How to Double Your Confidence in 5 Minutes with the OFC-method

Learn more about how we did the experiment here.

Here’s what I’ll send you in my coming emails:

  1. How to avoid awkward silence and conversations hitting a wall
  2. How to get past the small talk and actually start bonding
  3. Why conversations die out and what to do about it
  4. Why people stop keeping in touch after a while and what to do about it
  5. How to stay in touch with someone you’ve just met in a natural way (and how to meet up again without forcing it)

//David

281 thoughts on “How to Double Your Confidence in 5 Minutes with the OFC-method”

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  1. Whoa dude. That makes a lot more sense. Instead of being self-conscious being curious almost instantly reduces anxiety. Thanks man

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  2. when I was in first grade I got transferred to a place really far from the place a had a lot of friends. we all were friends for 5 years but when I got into the new place it was not a place with good people. They all were really bad people so I dint got a chance to make any new friends but there the bad things hit me. I really lost my touch with making and talking to friends, which resulted in me getting all alone in the home, and slowly my school friends also left me. and in-home no one was interested to talk to me so this made my mind think all at different degrees in the situations. I am a whole new person now kinda person who can’t make friends and ever can get liked and never talk to someone because I have no topics, first I thought after making some bad friends that who needs friends they are there to trait you and nothing else but to keep my mind away I saw some movies based on good friends like kissing booth (i know the name is a bit off target but it is based on a good friendship) then I saw stranger things and now I miss my friends because I don’t have any I need then to be around but how can I even tell somebody I don’t even have a single friend or I don’t even think I have anybody to whom I can trust and tell things going on that’s the reason I am here hope it will help to make good and trustworthy friends who will never leave me again!!

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    • Just want to say one thing. You are not alone with this. It’s mind blowing, how I am in the same situation =\

      Hopefully, this project will help us.

      Reply
  3. Yeah it is a very important point i miss in my social conversation
    but when i talked to my already existed friends they take it for granted that i m a silent person and i will not change and they kind of are in the practice of small talks with me so the question is what should be my approach??

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  4. I think it is kind of helpful. I will use it for sure when i meet someone who i ‘m afraid to meet in any social situation. I am extremely shy person and i hate it basically why it happens to me.

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  5. I really liked the video! I actually went to my notes and made a plan with this method, and I am going to try it at some point in time.

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  6. Yes! I can’t wait to see all the emails! Especially number five. I have a hard time getting people to talk to me, then again I am very quiet, but when I do try to talk to someone I come off awkward, and knowing how I can get into a nice conversation without forcing it would be nice.

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  7. So I want someone who is an expert to tell me something….here is the thing i have always been so active and fun and nice and outgoing when it comes to being with my family i would care about my flaws or my insecurities and I feel so supported and loved by them growing up they have provided me with everything financially and emotionally am so connected and happy being around them but the moment I stepped out of my house I lose myself I become this shy and quiet girl at school I see people having fun and making friends but am sitting there like I wish I was like that I dont know what triggered this but I think it’s just me overthinking.o dont what ccan help me

    Reply
    • Id like to try and respond. Full disclosure though. Im not a mental health expert. I am however an expert on overthinking. It would seem like that is a big part of it. And generally overthinking naturally leads to social anxiety. So i would recommend you try to control that.
      All we can really do most of the time is try to be friendly and receptive to others. Dont put up with people who make you unhappy or uncomfortable. But everyone else deserves a chance. A minority of the people you meet may end up being a close friend for many years. And dont feel bad when not everyone likes you. Its inevitable and doesnt reflect badly on you.or them most of the time. It shouldnt demotivate you from being a kind and open person.
      My only other suggestion is to practice starting conversations if you dont have friends at school. But most importantly dont worry. When i left school i went from having dozens of “friends” to living i a new city where i knew no one. In the 8 years since ive made 3 real friends. It was worth the wait.
      And from what youve told of yourself i reckon you seem the type who has quality friendships rather than a high quantity of acquaintances. Just be patient. And dont worry!

      Reply
  8. Hi David, I am Amena from India and your email really helped me alot. It was about the exact problem which I am facing these day .
    Thank you so much!!

    Reply
  9. Hi David how long is gonna take me if I start to practice with my family I mean my younger brothers are better than me in conversation and influence friends

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  10. This method will help me when showing new people around at work (we get visitors quite frequently), so thank you!

    What does the ‘OFC’ bit stand for?

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  11. Thanks, my problem actually is with age mates. i am a student in a university but i cannot make friends, i make new friends daily because i fear remaining in a relationship where people will get to know my real self, besides, i feel i dont fit in the company of the friends i choose because kind of i don’t measure up to their status. help me to feel accepted and welcome among groups of people.

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    • I was in your situation when I was in college. I didn’t have emtional or financial support. I began to really concentrate on my grades. By the end of the semester I was invited into s study group wherein I sort of became the leader. Not only did my own grades go up but, I was invited to social events. I still felt separated (because School and books kept me broke) but at least other students knew my name and wanted to join whatever study group I was involved with. I still miss school but an awful lot of people (at least) refer to me as being smart . It’s a step forward at least to overcoming my own inferiority complex.

      Reply

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