December 25, 2013 David Morin

Where to Find Friends Who Are More Like You

If you are new to a city, or your friends moved away, finding others to connect with can seem like a difficult process. However, by following these tips, it can help you find other people to meet.

Before venturing out into public, it’s important that you have the right mindset. If you go into this process only interested in what others offer you, it becomes a selfish pursuit where others will see right through your motives and will distance themselves from you. Therefore, you should be genuinely interested in others. Here are some ways you can communicate this to people.

  • First, you should be an active listener. When meeting new people for the first time, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask them about their interests. For example, if you join a sports club on campus, don’t be afraid to ask others what their favorite teams are or what other sports they enjoy. By doing this, you will discover more about their interests, while showing them you are interested in them.
  • Next, it’s important that you take the initiative to set up gatherings. This can result in something simple such as you inviting some friends out for a beer. The key here is to show others you want to spend time with them.
  • Lastly, you will want to show you’re willing to be flexible in your new friendships. Some of the friends I have enjoy doing different activities that may not interest me. However, by going to these activities with them, I’m showing that I care about their interests and that the time spent together is more in important than what we do.

When you have the right mindset and approach down, here are some ways to find friends based on your circumstances.

  • If you are in college, look for groups that capture your interest. Even if you go to a community college, there are student activities where you can find others that share similar interests. Many universities have a student activities’ page that lists pertinent information about each group.
  • If you are new in town, it’s important to explore your community. Try websites such as Meetup, as they are a great resource in finding social groups in your new area. Other great options would be community churches if you are religious or explore to see if your city has a trade group for your specific profession.
  • Speaking of work, this is an excellent environment for you to meet new friends. A good icebreaker for you to try is to find out more about your coworkers by asking what their interests are outside of work. Once you have established a comfort level between you and them, invite them out for lunch or to do an activity outside of work. This can serve as a great opportunity to bond with others.
  • Another great option for you to explore is try finding volunteer opportunities in your community. While this won’t serve as a social only purpose, it is a great way to give back, learn more about your community’s needs and meet like-minded people in the process.
  • Lastly, you should try to reconnect with childhood or high school buddies using social media websites such as Facebook. This is an easy way to see how friends from your past are doing, and perhaps try to rekindle an old friendship.

To recap, there are many ways for you to find friends in a new city or any other circumstances. By taking advantage of the many resources available, you can find events to attend that may have people who share the same interests as you. Furthermore, by taking the initiative at work, school, or community activities, you can take the first steps to connect with others, which could lead to great friendships.

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In an online social skills world full of so-called gurus peddling shallow and manipulative advice, SocialPro stands apart.

David has really done his homework on this site - much of the content is derived from psychological studies, and he takes care to explain concepts in a way that makes them easy to apply. Plus, his content is ethical and scrupulously avoids shady tricks or manipulative techniques.

Dan Wendler Creator of the 260.000+ subreddit /socialskills