7 thoughts on “Confident eye contact – How much is too much and how do you keep it?”

  1. Thank you, I feel as though a hugh mistory has been solved. Now I have somthing concret to work on. This has always eluded me. How to make positive eye contact. I my past experiences, I either stare people down and intimdate them, or in group situations I never knew where to look.

  2. hi,

    I don’t know how common this is but I discovered at about the age of 30 that I rarely if ever looked at people in the eyes when I spoke with them most especially other males and superiors for instance my immediate boss or managers.

    somewhere about this age,I read an article about eye contact and its importance and that’s when I became aware that I wasn’t doing it.

    rather than help me this awareness made the situation far worse as I then became very self-conscious of it and tried to force myself to do it. forcing it made it worse. it would be very obvious and very awkward or I would try to lock my eyes on the person and probably contorting my face while I was doing it which would result in the same thing or worse.

    I literally think some people couldn’t stand talking to me anymore because they didn’t know how to deal with the situation and neither did I. downward spirals of awkwardness often occured. i started avoiding interactions.

    it’s been with me for many years and I develop some coping mechanisms but still no magic bullet. good days n bad days. the worst thing is some people clearly know that I had this problem and avoid talking to me I’m sure it’s awkward for them and it’s painful for me when this happens.

    one thing I did realize 3 years of thinking about this, I never made eye contact with my father generally because he was not a loving father he was generally unhappy and annoyed and just yelled at us as kids. it wasn’t that he was abusive but there was never any eye contact with him it was always trying to avoid him and stay below the radar. there certainly wasn’t any looking to Dad’s eyes and feel the warmth love and support the kids would want. found out how much that has to do with it but it certainly got to be a factor.

    this article will be helpful in any other suggestions you have
    with regards to this particular set of circumstances would be appreciated and may be helpful to your readers.


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