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  1. Landon

    Landon Nady

    Hello! I have always had a hard time fittig in! I don’t relate to my fellow piers who all have a certain way of talking,acting and meems and generic taste in the exact same things. Also I can’t relate to having masculine hobbies like other men. I like watching movies,and doing things considered the less masculine things. I always feel so different, like an outsider. And it makes it easy for guys to verbally overpower me, for people to like me for a while because I’m friendly but they get scared off because I want a friendship, or i want to be validated and accepted. I really have a rejection issue. For years and years i have. I want to finally rise above. Even if I don’t meet certain social standards

    • Kat

      Me too, I can relate wholeheartedly

  2. Lamia Siddiqui

    Hello! I had previously been struggling with social anxiety and gaining acceptance and validation from people and have gotten about 40-50 % better. What I still have problems with are not thinking too much about what others think of me wayy to much and not totally changing my personality. I classify myself as someone who used to be a hypersensitive person who would get offended by the slightest remarks and not know what to do about those feelings. What I have noticed is that people my age (mid-teens) don’t like or gravitate towards this personality type at all, rather, they belittle it; that is why I feel I always have to mask my true identity and personality… Do you think it’s worth it to do this or should I just embrace who I am, as I have a really difficult time getting along with people because of this trait of mine; I never really grew my sense of humor and learned to talk things easily. Is being sensitive a trait of a weak mind? What about qualities like empathy and deep care for others that I almost never get back to the same degree. I can sense every little thing around me to another level and it’s really impacting my social development; I have never bonded with someone who has sensitivity to this degree. Another reason for my social isolation was because I never gave friendship much of an importance in middle school so I was always alone in the corner; when I tried changing myself I went overboard with talkativeness and being TOO outgoing (it was a very drastic personality change) and people ran away from me. They still kind of due because I can’t handle things easily; I take offense to every little thing? re laid-back people generally more likable? Please help me I have gone into depression due to social isolation and not having anyone to confide all of my thoughts with. Everytime I want to fit-in I do a drastic personality change and I don’t know if that’s entirely good. What should I do?

    • Maya

      Hey!

      My question may be a bit weird… But are you Algerian?

    • Katherine

      Hi Lamia,

      You may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), like me. You might want to try a Google search and see if this sounds like you. For years I was convinced there was something wrong with me, and HSPs often feel alone, like they’re the only one! Psychologist Elaine Aron describes sensitivity as a “trait”, with 20% of the population qualifying as “highly sensitive”. And you’re completely right: most people don’t value sensitivity. You describe being sensitive to criticism and easily taking offense, but are there ways your sensitivity is a good thing? It sounds like your strong feelings make you a very caring person, even if it’s hard for you to connect.

      I know (from experience) that it can be difficult to reach out when you feel so alone. You talk about feeling like you need to change yourself to be liked. It’s a GREAT idea to work on your skills and to grow as a person, but you don’t need to act like someone else. There are other sensitive people out there who might appreciate who you really are, when not trying to act differently. Other sensitive people probably aren’t the ones who get a lot of attention; they might be “alone in a corner”, like you describe yourself in middle school. I’d encourage you to look for other people that might be feeling a little bit alone right now. Some people like being alone and won’t want to talk, but some people might appreciate having someone take an interest in getting to know them.

      Best of luck! I hope I could help a little bit.