12 Ways to Make Intellectual Conversation

Intellectual Conversation

I LOVE intellectual conversations.

When I moved to a new town and didn’t know anyone, I was starved on them. I just got stuck in small talk with people I didn’t know well.

That forced me to learn to be really good at getting past the chit-chat and making intellectual conversation.

1. You can’t make intellectual conversation with everyone

Some people just aren’t interested in intellectual conversations. Only some of those you come across in life will be.

This guide is about how to figure out who is, and get past the shallow small talk with them so you can transition into more intellectual conversation. read more

“I don’t know what to say” – 10 tips to always know what to say

I don't know what to say

I’ve always been uncomfortable talking to someone new or people I didn’t know well.

Over the years, I’ve learned exactly what to do whenever I found myself thinking “I don’t know what to say”.

First of all: It’s NORMAL not knowing what to say. I thought there was something wrong with me. It just turned out that I needed to learn some strategies for when the head goes blank. You see, social skills aren’t something we’re born with. They’re just that – skills – something we can learn. read more

“I hate people” – What to do when you don’t like people

I hate people - when you don't like people, do this

If you’re like me, you’re naturally inclined to not like people.

Here’s what I’ve learned after years of studying how people work, and why it seems like everyone gets along just fine while we’re the only ones who seem to think “I hate people”.

1. Is this you? Then, this guide is for you

Do you agree with several of the following statements?

  • Most people feel shallow and stupid
  • Many of those you’ve actually invested time and emotion in have ended up betraying you
  • You’ve come to realize that beneath the surface, people actually don’t care about others and lose interest in hanging out when it doesn’t suit them
  • You’re fed up with small talk and superficial niceness.
  • If you ever come home after a day of having to interact with others and think “I hate people”, this is for you.

Here’s the good news:

2. Why some of us don’t like people and why that’s good

When I started studying behavioral science, I learned that it’s common to be fed up with and even hate people.

A-type personalities (We who value getting things done over chit-chatting and exchanging pleasantries) are inclined to not like people. (Study) read more

20 interesting things to talk about

Interesting things to talk about

Here’s a list of 20 general topics with interesting things to talk about. Use these for inspiration for an interesting discussion with both your friends and new people you don’t know yet!

1. Passions/Hobbies

Discovering each other’s passions and hobbies is a great conversation topic. You learn more about the other person, and you will find areas of commonality. We, humans, love talking about things we are passionate about!

You don’t necessarily have to talk about current passions or hobbies either – reminiscing about passions from the past works too and paints a picture of the person you are. read more

How to be an interesting person to talk to

How to be an interesting person to make conversation with

How do you become more interesting to talk to? How do you make sure that people think it’s interesting to talk to you?

I’m sure you’ve been in the situation where you’ve run into your neighbor and they kept dragging on about their new favorite health food craze and why kale is the new quinoa. All the while, you were thinking about the pizza rolls in your freezer and how you were going to eat them promptly after the conversation, in spite of everything they just said.

It’s natural to not want to be invested in every single conversation you have with every single person you come in contact with every single day- that would be incredibly exhausting. The question is, how can you see if someone wants to continue talking or if they want to end the conversation? read more

We asked 249 women in their 20s and 30s about their social life struggles. This is what we learned (New research)

women's social life struggles

What social life problems can women expect to face in their 20s and 30s?

Over 6 months, we asked 249 women to rate how motivated they were to improve 21 different areas of their social lives.

When we compared the results between different age groups we made 7 surprising findings that we present in this article.

Why are these findings new and important?

This is the first time women’s social life struggles and motivations have been tracked in such detail. It gives new insight into women’s challenges that previous research missed out on.

SocialPro has 55 000 female readers per month, and we wanted to know what struggles they face in their social lives. Women are traditionally underrepresented in studies.(9, 10, 11, 12). We found no previous studies on women’s social life struggles. This motivated us to raise awareness about the topic. read more

How to make friends in NYC – 8 ways I met new people

How to make friends in New York City

When I first arrived in New York City 2 years ago, I didn’t know ANYONE.

Boarding the plane to NYC with my one-way ticket from Sweden.

Today, I’m blessed with a family of friends that I can always do something fun with

Me with some of my friends in Central Park

Here’s how to make friends in NYC.

1. Choose a co-living rather than renting an apartment

When I moved to NYC I decided to try a co-living, meaning living together with a group of others. My first house here was a 3 story brownstone in Brooklyn. I shared the space with 15 other people. Artists, entrepreneurs, tech guys. There was a little bit of everything here. read more

How to improve conversation skills – 11 ways that work

How to improve conversation skills

These are the 11 best resources on how to improve your conversation skills. If you, like me, weren’t born knowing how to effortlessly talk to anyone, this guide is for you.

1. How to make interesting conversation

A few years ago, I started wondering about the difference between the conversations that seemed endlessly entertaining, and the ones that went nowhere quickly.

Was I the problem? Were some conversational topics just more engaging than others? The answer is kind of a “yes, but no”.

The best way to keep a conversation going is when both you and the person you talk to are interested in continuing it. You do that by talking about things you have in common. read more

30 best jobs for people with social anxiety in 2019

Jobs for people with social anxiety

Welcome to the Internet’s most comprehensive list of good jobs for people with social anxiety.

We’ve divided the jobs into the following categories:

  1. Jobs you can learn on your own
  2. Jobs that don’t require experience or education
  3. Jobs that require formal education

Jobs you can learn on your own

Media and design

Graphic designer

As a graphic designer, you can work from home and would only need to contact your clients via email, skype or IM. Even if you work from an office, the majority of the time will be spent working on your own, with the exception of breaks and briefings. Because of this, it’s a popular job for people with social anxiety or introversion.

Average pay: $48 250 / $23 per hour. (Source) read more

How to tell if a girl likes you: 42 signs she has a crush on you

How to tell if a girl likes you

How do you know if a girl likes you or even has a crush on you?

My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve coached hundreds of men to have more success with women.

Here’s a list of 42 signs to help you understand how she feels about you.

1. Is she laughing at your jokes (even when they’re bad)?

This has always been a BIG GREEN SIGN of interest for me. I’ve seen it both in most of the girls I’ve dated and also in girls my friends have dated. If she got a crush on you, she will most likely think all your jokes are super funny even if they aren’t.

Read more: How to be funny (for un-funny people). read more

301 small talk questions to ask friends, grouped for EVERY occasion

questions to ask a friend

I often get asked by our readers:

“What are good questions to ask friends?” and “What are funny questions I can ask someone?” “What should I ask to get to know someone?”

We decided to go ahead and make a mega list of not 100, not 200, but 301 funny, deep and interesting questions to ask a friend, someone you want to get to know better, or just to have fun.

Conversation starters

General conversation starters

Nice to meet you, what’s your name?

How do you know people here?

What brings you here?

Are you from around here?

Do you come here often? read more

“I have no friends”: 6 PROVEN steps to get the friends you want

Lonely person who has no friends

During my high school years, it was hard for me to connect with people.

I felt depressed when no one liked me, and I hated having to spend weekends and evening alone.

Say hi to old David

On top of that, I was an introvert who felt shy in large groups, so parties or mingles were not for me.

I was certain there was something wrong with me. I wondered “Why don’t I have any friends?”

I started reading about social skills and how to get a social life up and running. I went from “I have no friends” to “I have no time for all my friends”. read more

20 ways to tell fake friends from real friends

fake friends

How do you tell if a friend is fake or not? It’s not easy because nobody is just good or bad. We all got good sides and bad sides.

But in some people or relationships, the bad sides take over. And that’s when you got a fake friend.

Here are 20 signs that will help you tell your fake friends from your real ones.

1. Pay attention to how much they talk about themselves

I once had a “friend” who would call me almost every day to talk about his ideas and problems. I tried to be a good friend by listening to him and giving him my best feedback.

On some days I also had something on my mind I wanted to talk about, but there was never any space for me to talk. And if I did get to talk a little, he soon changed the topic back to him. read more

Science reveals: 3 steps to make friends with ANYONE

Did you know that it only takes 3 steps to connect and make friends with anyone?

This is something EVERYONE should learn in school.

Step 1: Show people clearly that you like them.

Do you know what we humans tend to do when we feel uncomfortable in a social setting?

We become self-conscious and hesitant. Other misinterpret that as if we don’t really like them. (I mean, would YOU want to try to talk to someone who comes off as reserved?)

We want to fight our urge to be distant and for others to be nice toward us first. read more

Interview with Tyler Tervooren on Using Systems to Retain Friendships

Tyler Tervooren blogs about strategies, leadership and smart risk taking for introverts Riskology.co.

In this interview, we cover topics including:

Read moreInterview with Tyler Tervooren on Using Systems to Retain Friendships

How to deal with self-doubt: The secret confident people use

When I was about to leave everything in Sweden and move to NYC, these doubts popped up in my head:

  • But what if I don’t make any friends?
  • What if I don’t like it there?
  • What if I don’t make any money?
  • What if I have to go back to Sweden and everyone sees that I’m a failure?

Here’s what I’ve come to learn about self-doubt:

1: Everyone has it.

2: Everyone who’s ever succeeded with anything has felt like this and followed their dream ANYWAY.

Life is about doing things DESPITE the feeling that we might fail.

Isn’t it crazy to let life be dictated by a negative voice telling us it won’t work?

And we go “Oh, yeah, you’re right, negative voice. I’ll ditch all my dreams because it might not work”. read more

What to do when friends only talk about themselves and aren’t interested in you

We just got an email about getting stuck in the “listener trap”:

“[…] After about 6 months of “friendship”, these people turn to me as someone to talk to, as I always seem interested in their daily affairs.

The difficulty is that they just want to talk about themselves. I am afraid that if I start talking about myself, these friends would find me whiny and stop being friends with me!

I personally think that I may be not interesting enough to people, and thus people don’t seem to take interest in what I say or do – they just like me for being someone they can vent to or talk to or seek advice from. read more