David Morin

This Guy is Proof You Don't Need an "Interesting Life Story" To Be Interesting

I know a guy who’s not the traditional social type… at all.

He doesn’t care much about his looks or what others think of him.

He isn’t even that interested in making new friends. He just wants to relax and hang out with his girlfriend and close social circle.

Still, people seem to gravitate towards him.

As an example, he ran into a well-known TV-comedian a few weeks ago here in Sweden. Guess what happens? The comedian wants to meet up again and soon they’re hanging out.

He shows how you don’t have to be like everyone else to have a great social life.

So, how does he pull this off? As I’ve known him for many years, I’ve seen first hand what he’s doing:

1. He never tries to make people like him

When he meets people, he isn’t looking for their approval. He never brags about his accomplishments, unless someone asks. He lets the other person talk and shows a genuine interest in people he meets.

2. He acts like he’s known the person for years

You know the nervous conversation two strangers have when they’ve just met? They have a constant nervous smile on their face and go up in tone by the end of each question.

– Do you come here often?

– Yes sometimes. And you?

– Yes sometimes me too.

(awkward silence)

– Lovely weather, isn’t it?

He’s the opposite of that. He talks about what’s on his mind with the same comfort as if he spoke to someone he’s known for years.

3. He nurtures his interests

You probably wonder where he meets all these people. He’s involved in things he’s interested in. If there’s no group for his interest, he starts one. Throughout his life, he’s been involved in everything from political groups to stand-up comedy workshops.

He’s a living example that you don’t have to turn into someone you’re not, compromising who you are, or being shallow.

What it ACTUALLY takes to become an interesting person

I often hear people say:

“I’m not an interesting person. I don’t have a cool or representable life story. How do I make my life seem more interesting?”

You know what? Your life story isn’t the important part when it comes to being interesting.

One of the things people like about my friend is that he’s as far from self-centered that you can be. People find him incredibly interesting. Not because he talks about how interesting he is, but because he always finds things to talk about that also interests others.

  1. He knows how to scout for similar interests
  2. Then, he talks about those interests with the person and asks follow-up questions
  3. If he’s experienced something he knows is interesting to the person he talks to, THEN he shares it

What makes you truly interesting isn’t the life you live.

What you need is an interest in people.

That interest in people will help you discover what you have in common with people.

When you’re good at finding commonalities, THAT’S when people say “It’s so interesting to talk to you!”

What are 3 things you are looking for in a friend? 3 commonalities that make you like someone. When you know what you’re looking for, it’s much easier to find it.

Head over to the comments below to see what others have written, and share what you are looking for!  

Comments (18)

  1. alli

    I think just the feeling that you can say whatever and be completely yourself around the person is a great quality. If I find that we have things we’re both interested in that’s another great quality as well!

  2. Shyneka

    Thank you
    David for creating this Social Pro space so we can chat to you and each other I’ve been away for a while I know.. but I do like that we can express ourselves, decuss topics and learn together.

  3. Anonymous

    Hi David, thank you for the story that helps you understand others. In big ways, I’m such kind and take me as I am, and others as they are. But it is not always easy for people to understand and accept that one does not strive for anyone to like me, but to stick to their interests, but does not require others to agree. I do not matter if you can see the interior of others. But I have a feeling if I start conversation for relaxed, not in the style of “hello” or “today we have nice weather” but start talking to people like I am known long ago that others perceive it as being not normal , especially here in Sweden. Then you get a bit confused and question what is normal.

  4. Jaimie

    As I am reading these articles and watching your videos (which are fantastic by the way!), I find myself thinking that, even if I do apply these principles to my social life, I will still struggle big time. This is because I actually don’t know what I think about things, or what I value and why. I have been such a people pleaser for so long, terrified of rejection, that I lost myself in it all. Most of my thought life is consumed by my anxiety and my obsession with how I have a to “fix” myself. My question is do you have any advice on how to relearn who I am and learn to express myself in these ways?
    -jaimie

  5. The 3 qualities I look for in a friend would be 1) a good listener, 2) sense of humor, and 3) makes me feel supported and accepted. Come to think of it, those are the qualities I should be myself to others. After all, to have a friend is to be a friend, as the saying goes.

  6. Kyle

    If someone enjoys sports, new technologies (self driving cars, Tesla) and has a genuine curiosity to improve I am all ears. Thank you for content it is very helpful!

  7. Rocky

    I would like to share a story with you. I challenged myself when I was 19 and spent six months in Brazil, with a language I didn’t speak. And guess what I learned?

    The body language tells you a lot more about a person than what words the person is using. So, here are my tips for making contact and getting engagement:
    – Get out of your own shell/world and focus on the other person
    – Make eye contact and use a calm and relaxed body language
    – Open arms/shoulders towards the person you are speaking to (no crossed arms)
    – Make sure the other person feels like a priority when you speak to them

    When kids haven’t seen their best friend for a while – they don’t speak – they make a body posture and the other kid is making the same posture. After this, everything is back to normal again, like as they never have been apart.

    • Viktor Sander

      Awesome Rocky, I like your mindset!

  8. Mia

    I’m looking for someone who 1. will talk openly about complicated philosophical issues, 2. has a sense of humor about life, and 3. reads a lot and has a lot of knowledge, so that we have lots of things we can talk about.

  9. Linus

    i am in sales
    for the ‘PROTO’ – sales part, so to say, i need to begin with good conversation
    BUT
    on FB i am having a more charity centred mission
    i would love to chat with those feeling blue to make them feel better
    But they just clam up
    i guess when i felt blue i too did not like to talk on those topics that made me feel worse
    i guess You know, as social scientists, the solution to disarming those feeling blue
    Please in my lifetime i need to get this achievement as it is central to my FB mission
    On LinkedIn i target sales
    But here i have almost no problems conversing with prospects
    As a lover of math problems, incl: Fermat’s 3rd theorem, i would like to reach the more DIFFICULT goal.

  10. Anonymous

    Someone who is brilliant, funny and smart.

    • David Morin

      Good ones!

  11. Anonymous

    Your words and what you say really help a lot. I like the positive feedback, thank you, means a lot. I like reading your messages their very inspiring and excellent. I do believe it’s good to find an interest in people that have something common with that person .

    • David Morin

      Thanks!

  12. Gabriella

    If someone either likes the same tv-shows as me, cats or cooking I’m pretty sure we will come along great 🙂 I will try your technique to look for this more in the future. I’m enjoying your emails a lot so far, I love improving and learning this way!

    • David Morin

      Thanks Gabriella! 🙂

  13. sam

    This material is helpful. I should make improvement going forward as i work on the highlighted themes. Thanks for sharing.

    • David Morin

      I’m sure you will! Good luck 🙂

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