20 ways to tell fake friends from real friends

How do you tell if a friend is fake or not? It’s not easy because nobody is just good or bad. We all got good sides and bad sides.

But in some people or relationships, the bad sides take over. And that’s when you got a fake friend.

Here are 20 signs that will help you tell your fake friends from your real ones.

1. Pay attention to how much they talk about themselves

I once had a “friend” who would call me almost every day to talk about his ideas and problems. I tried to be a good friend by listening to him and giving him my best feedback.

On some days I also had something on my mind I wanted to talk about, but there was never any space for me to talk. And if I did get to talk a little, he soon changed the topic back to him. read more

How to deal with self-doubt: The secret confident people use


When I was about to leave everything in Sweden and move to NYC, these doubts popped up in my head:

  • But what if I don’t make any friends?
  • What if I don’t like it there?
  • What if I don’t make any money?
  • What if I have to go back to Sweden and everyone sees that I’m a failure?

Here’s what I’ve come to learn about self-doubt:

1: Everyone has it.

2: Everyone who’s ever succeeded with anything has felt like this and followed their dream ANYWAY.

Life is about doing things DESPITE the feeling that we might fail.

Isn’t it crazy to let life be dictated by a negative voice telling us it won’t work?

And we go “Oh, yeah, you’re right, negative voice. I’ll ditch all my dreams because it might not work”. read more

Were they making fun of me behind my back?

In school, I felt like an outsider.

I saw how others connected and had a great time, while I struggled.

Take the other guys in my class for example. I often worried that they were making fun of me behind my back and it felt like it was them inside and then me outside. (We’ve written an article about how to spot a fake friend from a real friend over here.)

Go here to read more about how to deal with someone making fun of you.

One day, a new guy came to class. After a week, he was closer with my classmates than I was after a year. read more

Interview with Tyler Tervooren on Using Systems to Retain Friendships

Tyler Tervooren blogs about strategies, leadership and smart risk taking for introverts Riskology.co.

In this interview, we cover topics including:

How to stop fiddling (+ other habits that make us look nervous)

This puzzled me for a long time:

I tried not fiddling, having more eye contact, having a better posture, and so on.

But it didn’t work!

As soon as I didn’t pay attention, I started fiddling again or I forgot about eye contact and posture.

One day, a friend told me about a principle Toyota uses to make cars. It’s called Genchi Genbutsu, and it helped me understand why I couldn’t stop fiddling.

So I’m probably missing some details here but the story of Genchi Genbutsu goes something like this: read more

“I don’t know who I am!” (How to find your identity)

How do you know who you really are?

Like, how do you know what your values are and what you really think and feel about things?

Here’s the comment that inspired me to write today’s text. It’s from one of our readers, Jaimie:

“As I am reading these articles and watching your videos (which are fantastic by the way!) I find myself thinking that, even if I do apply these principles to my social life, I will still struggle.

I actually don’t know what I think about things, or what I value and why. I have been such a people pleaser for so long, terrified of rejection, that I lost myself in it all. read more

Why Bars and Parties are Terrible for Connecting and What to do Instead

Look at this email I just got:

“Many times I try to have more personal conversations in bars and at parties but people don’t want to talk about more personal things.

I asked someone what they did, whether they loved their job and what they would do if they could do anything.

They just said, “I don’t know, still thinking about it”. People don’t want to have deep and meaningful personal conversations in bars and parties, they just want to keep it light and have a laugh.”

This experience is spot on why loud bars and parties are so bad for connecting with people and getting to know someone. read more