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Comments (21)

  1. Kk

    My significant other passed last year together unsepaeratble for 21 years.
    I didn’t keep in contact with no one
    left that behind In past had my everything with me and that was gone
    So became isolated low self-esteem didn’t care.Now I got myself into becoming the best me time will tell
    Thank you your info is helping me with my decisions about life

    Thank you

  2. Anonymous

    I was not so social during my college days. Got panic attacks on talking to girls and teachers and strangers. But when I got a job, I decided to change that. I practiced giving a speech which helped me in my biz skill sessions. During the training months, the people were really supportive and encouraged me to be more open. I became too open and hurt some people’s feelings.
    Then I got my posting and the people there were also supportive, but that did no help to my sudden anxiety attacks that would cramp up my stomach. I isolated myself. After few months, there were new additions to our team and I thought it as an opportunity to restart my social interactions. I mixed with people, became open in interactions, this time considering other people’s feelings, did not have hate small talks anymore, and everything was going fine.
    But then again something happened and minimalized my interactions with people. Recently I came across your site and subscribed to it. It is really helping me practically. Clearing most of my questions and doubts that were holding me from being socially active. Also many if the techniques like finding common ground and all, I have applied them and seen great results before I read this site. I always wanted someone
    who would mentor me on this. This site was recommended to me by a colleague a year ago but I ignored it saying I will let things happen naturally. I have improved no doubt by doing natural trial and error, but it sometimes costs friendships. This site is great. I will take things slowly this time, without putting too much effort to change my basic self, without allowing too little change to make myself better. thanks David for putting your experiences out here. I look forward to the journey from being awkward to awesome. Speaking of which, how do I join that program?

  3. Tyra

    For about four years ago I started playing basketball and I dared to talk to anyone there, I never became a part of the group so after half a year I left. After that I realised that I have to change my behaviour in new groups, communicate more and dare to be heard. So I challenged myself, I went on a language trip, I started in athletics, I shifted class and so on. Today I’m still the shy one but at a whole new level. Hence, I think it is important for us to challenge ourselves, even if it’s terrifying sometimes. Because otherwise we will miss out on SO many stuff. If I would be the same person I was when I joined the basketball team I wouldn’t even have half as many friends as I have now.

  4. Aurora

    Honestly, I do think I could end up improving my awkwardness and that it’s not just who I am. But what if everyone else that’s seen you thinks that? Everyone at my school has already made up their mind about me and think of me as the quiet shy and boring person with no social skills and I think they would think it would be too weird if I suddenly start to change.

  5. Jacob

    This is so true! But I would argue that even those so-called “social butterflies” have a lot to learn before they can actually connect with just about anybody. Even with experience, they don’t truly understand the specific, psychological principles that underly having a good conversation. Some of them tend to sound very narcissistic and self-centered when they talk with others, and some might have some underlying prejudice against certain types of people. I feel like anybody could learn from a guidebook on social skills to take their own ability to bond and have conversations to the next level. I personally struggle with deciding who I want to be friends with and how to expand my social network, despite having a good understanding of social skills, and I never invited people out to a fun, enjoyable event.

  6. Josh

    Similar to your story I’ve always just assumed that my awkwardness and nervousness meeting people was just the way I am. I never really questioned it. However I do considered myself to be an excellent learner and hearing you say that these are skills to be learned puts some of my anxiety to ease. Looking forward to more!

  7. Matthew

    Hi David
    Thank you for sharing your story in such a humble and honest way, quite inspiring.

    Anyway I struggle with confidence in Social situations whilst also worrying too much about what others think of me. Therefore I find it difficult to make deeper connections with existing friends and other people.

    • David Morin

      <3

      I've noticed recently many of our readers share that problem with you, I'll try to write more about it in the future.

  8. Shyneka

    I never mentioned how much strength It must of taken
    to be where you are today
    today
    being so patient & having the most fantastic belief in your self will not been easy
    Using a strategy propelled you forward
    and helpt you Endure others whilst exercising amazing faith towards your plans.
    You set goals that you desired to achieve and
    you went all out for them and never lost sight of you vision dreams & direction.
    You are amazingly motivated & driven.

  9. Ingrid

    Thank you David for sharing your story. I recognice myself in most of it. I can still feel the pain and shame when I think back at some occations way back. For me, shame came along with the feeling of beeing a social failure. Then my fright got me to be a bit suspicious to new people and I can now , years after se that I acted in a way that most likely made people avoid me. Also, I avoided and said no to many things because of my social “imparement”.
    I belive I gradually “got better” as years gone by but still I feel at ease only with a few. I really would like to make new friends but I still find it SO SO hard! Well, I`m glad I got my eyes on your letters, gave me some hope!:) In one of your earlier e-mail you said something that made me SO happy and that made me feel that FINALLY! Here is someone who knows what he is actually talking about. It was the word about skipping the self-help ideas about “just throw youreself out there, -talk to 10 new strangers every day! Instead you said something about expanding your comfortzone in small steps..Thank you!! Look forward reading your next e-mail:) // Ingrid

  10. Camilla

    Hi David and team social pro!

    I think that your story is amazing David! 😃 And as I writen before I think that what you’ll doing here at socialPro is amazing. 😃👍

    I think I alreaddy shared my story; I like my ponytail 😄 doing my best to get out in that social life again (not as god at talking as at writing). But more to my story is that I meet a guy who was narcissist. So my shame over what he did to me keeping me from my social life (and my old friends) sometime. So you and your team are my inspiration right now! 🙂👍

    • David Morin

      Thank you so much Camilla! That means a lot to me 😀

      I’m glad we can be a part of your process to heal and be yourself again. Narcissists are the worst… I have friends with narcissistic parents so I know what kind of damage people like that can do and how tough it is to heal 🙁 I can recommend this forum for people who share your experience with a narcissistic partner: https://www.reddit.com/r/NRelationships/

      People like you inspire me to keep doing this!

  11. Onurb

    Hello David,

    thank you very much for sharing your story and giving us helpful advice.

    So here’s my story:

    Before I started working on my social skills, I had a bad case of social anxiety. During that period I was actively avoiding people due to my lack of social skills and fear of getting into conversations. When I had to talk to people, our conversations quickly came to a halt and i felt like a wall or a drain – people talked to me, but my responses were basic at best.

    Several months ago I realized I needed to change so I started working on my confidence to get rid of my social anxiety. I’ve succeeded in getting rid of my fear of entering conversations and I do okay in one-on-one conversations.
    Howewer, my mind still goes blank when I’m in a group setting because I don’t know what to say. I also sometimes get interrupted while speaking and in those situations I just go silent and let that person speak.

    So to wrap this up, I’ve made some progress thanks to some self-help books, videos and websites (including your blog), but i know there’s still a lot to learn when it comes to social skills.

    Best regards, Onurb

    • David Morin

      Thank you so much for sharing Onurb, it’s good to hear you’ve started on your journey already! Stay awesome!

  12. Peter Shelton

    I am so fed up I don’t know what direction to take anymore
    What can i do about cruel jealous people who stop me from advancing to the next level because of my successes working with vulnerable people and being popular with people.
    These are people who I thought weren’t close friends I am withdrawing into myself , I am been overlooked for promotion to full time work from volunteering the last year radio stations invited me to tell my amazing story for mental awareness with what am i to do

  13. Hello David, I really need help, I don’t know what to say to people, after the occasional hello, I go blank, I would think and think and nothing comes to mind, eventually I would just give up and think “why do I have to start the conversation anyway”

    Please help

  14. Debra

    I appreciate you sharing this information with us. I also have difficulty with conversations. I am shy, and usually don’t know what to say to people after hello. I would also like to feel confident when meeting or entertaining people.

    Thanks,

    • David Morin

      Thanks Debra, just knowing where your difficulties lie is the first step towards dealing with them. Many people never even have the courage to admit they’re not perfect. Look out for my next mail, I think it might give you a push in the right direction. Thank you so much for sharing!

  15. Mathis D

    Thank you so much for sharing David! To be honest I feel like my path has just started. I have a couple of friends but I don’t really feel I can share everything with them, I want to get closer with my friends and to be more relaxed meeting new friends. So far I feel like I have taken the “safe” path in life. I have always been so afraid of people not liking me.

    • David Morin

      Glad to have you here Mathias!
      Looking forward to follow your progress

      David

  16. Hey David,

    That’s an awesome honest story.
    My realization is similar,… often there is this thought, that what you think is what you are. But what you DO is what you are. So doing social, makes you social.

    I started off as a geeky college student, but through trial and error. Going to parties of strangers, studying abroad and stepping up to new people, I learned to be social. And see me as socially versed.

    Best, Timon