How to Double Your Social Confidence in 5 Minutes

Here’s how we were able to measure Fanny’s confidence levels (Opens in new window)
References: Zou JB, Hudson JL, Rapee RM: The effect of attentional focus, Logier et al: Comparison of pulse rate variability and heart rate variability…

If you liked this video, you’ll love the videos I’m about to send you:

  1. How to avoid awkward silence and conversations hitting a wall
  2. How to get past the small talk and actually start bonding
  3. Why conversations die out and what to do about it
  4. Why people stop keeping in touch after a while and what to do about it
  5. How to stay in touch with someone you’ve just met in a natural way (and how to meet up again without forcing it)


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Comments (119)

  1. Akumaru

    Nice video, I was able to learn something new today. Thank you.

  2. Gillian

    This is the best training. Have actually picked a lot.

  3. aaron kinder

    i feel like this is gonna help a lot. thank you so much!!

  4. Diamond Nichole Francoi

    I’m a little younger than the audience this is targeted towards and being in middle school is hard enough. I recently started my first year at my new school and what’s so hard is that the kids there are…how do I say…just more outgoing and more of a ‘pose for snapchat/trendsetters’ while I and my old friends are more of a weird, quirky type.
    This is especially hard because my crush is part of these people. They all just say things and people laugh. And I can’t be funny because all my jokes were for people of my, I guess, a metaphorical ‘social class’ not the actual social class though. I’m very timid and I want to find a way to stand out more. I don’t want to say awkward things that make them say “that’s not funny” or stare at me. They are troublemakers and don’t care about grades type, while I don’t aspire to be the ‘don’t care about school type’, I want to attract people to me. Usually making conversation ends in awkward silence, because I can’t find anything else to talk about.
    I need to be more charismatic and charming I think, if you could help, that’d be great.

  5. Eugenie

    love the way it is coached.

    • David Morin

      Thank you Eugenie!

  6. Anonymous

    Very good. I think it will help me

  7. Rafa Rivas

    Great video. I want more. Is there any book with exercises?

    • David Morin

      We’re writing one right now! If you’re on our mailing list, I’ll let you know when it’s ready.

  8. Bryant

    More please

  9. Anonymous

    Informative video. Please send additional videos.

    • David Morin

      Glad you liked it!

  10. Anonymous

    I will try it tomorrow in school, thanks!

  11. Anton Watson

    Brilliant!!! Please send me more!!

  12. Hafiz Suliman

    Awesome video help me how to achieve a conversation I’m looking at!

  13. Anonymous

    That was very educative and captivating I never knew there were tactics on socializing😂😂

  14. taskeen

    good send me more plzzz

  15. Fiz

    really informative, I hope it works when i will try it.

  16. Vashisth

    A Very helpful video and will try the OFC method imediately.thank you david

  17. Anonymous

    pretty interesting, and easy to apply with out overtaxing my brain. very simplistic!. I can’t wait to learn more.

  18. Anonymous

    Thanks for sharing… I’m curious, though… do family personalities/traits have anything to do with our ability to communicate? How about personal issues… like personality disorders… can they have any bearing on a person’s ability to communicate? And if so, do you think your videos will have breakthrough results in these areas?

  19. Anonymous

    Everyone says that i am very quite and shy.I am only talkative to close friends and family. Please help me to become a smart and talkative person

  20. Anonymous

    Helpful, will give it a shot!

  21. Therese

    Thanks for the useful advice. I’m going to try testing this out

  22. Eldad

    That is Nice.
    It give an chance to have a good communication with people.
    I am looking forward for the next video.

  23. Anonymous

    What about eye contact?

  24. Jenny

    I’m really exited for the next videos because I’m such an over thinker. I always think about what the other person thinks of me instead of actually listening to them. This alone has been a huge help!

  25. Sonia

    Thanks, very inspiring!

  26. Linda

    Very interesting & useful! Thanks David, look forward to seeing more

  27. SK

    I do believe these are going to help me a lot coz I’m kinda the one who just keeps on listening or observe making it the only monologue. Oh! the awkward silences are real buggers too.
    Please do upload new videos quickly!! Can’t wait to learn and change myself.

  28. Rae

    this gives me a whole new perspective on socializing, will give it a shot!

  29. Ozan

    Wouldn’t it be better if she met with different strangers in every stage of this study?

    • David Morin

      Great question! We discussed doing that, but then her nervosity would slowly decrease over time simply because she got used to talking to strangers, ie habituation. We would then need several test participants. We argued that since the method has already been proven in a study, it’s enough to illustrate it with one person.

      Here’s the study:

  30. Anonymous

    Kinda skeptical of how it will work but I’ll give it a shot

    • David Morin

      No problem, I can see why it seems too easy to be true. But this is actually a skill you can practice and it’s not always that easy, but it’s very effective once you can do it automatically. Let me know how it goes!

  31. Anonymous

    add more video plz

  32. Anonymous

    Great video, will start with OFC and look forward to the rest of the videos.

  33. nathalie

    Thank you! My therapist gave me a exercise to focus on the other person instead of myself and my anxiety, but I didn’t know how to do it. These are some great tools! Thanks

  34. Christopher

    I thank you so much!
    With all love Christopher

  35. Martina

    Thanks you for the vid, i find it very intresting and helpful!

    • David Morin

      Good to hear, thank you Martina!

  36. Anonymous

    Thank you . Video was great… I will try OFC for sure

    • David Morin

      Let me know how it goes. I’m happy to give you some pointers if you want it.

  37. Debbie

    How can this be used to help a teenager (15) who gets very anxious and avoids going somewhere or trying out for sports when they don’t know other teenagers?

    Thank you,

    • David Morin


      Try showing her the video and see what she thinks!


  38. Amber

    I struggle with anxiety a severe case when I’m in a big room or area with strangers my heart beat speeds up and my hands start to sweat and I get real stiff what kind I do to get rid of that?

    • Noah B

      You cannot “get rid of” anxiety. Your body’s response will change over time as you try to be social and learn that it’s not unsafe (your body’s reason for having anxiety). You gain more confidence and the anxiety just lessens over time. If you never challenge anxiety (by facing what makes you anxious) it won’t go away by itself.

    • Biju

      According to my observation, this happens because your focus gets divided among so many people. Instead focus on one face at a time, and keep moving through many faces in the crowd, it’s important to look at faces close to you and further from you, left right and center. When you focus on these faces marvel at the wonder of nature and how varied these faces are, this is to bring a small smile to your stare.
      This is the same as OFC, it’s ok to be nervous in a large gathering, focus on faces, be curious about those faces.

      • Riki Brown

        My friend.

    • Riki Brown

      🐝 yourself.

      • edward

        i am really hasving problem sociaslizing. what should i do?

  39. Anonymous

    great analysis, im working on it,

    thanks bro

    • David Morin

      Glad you liked it!

      • Anonymous

        Loved it…OFC. Will use it♥️

  40. Anonymous

    Hi. I find it hard to keep a conversation going when I get nothing back from the other person. Any tips?

    • David Morin

      That’s a tough one, if you get nothing back, it’s almost impossible because that means they don’t want to talk (or they are really nervous/stiff/shy).

      The question is why you don’t get anything back? Is it because you don’t show interest in them and only talk about what you find interesting? Is it a new person or someone you know from before? I’d start looking at the reasons why you get nothing back and trying to experiment with different approaches there. Like showing more interest in others, asking more follow-up questions, and see if that changes something.

    • Biju

      Learn to read body language instead, be curious about body language. For example is the other person’s feet facing straight towards you or pointing away from you. The person you are talking to can sometimes choose to remain silent but they are sure unable to hide body language signs. If the feet are pointing towards you then there is interest but the person is too nervous to talk to you. Try to talk about something non personal at this juncture in order to open a conversation. If the feet are pointing away from you, then they are not interested in a talk. The reason is not always you, it might be that they had a bad day at work. Thinking it’s always about you is being self centered.

  41. Anonymous

    Thank u David

    • David Morin

      Thanks for watching! 🙂

  42. zadock

    Great video, hope this will help me because am just socially shy and I find it hard to talk to strangers. Am eager to watch more and ready to practice.

    • Riki Brown

      I think you’re interesting.

  43. Yosef

    This is amazing !
    thank you so much for doing this, i`m really excited to see whats comming next

  44. Hayder Abdulmajeed

    Great video! Excited to see the rest

    • David Morin

      Glad you liked it! I think you’ll like the rest 🙂

  45. Kreepa

    Awesome video! Thank you.

    • David Morin


  46. Anonymous

    Freakin amazing. And for free, it’s almost like a dream.

    • Riki Brown

      Dreams come true. Just believe in yourself.

  47. Shyneka

    I agree fantastic film clip
    Good Coaching will do it everytime..

    • Riki Brown

      You have what I call wisdom.

  48. Phyllis

    I am looking for suggestions how to help adult daughter who is hyper talker.
    It is hard to be around her because she talks so fast ; I want to say stop and breathe!
    Thank you for any suggestions.

    • Riki Brown

      Let her be when she needs to be. Maybe ask her to use her words more carefully. You might find that it’s poetry in motion.

  49. Lenzy

    Please can you help me to be a better communicator with my wife after being put down and receiving what may be considered unhealthy criticism for 5yrs .

    • Riki Brown

      Open your eyes to her. See her for what she could be.

  50. Anonymous

    It all make sense can you Help me to communicate with my wife and build heathy borders to prevent being talked down to .

  51. Anonymous

    I was sent this video by my wife. I received a lot of great insight to a few things to work on like eye contact and confidence. As I said i suffer at communication due ito a lack of confidence. And being talked down to like a child when a parent constantly tells them they will never be anything.

  52. Anonymous

    What do you when you don’t what to talk about

    • Anonymous

      First of all I’m participating in this because I love my wife and out of pure respect for her feelings am I willing to try it. So with that said here we go.

    • Riki Brown

      Say anything.

  53. Nekka

    This makes absolute sense. Just allow the body to do what it wants and accept it really helps me. Thank you! I will practice and apply.

  54. Judy

    Nice and thank you. It is a start

    • Anonymous

      I have no quams with admitting I’m wrong because I can’t know it all . I admit that I have room for improvement so if she thinks it will help I’m willing to try it with my whole heart. My communication skill suck. Due to some things such as a put downs and a few others. A once social butterfly has went back into the cacoon can you help me now that you’ve been more informed of my situation?

      • Riki Brown

        Patience is a virtue. Never stop improving yourself. I prefer meditation myself.

  55. Jose

    I will try it on a person at work that I am attracted to every time o see her my heart rise and my mouth stops.

  56. Amy

    I know that I am confident, but I tend to second-guess myself and get anxious, especially when conversating with people I’m not too familiar with, while also speaking at a fast pace (bad habit I have around anyone). I want more awareness of myself in a conversation(in general; like dos and don’ts) while also increasing my focus on the other person in a curious way. Thank you for these videos!

    • David Morin

      Good goals Amy, I see you have already thought about this topic quite a bit already which is great. Being aware and acknowledging our problems is always the first step. 🙂

      • Anonymous

        I too will work on my goals and have confidence in my decisions. Regardless of what others think. I will build heathy borders and not shut down.

    • Dan

      Same story here! Sometimes I’m really confident, positive and assertive; other times I feel myself quite fragile and couldn’t handle even a conversation with the colleague I know..

      Great video! The first one of about 50 articles I have read on the topic so far.

      Thank you & looking forward for the next ones

  57. K

    I have the same problem. It feels like whenever i want to meet someone it is more forced. I also have problem with small talk and don’t know how to get through it. Awkward silences are also something that happen a lot 🙁

  58. Anonymous

    This is great. I’m wondering how it applies to those conversations with people that aren’t total strangers but you also don’t feel comfortable with. I find I have difficulty being in my own head less with strangers and more with people I’m “supposed to” know well or be able to keep conversation with.

    • Anonymous

      Same thing with my teenage daughter! I am hoping to help her to be more comfortable with her classmates. She can connect better with people she just met than those she has known for years.

  59. Anonymous

    Wow it’s a awesome video,I guess I need to practice. Thanks for sharing with us.

    • David Morin

      Glad you enjoyed it! Let me know how it goes!

      • Stephen

        Am 61 years old, trying to relate to people in their 20’-50’ age group. It a one week event every year. Everyone seems to know each other. Having trouble trying to fit in.

        • Biju

          First of all it’s good hanging out with young people. If this time you don’t get too much acceptance by the tribe, it’s just a sign you need to do this more often. I know a 96 year old lawyer who teaches just to stay connected to young people. Find avenues where you can connect with young. Go to a local couchsurfing weekly meeting, if there is none try starting one in your town or city. Be the organizer lend your experience to help young connect.

  60. Kelly

    It helped me in a little way but please do send more videos to me
    Thank you so much

    • Anonymous

      Yes please you have some great ideas

  61. Anonymous

    thank you.

  62. Kaviz

    Thanks!!It is really helpful. OFC

  63. Anonymous

    Pls more videos

    • David Morin

      Working on it! 🙂

  64. Bumba

    Hope this helps me out! It’s hard but it’s worth it.

    • David Morin

      It gets easier with more practise 🙂 Keep going!

  65. Anonymous

    good video! I just thing that the concept of self image and subjective priority regarding what one considers as good characteristics about oneself are big factors as well. e.g i meet a new person and i think that I am a very attractive person and at the same time i think that my good looks help a lot in making people like me and that helps me feel comfortable in such a situation i will feel confident with regards to my looks, but in another situation say i think looks make people like me but i don’t think of myself as an attractive person then i will not be confident. a solution in this case will be to change my perspective to thinking that my looks do not matter and what i say matters more, then regardless of my looks i will feel comfortable that is if i am a confident speaker.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks a lot as a somewhat average looking person this helped me be more confident when making conversations with people.

  66. Michele

    What a gift, thank you for your work and for sharing.

  67. Nina

    This makes so much sense. Thank You!!!!!!

  68. Anonymous

    It works. By just staying curious with what the other person is saying, i sometimes found myself really interested in our topic.
    It’s very nice, thank you.

    • Anonymous

      Great video