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By nature, introverts prefer spending time alone just as much (if not more) than we enjoy spending time with other people.
But just because we may not choose to use our social skills as often as extroverts don’t mean we don’t have any.
Although our lack of socializing is by choice, occasionally we still find ourselves wondering if the reason why we don’t spend that much time with people is that other people just don’t like us.
In this article, you’ll find a guide to being likable and putting those social skills (we do have them, I swear!) to good use.
1. Pay Attention to People
As an introvert, there’s a pretty good chance you’re more observant than most as it is. This means the first step to being likable should come naturally to you if you don’t do it already.
People love to spend time with people who care about them. One of the main reasons why relationships of all types struggle and ultimately fall apart is that one or both of the people in the relationship aren’t doing a good job showing they care.
Paying attention to the people around you means noticing the details about them–physically, mentally, and emotionally– and then remembering them.
Asking about something that your friend mentioned in passing multiple weeks ago will stand out to her because it shows you were paying attention and you care. If you notice the necklace that she wears every single day and see that one day she’s not wearing it, asking about it will show how closely you pay attention to the little details that other people tend to overlook.
When you notice–and remember–the details about someone that most people either forget or never notice to begin with, people feel particularly special and cared for. As a result, they will want to spend more time around you.
This is one easy way for the introvert to become likable.
2. Express an Interest in Their Interests
Expressing an interest in other people’s interests is another easy way to become–and remain–well-liked.
While it’s important (and encouraged!) for you to talk about your passions and interests, making yourself the primary topic of conversation all the time is not a characteristic of likable people.
Instead, bringing up things that you know other people like will go a long way towards helping them enjoy their time with you.
When they’re talking about their interests, asking detailed questions will show that you genuinely want to learn more about it– not because you’re interested, but because they are.
For example, my dad loves cars. He knows how their engines function and loves to take them apart and rebuild them.
I really truly could not care less about cars– particularly their engines. But I love talking to my dad about cars anyway, and I can tell you all sorts of random facts about car engines as a result of discussing it with him.
I have these discussions with my dad not because I care about cars, but because I care about him. And because I care about him, I want to hear more about the things he’s passionate about.
Doing the same thing with the people in your life will make you likable because they will be comfortable talking to you about any and every topic and will be able to trust that you will listen and show interest.
3. Be Outgoing
This third component of becoming likable is one that may not be so easy for us introverts. (Read about good social event for introverts here.)
When you think of outgoing people, the first thing you probably think of is “loud.”
But, contrary to popular belief, being outgoing does not have to mean “loud and obnoxious.”
To be outgoing, you simply need to be willing to go new places, try new things, and have fun doing things you may not normally choose to do.
Outgoing people are fun, charismatic people, and this is the reason why being outgoing will make you likable. If you decide to go home every time your friends want to do something that isn’t your number one choice, sooner or later they’re probably going to stop inviting you because you aren’t very fun to be around.
Having an open mind to new things will give you the opportunity to try new things. The more new things you try, the more likely it is you will find things you enjoy doing. Being someone with a variety of ways to have fun is key to being a likable person.
You’re an introvert, but that doesn’t have to mean you’re isolated. You have what it takes to be a likable person, and making sure you’re expressing these qualities in your social circle will help you to become one of the most well-liked people around.
Which one of these characteristics of a likable person do you need to work on the most? Share your goals in the comments!