a big tell. If you’re in some sort of group conversation with him and his friends, and all his friends leave but he stays – he’s probably into you. Still might not be romantic interest if you just have a great conversation and have lots in common.
An example could be when you’re at a party, and all his friends leave to get a bite to eat, but he stays with you.
40. How can you tell if a coworker likes you?
At work, It can be hard to tell if a coworker is flirting with you or just being friendly. Usually, guys play it safer at work because he doesn’t want to create any awkward situations if he would be rejected. So, he might be probing to see if you like him before he gives you any clear signs of interest.
6 ways to tell if a coworker likes you:
- He comes over to talk with you as often as possible
- He often teases you
- It seems likes he’s flirting, but you’re not really sure
- He tries to hang out near you when possible
- He tries to be funny when he’s near you
- He’s eager to do any work tasks where you work together
- He goes above and beyond to help you out at work
- He gets weird or stiff when he’s near you, but he’s normal with everyone else
I think this is super interesting, so if you have a work-related situation, write it down in the comments. I will 100% give you a reply and help you interpret the signs.
41. How do you know if your best friend likes you?
Here are 7 signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend:
- Is he acting differently from how he usually behaves?
- Does he seem jealous or dismissive of other guys you might like?
- Is he suddenly extra touchy-feely?
- Is he unusually interested in your interests?
- Has his behavior toward you changed recently?
- Does he seem extra needy?
- Has he told you he has feelings for you?
If you’re still unsure, let me know about your situation in the comments below and I’ll do my best to help.
42. How do you know for sure if a guy friend is interested?
You can’t really know for sure if a cute guy is interested just based off of a sign in this list. But there are a few rules you can use to help you know:
- Is he regularly showing you signs of interest?
- Does he act differently to others than to you? (So he’s not just flirty with everyone.)
- Has he shown any particularly strong signs of interest?
- Can you see any patterns in his behavior toward you?
43. Are you still unsure if he likes you?
Write down your situation in the comments below in as much detail as possible. I’ll answer the most interesting comments to help tell if the guy likes you or if he’s just being friendly/flirty/mean. I’m also hoping that you can help someone else by replying to their comment – that way everyone gets something.