Why You Don’t Need an “Interesting Life Story” to be Interesting

I know a guy who’s not the traditional social type… at all.

He doesn’t care much about his looks or what others think of him.

He isn’t even that interested in making new friends. He just wants to relax and hang out with his girlfriend and close social circle.

Still, people seem to gravitate towards him.

As an example, he ran into a well-known TV-comedian a few weeks ago here in Sweden. Guess what happens? The comedian wants to meet up again and soon they’re hanging out.

He shows how you don’t have to be like everyone else to have a great social life.

So, how does he pull this off? As I’ve known him for many years, I’ve seen first hand what he’s doing:

1. He never tries to make people like him

When he meets people, he isn’t looking for their approval. He never brags about his accomplishments, unless someone asks. He lets the other person talk and shows a genuine interest in the people he meets.

2. He acts like he’s known the person for years

You know the nervous conversation two strangers have when they’ve just met? They have a constant nervous smile on their face and go up in tone by the end of each question.

– Do you come here often?

– Yes sometimes. And you?

– Yes sometimes me too.

(awkward silence)

– Lovely weather, isn’t it?

He’s the opposite of that. He talks about what’s on his mind with the same comfort as if he spoke to someone he’s known for years.

3. He nurtures his interests

You probably wonder where he meets all these people. He’s involved in things he’s interested in. If there’s no group for his interest, he starts one. Throughout his life, he’s been involved in everything from political groups to stand-up comedy workshops.

He’s a living example that you don’t have to turn into someone you’re not, compromising who you are, or being shallow.

What it ACTUALLY takes to become an interesting person

I often hear people say:

“I’m not an interesting person. I don’t have a cool or representable life story. How do I make my life seem more interesting?”

You know what? Your life story isn’t the important part when it comes to being interesting.

One of the things people like about my friend is that he’s as far from self-centered that you can be. People find him incredibly interesting. Not because he talks about how interesting he is, but because he always finds things to talk about that also interests others.

  1. He knows how to scout for similar interests
  2. Then, he talks about those interests with the person and asks follow-up questions
  3. If he’s experienced something he knows is interesting to the person he talks to, THEN he shares it

What makes you truly interesting isn’t the life you live.

What you need is an interest in people.

That interest in people will help you discover what you have in common with people.

Read mroe here: How to be an interesting person to talk to.

When you’re good at finding commonalities, THAT’S when people say “It’s so interesting to talk to you!”

What are 3 things you are looking for in a friend? 3 commonalities that make you like someone. When you know what you’re looking for, it’s much easier to find it.

Head over to the comments below to see what others have written, and share what you are looking for!

David Morin is the founder of SocialPro. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. hay,,, same.. i also am not much interested in romantic stuffs,, but as most of the other people around me likes it ( specially girls) ,,, i forcefully try to show interest in,, this really feels very uncomfortable ,,
    I also like science and fiction, , actions ,, and sports,, but seems like not much people are like us, 😕

    Reply
  2. hay,,, same.. i also am not much interested in romantic stuffs,, but as most of the other people around me likes it ( specially girls) ,,, i forcefully try to show interest in,, this really feels very uncomfortable ,,
    I also like science and fiction, , actions ,, and sports,, but seems like not much people are like us, 😕

    Reply
  3. umm,, i am a student, , but unlike most, I do like science .. I like to watch documentaries and si fy stuff.. But unfortunately, most the people I’m around are least interested in, that’s why I some times feel left out,, 🙁

    Reply
  4. Am genuinely a good listener and I can understand things from people’s perspectives, but the most people that I have met these past few years weren’t doing the same and for me to try keep the peace with them was me changing my behaviour for them up until I started to lose patience so now it’s the first time am actually trying to socialize and cutting the previous negative people in my life and starting afresh so if anyone feels like they are similar to me, let me know👌🏼

    Reply
  5. Hello !
    I saw a most are looking and tagging some intrests that what they love to talk and hear or search for somone. Okay ill do it mine im a guy and who studying and working (training) on construction industry i love to meet people who are love to study no matter what it is and yes i love sports i love everything. Travel music sports and mmm. Etc. But hey i dont know how this is work but honestly i would like to say i cant get practice with i mean im not from the usa or uk so its not realistic and yes we can talk anything space technology and aports life animals i m not saying to that im like a professor but i know them to talk and i have my own ideas on them. Having a contact of foreign friends makes me happy and i know my locals are never here. Cause if there is someone like me he usually get hidden . Stay safe and be healthy !!

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