Were they making fun of me behind my back?

In school, I felt like an outsider.

I saw how others connected and had a great time, while I struggled.

Take the other guys in my class for example. I often worried that they were making fun of me behind my back and it felt like it was them inside and then me outside. (We’ve written an article about how to spot a fake friend from a real friend over here.)

Go here to read more about how to deal with someone making fun of you.

One day, a new guy came to class. After a week, he was closer with my classmates than I was after a year.

That “proved it” to me: There’s definitely something wrong with me!

Like I’ve said before, I don’t regret that time, because that’s what formed who I am today.

I just wish I knew this back then:

Just because something is in a certain way, doesn’t mean it will always be that way.

You see, back then everything felt pretty dark to me. I had low self-esteem, so I didn’t believe that I would be able to turn things around.

I had good times, too, and I did have some friends.

It was just that being off socially and seeing others hit it off when I didn’t make me think less of myself.

I had little hopes I would improve.

I could rationally see that practice makes perfect, but it FELT like there was something wrong with me and it FELT like this was how life would be.

Here’s what I’ve learned after all these years: It doesn’t matter what it FEELS like. Sometimes, you just have to do what you know is right even if feels like it won’t work out.

How did your childhood affect your social beliefs today? Did you worry about people making fun of you behind your back? Let me know in the comments!

David Morin is the founder of SocialPro. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. Thanks a lot for your emails David, the scenarios you use are really relatable which is a big part of what makes them helpful and inspirational.
    I feel like I’m pretty good at small talk and self confidence and all that but only when I’m around close friends and considering how difficult I find it to introduce myself to new people sometimes, I don’t really have many of them but you’ve inspired me to open up a lot more to new people.

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  2. I am about to reach 40 and I have almost lost all my friends. I am not good on small talks and always struggle to find what I should talk. I am scared of situation with I and some other person is left in room. With more person, at least I am give sometime fake smile to just pretend that I am part of their conversation, but internally I know they ignore me. Sometime I try to say something, but mostly it is ignore and then, I am back with more fake smiles.
    Anyway, All of mail from David email campaign touches me so much that it fells like it has been written about me & for me. Thanks David. It is like you know me, something I can not even mention or describe to my most close person also. Thanks again.

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