Estuardo’s Journey From Loneliness to Deep, Meaningful Relationships
Estuardo always struggled with low self-esteem. Now he’s confident enough to find the friendships that he truly wants
Estuardo was very shy. It was difficult for him to make true friends; relationships with people he cares about who also care about him too.
Now, he has the confidence and skills he needs to make these connections.
How would you describe yourself in a few sentences?
I’m very intelligent and like to learn a lot. I’m passionate about the whole personal development area, specifically coaching and NLP which I’m currently studying in a local NLP school. I want to have a sense of belonging but somehow it’s been so difficult to find a group where I can have that feeling.
Estuardo tells us about some of his social challenges
I was always needy. But thanks to my reading habits I found self-help books that led me to the personal development field. So I started to learn about myself, my type of personality, my values as an individual and how knowing myself better is the foundation for any good relationships.
“I’ve gained a lot of confidence as a result of reading your free material sent by email”
I’ve taken around 3-5 quizzes, can’t recall exactly how many, but I’ve paid for quizzes like the Keirsey temperament sorter to know and appreciate myself better. To learn in which environments I would work better and under what conditions I’ll naturally flow in achieving my goals.
I’ve also had problems with motivation. I wasn’t motivated to interact with people because I got depressed. 🙁
By reading and learning about cognitive distortions and limiting beliefs I was able to change the ones that were hindering me in becoming a social person.
In what ways have you improved so far?
I’ve gained a lot of confidence as a result of reading your free material sent by email, which is what I really want, to have confidence in -ANY – social situation and be able to dominate this particular area of my life.
One of your emails that contained one video precisely about cues when initiating conversation within a group was fascinating for me.
Estuardo’s new skills
- Confidence. Knowing that I’m capable of handling my feelings especially the negative ones which at some point were a huge barrier for me to establish good relationships with others.
- Peace of mind. Knowing that I have myself and the belief that if I’m true to myself.
- Hope. Hope about finding my path and be helpful to others in some way.
What it was like making friends – now and then
Before I would get all anxious when being in the cafeteria with no one to talk to. I would stay terrified about the silence and feel all bad because i “didn’t make” any friends.
Now in the same situation, I don’t panic. I make a comment: Something about the person, clothes, accessories, etc. And upon their response, I then go on speaking more about them until I create some rapport.
What advice would you give to someone who’s just starting off?
Become an avid reader and do whatever is within your reach in order to find your true passion and calling and then never stop believing that is possible to find your path and make your dreams come true. 😉
What do you like the most about your social life today?
The hope and confidence that I’m expanding myself by getting to know my contacts and knowing that I can make a difference in people’s lives just by connecting with them and sharing what I am.
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