Mental Well-being / Loneliness

“Why do I Have No Friends?” – Quiz

Last updated March 30, 2021

Scientifically reviewed by Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A.

“Why do I Have No Friends?” – Quiz

“Why can’t I make friends? I feel like no one likes me, and I’ve realized that as an adult, it’s way harder than it was back in school.” – Kim

Feeling lonely or realizing that you don’t have friends can be upsetting. It can drain your self-esteem and confidence, which makes it even harder to feel motivated to socialize.

There are so many different reasons that you might not have friends, but the good news is that there is always something you can work on to help find the friends you want.

This quiz can help you to diagnose why you don’t have the friendship circle that you would like. Once you understand what the problem is, I will also offer suggestions for how you can start to work through your difficulties.

Finding new friends is rarely easy but spending the time to learn new social skills and build relationships will pay off in the long run.

These are common reasons for having no friends:

  1. Being an introvert
  2. Suffering from social anxiety or shyness
  3. Experiencing depression
  4. Having Aspergers
  5. Being socially inexperienced
  6. Not having social interests
  7. Recently having moved, split up with a partner, or changed job
  8. Not having time to socialize

This is a complex issue, and that why we’ve created a quiz. In addition to this quiz, see our main guide here: I have no friends.

Sections

  • Part 1: Thought patterns that can keep you from making friends
  • Part 2: Underlying reasons for having no friends
  • Part 3: Life situations that make it hard to make friends
  • Part 4: Common mistakes that make it hard to make friends
  • Part 5: having friends that don’t feel like real friends

Join our free training and learn these 5 secrets to making friends

  1. Learn to get past shallow small talk.
  2. Know where to find people who are more like you
  3. Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts.
  4. Learn why people who "don't try" often are so socially successful.
  5. See how you can go from boring to bonding in less than 7 minutes.

Start my free training.


“Why don’t I have friends?” – Quiz

Part 1: Thought patterns that can keep you from making friends

The things we tell ourselves about social situations can have a huge impact on how we experience the events themselves. There are several common beliefs or worries that can make it difficult to make new friends.

Do you worry about being rejected?

Do you often worry that people won't like you?

Do you often dislike or feel resentment toward others?

Do you feel that your efforts at friendship just aren't worth it because it doesn't work?

Do you find socializing boring or unrewarding?

Do you find it difficult to trust other people?

Do you feel like you don’t fit in or that you are different?

Part 2: Underlying reasons for having no friends

Often, there are underlying reasons for not having friends. Sometimes, these issues are so important that they need most of your focus. At other times, you can work on these issues together with more practical friend-making steps.

Are you more introverted than extroverted?

Do you suffer from social anxiety or shyness?

Do you see yourself as socially inexperienced? (Having spent less time socializing than others)

Do you suffer from depression?

Do you find yourself being overlooked in groups?

Do you get angry easily?

Do you have Aspergers (Autism Spectrum Syndrome)?

Do you suffer from bipolar disorder?

Do you have other mental health disorders or physical disabilities?

Part 3: Life situations that make it hard to make friends

Sometimes you will find yourself with no friends as a result of something unexpected happening in your life or the situation you find yourself in. This section offers suggestions for some of the more practical reasons that you might lack friends.

Are most of your interests solo activities?

Have you recently lost your social circle?

Do you lack friends in college?

Do you struggle to make new friends AFTER college?

Do you live in a rural area?

Do you feel like you have too little money to socialize?

Do you struggle to find the time to socialize?

Do you only socialize with your significant other?

Have you lost your social circle after a relationship breakdown?

Part 4: Common mistakes that make it hard to make friends

Up to this point, we’ve talked about underlying reasons and life situations that make it hard to make friends. However, we might also have a bad habit that comes between us and future friendships. While it can be painful to think about ways we can improve, it can make a massive difference to your social life.

Do you sometimes don't understand or pay attention to others' feelings? (Empathy)

Is it difficult for you to make small talk?

Do you feel like your conversations never lead to a deeper friendship?

Do you fail to keep in touch with people you meet?

Do you worry that you work too hard to make people like you?

Is there a risk that you look unapproachable? (Closed body language, tense facial expression)

Are you overly negative?

Do you sometimes feel like you lack self-awareness around people?

Part 5: Having friends that don’t feel like real friends

What if you technically have friends, but don’t feel like you can trust them when you need them? While there may be many reasons for friends not being there for you, we are going to focus on the things that you can do something about.

Do you regularly end up using your friends as therapists?

Do you fear that you sometimes might come off as too clingy?

Could you be more flexible or accommodating?

Is it a pattern in your life that people are toxic, rude, or selfish?

Show references +

Join our free training and learn these 5 secrets to making friends

  1. Learn to get past shallow small talk.
  2. Know where to find people who are more like you
  3. Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts.
  4. Learn why people who "don't try" often are so socially successful.
  5. See how you can go from boring to bonding in less than 7 minutes.

Start my free training.

David Morin is the founder of SocialPro. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. ive always never really have friends and when i keep making new ones, they end up being netter friends with someone else and that is what gives me axaity.

    Reply

  2. my friends are mean to me and they think that i am always ok but really i am never ok they think that i like them cuz i am lesben but i dont

    Reply

  3. REALLY good article.

    glad that we are not alone!!! YOU’RE NOT ALONE ! we were not all given the same opportunities either x

    Reply

  5. I had to move halfway across the country about 20 years ago, back to where I grew up. Not by choice. I’ve tried many times to make new friends here, but I feel like no one really wants to be my friend. I’ve always been good at approaching people, and having interesting conversations, but other people don’t seem to reciprocate. Example: At a job I left just before moving across country, there was one really nice woman that I would have loved to be friends with. I would ask her to have lunch with me on a regular basis and she almost always said yes. But, she never went out of her way to invite me to lunch. So I did a little experiment. I stopped asking her to lunch to see if she would go out of her way to ask me. She never did. Another example: After moving across country my family had a small family reunion. We called it a “cousin’s reunion” because two of my cousins were going to be there that lived a long way away. I tried to make plans with some of the cousins that I had been close to as a child. “Sure, we’ll get together sometime.” Never happened. Almost 20 years since I came back here, and I still don’t have one person I would call a friend. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel like I make all the effort to maintain friendships, and my friends just go along when I call, and rarely make an effort to call me, and try to get together. Am I too needy? I’m normally very introverted and am happy to spend hours, days, even week without contacting anyone. What am I doing wrong??

    Reply

  6. I just have no need for people they do nothing for me male or female I like my solitude I take care of myself and I don’t worry about anybody and I don’t need anybody to worry about me as far as my opinion that’s my business not theirs

    Reply

  8. This is a good quiz and it helped me. This is kinda my story about how my relationship is with others: I spent half of my 8th grade feeling like I’ve been shut out by my “friends”. They would save spots for their friends/already have a partner for a class, and ignore me, even tho. I was their friends earlier on. From that moment, I knew that I wouldn’t fit in with anyone anymore. I still fucking feel the same feeling now bc my closest friend from 6th grade is distance learning from a different school (I am distant learning from the same school I have been going to since 6th grade). When the coronavirus spread, I liked to sneak into my room alone being on my phone for my free time instead of playing with my annoying and pestering 3 yr. old sister and my “weird” parents. In my freshman year of HS, I have no friends and feel I like shit. All I fucking have is just 1 close friend (who is my crush) and a million ex-friends. When I go back to my school next year when I’m a sophomore in HS, I think my friends won’t be happy to see me again. I am a nice person and all, but I think that my friends fucking hate me now bc I feel shyer than when I was in middle school. I went from being popular to unpopular, outgoing to shy, happy to depressed and having lots of friends to feeling lonely. P.S. I’m not trying to be rude at all (seriously I’m not!!!)

    Reply

    • You sound so cute!!!! you sound like me when i was ur age!

      listen, most of the time its OTHERS that are not very nice people or well brought up.. its usually not you.

      do whatever u can, relax smile take it easy enjoy life… be nice to people and if they r not nice back, try with other potential friends!!! DONT WORRY about ppl from school, school will end and idiots will always be idiots x

      Reply

  9. Haha. cool quiz. Kinda already knew im lonely, introvert, occasionaly depressed because of no answers for the past and i seclude myself because its safer, energy is more effeciantly used, people will eventually move change or do something that made all that time to get to know them lost. lonely now, but will be better tomorrow i think. got tons of projects and hobbies i lov and do but occasionaly need a friend. maybe im just bored now. quiz is pretty accurate.

    Reply

  10. Thanks for the quiz!
    Sometimes I’m afraid in social situations, and feeling stupid standing there shy and quiet. Other times l feel confident and speaks alot. But l don’t know what l prefer, l would like something in between. Either l standing quiet, shy and feeling stupid, or l’m feeling secoure and say some words. But then l always end up saying some stupid or mean things l should’nt have said. Ex. Things l’ve been told from others that should’nt be shared, or negative thoughts about me and life. How to find a normal manner, and what is “normal”?

    Reply

  11. This is a great quiz and wonderful info! One problem I have is that if the other person talks a lot I’m not good at catching the flow and contributing fast enough. I feel like they sometimes keep talking because they get uncomfortable with a pause even if it’s tiny. I find it difficult to formulate sentences quickly. It’s easier when I’m writing but still slow. I think my ADD plays a role too. I get distracted. I do meditate by the way. It helps.

    Reply

    • My problem is I talk way too much but I think that’s mostly because I’m so lonely when I finally get a friend or family member on the phone or to talk to in person I’m so excited about it that I’m bubbling over with energy and can’t stop yacking away which I’m sure is a turn off

      Reply

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