I know a guy who’s not the traditional social type… at all.
He doesn’t care much about his looks or what others think of him.
He isn’t even that interested in making new friends. He just wants to relax and hang out with his girlfriend and close social circle.
Still, people seem to gravitate towards him.
As an example, he ran into a well-known TV-comedian a few weeks ago here in Sweden. Guess what happens? The comedian wants to meet up again and soon they’re hanging out.
He shows how you don’t have to be like everyone else to have a great social life.
So, how does he pull this off? As I’ve known him for many years, I’ve seen first hand what he’s doing:
1. He never tries to make people like him
When he meets people, he isn’t looking for their approval. He never brags about his accomplishments, unless someone asks. He lets the other person talk and shows a genuine interest in people he meets.
2. He acts like he’s known the person for years
You know the nervous conversation two strangers have when they’ve just met? They have a constant nervous smile on their face and go up in tone by the end of each question.
– Do you come here often?
– Yes sometimes. And you?
– Yes sometimes me too.
– Lovely weather, isn’t it?
He’s the opposite of that. He talks about what’s on his mind with the same comfort as if he spoke to someone he’s known for years.
3. He nurtures his interests
You probably wonder where he meets all these people. He’s involved in things he’s interested in. If there’s no group for his interest, he starts one. Throughout his life, he’s been involved in everything from political groups to stand-up comedy workshops.
He’s a living example that you don’t have to turn into someone you’re not, compromising who you are, or being shallow.
What it ACTUALLY takes to become an interesting person
I often hear people say:
“I’m not an interesting person. I don’t have a cool or representable life story. How do I make my life seem more interesting?”
You know what? Your life story isn’t the important part when it comes to being interesting.
One of the things people like about my friend is that he’s as far from self-centered that you can be. People find him incredibly interesting. Not because he talks about how interesting he is, but because he always finds things to talk about that also interests others.
- He knows how to scout for similar interests
- Then, he talks about those interests with the person and asks follow-up questions
- If he’s experienced something he knows is interesting to the person he talks to, THEN he shares it
What makes you truly interesting isn’t the life you live.
What you need is an interest in people.
That interest in people will help you discover what you have in common with people.
When you’re good at finding commonalities, THAT’S when people say “It’s so interesting to talk to you!”
What are 3 things you are looking for in a friend? 3 commonalities that make you like someone. When you know what you’re looking for, it’s much easier to find it.
Head over to the comments below to see what others have written, and share what you are looking for!