How to tell if a guy likes you: 38 signs he has a crush on you

How do you know if a guy likes you? He may be acting friendly and flirty towards you, but how can you know if that’s just his personality? You want to know if he has a crush on you rather than just being someone who hits on every other woman he meets.

It can be pretty hard to figure out if the attention a guy is giving you is genuine. Hopefully, this guide can give you some clarity.

Sections

  1. Signs a guy likes you
  2. How can you tell if a coworker likes you?
  3. Does your best friend like you?
  4. How to be sure whether or not a guy friend likes you

38 signs a guy likes you

When a guy has a crush on you, his behavior towards you will usually change. However, it can be difficult to figure out. He may be acting nervous because he’s shy or flirty because he’s friendly and outgoing.

Here are the best signs to help you tell if a guy has a crush on you or not.

1. He stares at you

You probably know how hard it is not to look at someone you like. Prolonged eye contact without talking is a big tell that a guy likes you.

But to be fair, it’s common for guys to stare at any girl they find attractive. And it’s an easy way for him to show his interest without having to approach you. But who knows, he might even have a secret crush on you.

2. He mirrors you

Mirroring means that his body language, posture, or even what he’s saying reflects what you said or did.

Examples of mirroring:

  • When you take a sip of your glass, he also takes a sip of his glass
  • When you cross your legs, he crosses his legs
  • When you get very animated/passionate in a conversation, he also gets animated
  • When you lean in, he also leans in
  • When you laugh, he laughs

Note that mirroring is done subconsciously when he has a good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if he wants to impress or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.

3. He added you on social media

Adding you on social media means he wants to keep in contact with you and might be interested in you. This is also good because now you can more easily start a conversation with him online.

4. His texts are longer than yours

If his texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.

If he usually gives short answers compared to you, that’s a bad sign. When you’re giving him long replies but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager.

In that case, it’s good to step back a bit and try to match him better. Keep in mind that some people are naturally better at others at texting.

5. He teases you

Most forms of teasing (even mean teasing) are usually a sign he’s interested in you. It means he’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that he wants a reaction from you.

Have fun with it, and don’t be afraid to tease him back! 😉

6. He’s leaning in

If he’s leaning in toward you, that shows he wants to get closer to you (or he’s really passionate about what he’s saying). When a guy has a crush on you, it can feel like he’s magnetically drawn to you.

7. He’s getting physically close to you

If you’re in a conversation and you feel like he’s edging closer to you, or as if he’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. He may be attracted to you and wants to feel physically and mentally closer to you.

Note that different cultures have different “personal spaces.” So, if he’s from a different culture than you, see how close he gets to others to see if it’s just you.

8. He offers you a massage

This is one of the most obvious tells that a guy likes you. Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a guy to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer him one back if you like him!)

9. He smiles at you

If he’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach him. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home.)

If he’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign he likes you. Especially if he has a light smile while you’re not even joking.

10. He’s giving you mixed signals

Mixed signals are really tricky to interpret and can make anyone confused. But in most cases, they do mean he’s interested in you. Here are the most common reasons why he’s giving you mixed and confusing signals.

Nine reasons why he’s giving you mixed signals:

  1. He doesn’t want to come off as too eager
  2. He’s shy
  3. He’s nervous and insecure
  4. He’s afraid of seeming desperate
  5. He’s afraid you’ll reject him
  6. He’s inexperienced in flirting
  7. He’s following some weird rules or pick-up tips he’s read
  8. He’s just flirting with you (because flirting is all about giving mixed signals)
  9. He likes the attention or validation he gets from you but isn’t really interested in you

Giving mixed signals may mean a guy likes you, but it doesn’t mean he’d make a good partner. If someone sometimes ignores you or is mean to you, you should avoid dating even if you have a mutual crush on each other. You deserve a partner who won’t have you second-guessing yourself.

11. He compliments you

Getting a compliment from a guy your age is a good sign. If he’s giving you compliments about how pretty you are, it’s an even better sign.

It can be hard to tell a friendly compliment from a romantic one because they can sound exactly the same. To know for sure, look for other signs he’s also giving you or describe your situation in the comments below.

12. His pupils are large

If his pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.

13. He makes eye contact with you

When a guy has a crush on you, it can be so hard for him to keep his eyes off of you. You can notice this if he’s holding eye contact with you for slightly too long.

It can almost feel a little weird or intense when it happens. And that’s great (if you like him).

14. He looks at you with open body language

This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example, at a bar or a club.

If he’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign he’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you he wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.

15. He straightens his posture

Is he straightening his back and standing up more straight? It means he’s a bit self-conscious when hanging out near you and wants to make a good impression.

It’s not a strong sign because most single guys want to make a good impression on attractive girls. But if you see it together with many other signs, it means more.

16. He faces you in group situations

If he’s facing you more often than he’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign he’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not the one talking the most in the group.

17. His feet are pointing towards you

If his feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if his body is facing you. He’s subconsciously focused on you, which makes his feet point toward you.

18. He fiddles with his clothes or accessories

This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because he wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.

19. His palms face you

If the palms of his hands are pointed in your direction, he might be interested in you. It’s a small sign, but it’s still positive because it’s part of his open and welcoming body language toward you.

20. He touches you when you touch him

For example, if you touch his arm, does he touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If he does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign.

If he’s shy or inexperienced, he might not feel comfortable touching you back, even if he has a crush on you.

21. He is extra touchy with you

A good tell he likes you is if he’s touching you unusually much compared to others.

Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if he touches those.

22. You have “peripheral physical contact”

Peripheral physical contact is when some parts of your body are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.

A good example is when you’re both sitting down, and your thighs barely touch each other.

This kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of suspense and attraction. It’s the best feeling being close to someone you got a crush on.

23. He gives you more of his attention than others

The more attention he gives you, the more interested he usually is in you. Compare this to how much attention he gives to other girls also hanging out with him or in the same group as you.

For example, If you’re in a group and he seems to direct most of his attention toward you. It could be that he’s asking you lots of questions or that he’s laughing more than others at your jokes. Or just listening more intently to you.

24. He blushes when you talk or make eye-contact

He might just be shy, but he’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because he likes you. This makes him blush around you.

Social anxiety can also cause blushing. But it’s still a great sign.

25. He seems to look in your direction from far away

Guys can be a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with their eyes. And if he has sunglasses, it’s even harder to know if he’s checking you out.

So if he’s looking in your direction, especially if he does it several times, he’s probably checking you out.

26. He keeps the conversation going

What happens when there’s a pause in the conversation or if you stop talking? If he seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If he lets the conversation die out or excuses himself, he may not be that interested (unless he’s just shy).

If you have problems with the conversation dying out, check out this guide on keeping the conversation going with a guy.

27. He quickly replies when you text or message him

A quick reply is a good sign he likes you. Also, if he replies with several texts to your one text, that’s even better.

However, if he likes you, he may also delay his replies to avoid seeming needy or desperate. But as long as he replies, it’s all good. If he’s slow to reply, it could just mean he’s busy, or he doesn’t like texting, so don’t read too much into it.

28. He texts or calls first

Is he the one initiating contact, or are you? If he is, that probably means he’s interested in you.

But if he never calls or texts first, that shows a lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if he will take initiative. If you’re always so quick to take initiative, he might never even have a chance to do it first.

29. He texts you often

Compare this to how often you text him. He’s eager if he’s texting more often than you, and you’re more eager if you’re the one texting more often. If he’s sending you several texts in a row without a reply, it’s a stronger sign.

30. He becomes awkward in a conversation with you

Does he stammer, stutter, or otherwise become awkward with you? This could mean that he feels shy or self-conscious around you. When a guy likes you, it’s common that he gets a bit extra flustered when talking to you. That’s because he gets uncomfortable and doesn’t want to mess up in front of you. It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?

31. He doesn’t back off if you get a bit too close

If he doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to his personal space, that’s a sign he wants you close to him.

If you take a step closer, and he backs off by a step, that’s a sign he’s a bit more reserved toward you.

32. He talks about things he wants to do with you

Planning or mentioning things he wants to do with you in the future strongly indicates some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.

Example: If you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant, they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”

33. He’s happy to discover you have something in common

If he’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, such as you living in the same part of town, being the same age, or you both like pizza. For more tips, check out this guide on how to talk to a guy you like.

Example: You discover that you both grew up in the same city, and he gets really excited about it even if it’s no big deal.

34. He asks you personal questions

Personal questions are telling you that he wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more he asks, the better.

Example: Asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or your favorite food.

35. He asks you about your plans

Asking about your plans for the day or weekend might just be empty small talk, but it could also be him trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if he brings it up near the end of the conversation.

36. He tries to make you jealous

This is a strong sign he’s interested in you. But it’s also a sign he’s emotionally immature and manipulative. I would avoid someone acting like that. You deserve to be treated with respect.

37. He’s told his family about you

This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I think it’s worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if he’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.

If he’s told his family, it means he is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!

38. He stays to talk with you even though his friends have left

This is a big tell. If you’re in some sort of group conversation with him and his friends, and all his friends leave, but he stays – he’s probably into you. It still might not be a romantic interest if you just have a great conversation and have lots in common.

An example could be when you’re at a party, and all his friends leave to get a bite to eat, but he stays with you.

How can you tell if a coworker likes you?

At work, It can be hard to tell if a coworker is flirting with you or just being friendly. Usually, guys play it safer at work because he doesn’t want to create any awkward situations if he would be rejected. So, he might be probing to see if you like him before he gives you any clear signs of interest.

Six ways to tell if a coworker likes you:

  1. He comes over to talk with you as often as possible
  2. He often teases you
  3. It seems like he’s flirting, but you’re not really sure
  4. He tries to hang out near you when possible
  5. He tries to be funny when he’s near you
  6. He’s eager to do any work tasks where you work together
  7. He goes above and beyond to help you out at work
  8. He gets weird or stiff when he’s near you, but he’s normal with everyone else

How do you know if your best friend likes you?

Here are seven signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend:

  1. He’s acting differently from how he usually behaves
  2. He seems jealous or dismissive of other guys you might like
  3. He’s suddenly extra touchy-feely
  4. He seems unusually interested in your interests
  5. He seems extra needy
  6. He’s told you he has feelings for you

If you’re still unsure, let me know about your situation in the comments below, and I’ll do my best to help.

How do you know for sure if a guy friend is interested?

You can’t know for sure if a cute guy is interested based on a sign on this list. But there are a few questions you can ask yourself:

  1. Is he regularly showing you signs of interest?
  2. Does he act differently to others than to you? (So he’s not just flirty with everyone.)
  3. Has he shown any particularly strong signs of interest?
  4. Can you see any patterns in his behavior toward you?

Are you still unsure if he likes you?

Write down your situation in the comments below in as much detail as possible. That way, others can help you out by giving their opinion. I also expect you to help someone else by replying to their comment. We need to all pitch in and help each other.

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages SocialSelf’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. So I have a question. I like this guy and we have gone to hs for 3 years together. This is the 4th. We never really talked and barely knew each other. I never had him on social media either. I saw him at a party this summer and spent like 40 minutes talking to him and his friend (who has/had a huge crush on me… I’m not sure if he’s over it). I added him on snap and now we talk a lot on that. We don’t see each other in school or outside school so we only talk online. If I do see him in the halls he says hi, and sometimes even gives me a friend shoulder bump or something. I really have no idea what to think. Please help. Thanks!!

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  2. Hi I have a question, I have a guy at work I like. He gives off many mixed signals. He is sometimes super flirty and consistent then is quiet on some days. But when he said bye to me one day he kicked me in the leg like a little tap as a joke. When he fixes his hair he tries to make it messy on purpose then says how does it look? Then he doesn’t text me but when I text him we text for two days. It seems sometimes he might be shy and I am not sure. He makes fun of me a lot but always comes to get gloves near my position where I work but he has gloves the same size on his side. At the same time he likes all my posts and sees my stories. He answered one of my stories when I said “ask me anything”. He then replied with “what if I don’t wanna?” Is he being flirty and I am unsure if he likes me. So many people tell me he’s so hard to read

    Reply
  3. He is in most of my classes but we aren’t aloud to sit together in any of them because we are always talking, he sits a couple rows ahead of me and will look back at me and smile or we are very competitive and so even though we are juniors if we have to play like a kahoot in class if he beats me he’ll look back at me and kind of “gloat” but in a nice way with this look that he won, I remember one time we were sitting at lunch and I brought up a funny comedian and he came to school the next day and would not stop talking about this comedian he would even repeat some of the jokes from this comedian to make me laugh, when we would run out of things to talk about he would look through his phone and show me random apps or pictures of his little brother or pets or something, the only weird thing is that when we would have been talking for a while he would be so interested in the conversation and then next thing you know he would break eye contact and be like but I’m not paying attention to anything your saying just FYI, so I’m getting really mixed signals. I’m really confused.

    Reply
    • oh and this other time I was talking to this guy from my spanish class after school and he walked out of the building and saw me with the other guy and just hung around for a bit watching us it was really weird he almost seemed jealous, another time i was standing outside of class waiting for the teacher to let me in because i was a little early and he was in the class next to me so he stood there and we talked for a bit but then his friend showed up and his friend was looking at me while they were talking and he looked sort of uncomfortable but they were practically whispering i could hardly hear anything they said.

      Reply
      • Another important detail, we were talking the other day about something stupid my brother did and somehow got on the topic of dating and I told him that my mom said i wasnt old enough to date even though we are juniors and then his interest peaked and he started asking questions like oh how old do you have to be to date and stuff like that

  4. The guy that is showing me interest sits next to me in church, and prayer group. sometimes he speaks to me, but otherwise he is just quiet? then after church he goes a talks to our pastor, then he talks to a couple people, then he leaves. Its like he is leaving it up to me to make the first move.

    Reply
  5. I have a best friend, I’ve known him since I was 9 months old and met him the day he was born. I don’t remember meeting him, but I remember him always being around and being the one person who I can trust anything with. Two years ago I had a crush on him. I don’t know how I got the courage but I told him, he said he liked me back. Before we could talk react we had to go somewhere and didn’t have time to talk about it. I mean I could’ve texted him, but I get so much anxiety from texting people since I feel like I’m bothering them. I tried to bring it up multiple times, but whenever I tried we always got interrupted and could never be alone. After a year I gave up trying. Even if we did get together it would make things weird with our families. I probably wouldn’t be able to go over as much. He also has a younger brother who I wouldn’t want to feel uncomfortable around me if I did date his older brother. However no matter how hard I try these stupid feelings won’t go away. Now for the past couple of months he’s been acting different. He stutters, but now he really only stutters around me. He “accidentally” touches his knee with my knee. He puts his head on my shoulder, granted he’s been doing that for the past year. I don’t know what to think! I’m scared and confused. It would be one thing if I didn’t know him my whole life. I don’t know a world without him. It would be another thing if our whole families weren’t so close. What if we break up? This messes everything up for everyone, not just us. I feel all of this weight on my shoulders and I’m afraid of dropping it since it may just make everything worse. I don’t know if I should him tell or not. I don’t how to tell him. He liked me once, but things could change in two years. I see the signs, but I guess I’m just scared. I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
  6. A guy at work has shown some of these signs. He worked in another building on my work campus, and with COVID it’s been weird since I work from home 2/3 of the time. He used to help me out and meet me in the parking lot if I needed something from his building (we had a COVID scare, so that was a solution to avoid inter building contamination). Once that scare eased up, he would still stand close to me and hold eye contact for a while, and once about a month ago he tried to make me laugh and elbowed me playfully. Obvious flirting, right? Cool. Fast forward a couple weeks ago, he got a promotion and works in my building now but on the other side of the building. He has a break room on that side of the building but he chooses to eat lunch every day in the one right next to my dept. Before the promotion, he would sometimes ask me for things he needed and sometimes would ask me questions even for things he didn’t really need, so I took it as an excuse to talk to me. He’d be helpful and do little favors for me that he didn’t have to do. After the promotion, that happened a couple times, but its far less now, and he’s suddenly become really quiet around me. I’m in IT and he’s a manager in maintenance and I’ve sometimes felt he got flustered when he perceived a difference in intelligence and I’ve thought maybe he just stays quiet out of nerves. But I’ve also noticed that he seems a bit more stressed, which makes sense with the promotion, but I can’t tell if he’s less interested, or if the stress is causing him to pull away, or if he’s more conscious of the position he’s in and doesn’t want to risk anything. There’s no anti relationship rules in our company, and I figure maybe some more time will probably answer that, but I dont know how to interpret his new demeanor.

    Reply
  7. There’s a guy in my class always teasing me and trying to get my attention. He pays attention to what I do outside class, and remember small details about me. He never talk to me outside class or follow me on social medias. Actually, he even avoid making eye contacts with me on purpose since we started to talk and he admitted it. He acts and speaks like he hates me although his friends said it was a joke. As a return, I’m also mean to him and act like I don’t care about him. However, I’m pretty sure we do enjoy spending time together. He’s that kind of person that wants to play things cool, but he bursts into laughter when he annoys me and I punch him lightly. I can’t tell if he’s shy or just not into me. He’s not very popular among the girls, I only see him talking to one of them (except me) twice. I want to ask him out for the X’mas ball next month, should I make a move?

    Reply
  8. there is a guy I like we always make eye contact but once i was walking pass him and I made eye contact and I smiled at him however he did not smile back but he made eye contact what does this mean

    Reply
    • does he do that to everyone? some guys just like staring at people when they are day dreaming, but you should talk to him if you like him

      Reply
  9. There is this guy that I like but I’m not sure he does. He is kind of like my boss so I know nothing is going to happen there. He tries to make me laugh when he talks to me but he also does that with other people. He teases me a lot especially when doing tasks and he always checks whether I’m smiling but he always whispers Im joking. I see him interact with others in the same way. I dont know if it is just me

    Reply
  10. I met this guy on a dating app and we soon moved to talk on Snapchat. We’ve know each other about two weeks now, and he’s mostly initiated the conversation, and just last night he asked me if I missed him because he didn’t text back for a while. I said I did a little, twice when I found out he was unsure, and I asked him if he missed me, and he said why would I miss somebody who didn’t miss me? I kinda feel like he was playing it off but I’m not exactly sure.

    Reply
  11. So.. I’ve been hanging out with this guy and every time we’ve hung out, it’s been great. I just got back from hanging out with him and he was giving good signs but I don’t know for sure. He sucks at texting, but when we’re together, he’s the sweetest. He always wants to be touching me or holding me, we have conversations and not just pillowtalk, I’ll catch him looking at me and smiling, he’ll sneak in quick kisses or forehead kisses. When we were hanging out today, he was kind of being a flirty teasing and I went to go turn around but he pulled me right back towards him. He also sang a Luke Combs sign to me while I was sitting on his lap, looking at me and smiling, and I swearrrrrrr I was in love. I just don’t know what to think, he does literally all the things on this list but I’m still second guessing myself! Help!

    Reply
  12. Ok so a few months ago a guy from my class kept sending me yolks (anonymous messages) on my snap story. I knew it was him bc I put him in a private story and he was sending me messages like “who do you like?” “There are so many boys that r good to like why don’t you like anyone?” “If I had ten thousand dollars I would spend it all buying photos of u” Then, my friend told me she had a crush on him. We went into online school, and then went back to school. My friend told me that she asked him out, he said yes, but two hours later she broke up with him. Then we went back to online school and he always kept replying to my story’s and texting me whenever he got the chance. Now we are back at school and I’m not sure if he likes me, but two of my friends have admitted they like him. One is best friends w him, and the other is his “ex”. I don’t know what to do- he did say he liked someone but I’m not sure who it is. If u need more details I’ll tell u.
    -please help me xx

    Reply
    • Girl from what I read I think he does but you can see does he do those things with other girls too or just you? Because we always have to be careful. Don’t be scared !! It’s ok! God bless you in Jesus name Amen.✝️

      Reply
  13. Recently, this guy in one of my classes has started to show signs of attraction (staring, getting nervous etc) and they are pretty regular. He was new to my school and one time when I was getting onto the bus, he straight away moved his bag, I’m guessing for me to sit next to him. Anyway, as i did not know who he was, I just ignored him, thinking it was a coincidence. Also, he’s very outgoing and confident with everyone. Everyone except me. As soon as I walk into the room, he goes quite and acts strangely. Is it a sign of attraction or a sign suggesting that he does not like me? Another thing too, his friends always seem to make fun of him around me and I’m pretty sure I overheard them trying to convince him to ask me out during class.
    I hope someone can help!! ????????

    Reply
    • Apparently he’s nervous, I think you can give him chances to talk to you alone, ask him about his weekend plans, see if he will ask you out. Make eye contacts with him, look away and smile.

      Reply
  14. Hello..actually I have a crush on someone I just can’t be with..he is quite older..but you know how it is..I thought about every possible way I can be with him. Sometimes I understand that it’s just a matter of time and things will get better over time, that I will forget him. But sometimes I think that he is veryyy sweet. And after reading this, I seriously feel that he also feels someting. But what if he have some bad intensions? But I think I want to be with him. Also, I will not see him again..What the hell should I do?

    Reply
    • hi your story is very similar to mine what i can advice you is that you should find out if he already has a girlfriend before making any moves.cause my crush was showing me he likes me then later i found out he’s taken.If your guy is free go for it besides, you’ll never find out unless you ask if he’s not free then don’t steal him it wouldn’t be fair

      Reply
      • But what will happen even if he is free? Do you think it’s a good move to think about a relationship with him?
        You know, I think, a couple days before, I saw him near my house. Part of me was..just speechless and wanted to be with him, but part of me felt that he should not have been here. Like I felt he is older and should understand..but what if he also likes me..that’s why he was here, not about any bad intensions?? Ugh. it sucks.

  15. Hi Viktor, you said you would respond to well written comments.
    I met my crush in rehab this June. We went through detox together and are currently in halfway together. It’s suggested that we avoid relationships in early recovery but…I like him a lot so I want your advice. A point to remember is that I am extremely insecure, awkward, and with the exception of my ex husband and perhaps one other, I have never had sex while not under the influence. I am bad at flirting. My crush was the first one to initiate anything; he spontaneously invited me to lunch; before that, I don’t think I even thought of him that way. Since then, we have been hanging out more, he invites me to meetings, we go on drives, I notice he’s getting more handsy, he gives me hugs whenever he sees me, leans close when we sit next to each other, he touches my thigh frequently, basically all signs that he’s into me. I don’t pull away, I think I reciprocate; but he hasn’t made a further move. I did not know if he’s just a really nice and sweet guy guy who wants a to be my friend, or if he wants more, or maybe he’s worried taking things further might jeopardize one or both if our recovery’s. How do we signal I’m open to get down? I’m so nervous as I’m not really experienced with sober sex. I don’t know if I should give up on the idea of “us” and just move it n. Please help.

    Reply
    • He wants more, 100%, but if he wants a relationship or something more casual is impossible to say. But since you are both in early recovery, I suggest you keep taking it VERY slow and avoid the relationship until you’re both more stable as your recovery center suggested. Relationships can get messy, and dealing both with that and your recovery can become overwhelming.

      Wishing you the best!

      Reply
  16. Hi,

    I really liked your article thanks for that. I am really confused about my best friend. We always had an amazing connection, and most people thought we were dating but we never were, we were always just friends. Until he had to change due to his current girlfriend as she was super jealous about our friendship and he ended up treating me badly. Anyway we fixed that now and getting back to our friendship.

    We do hug a lot and talk about a lot of personal things but that was always natural to us. One thing I noticed though is that every time I mention another guy he just doesn’t want to talk about it. Although with one of the guys he said go for it and the conversation stops there.

    What do you think please? I know it’s a bit complicated situation.

    Thanks very much!

    Reply
  17. There’s this guy I like in class,He teases me often and sometimes sings or say sweet words to me,he stare at me often when in group conversation and smile. He tries to ignore me at times and seems to be jealous other guys around me.He remember a bet we did three years ago and talk about it with his friends.

    Reply
  18. Hi, so i recently met this boy while volunteering at a shelter. I have a crush on him but I’m not sure if he feels the same way. He has shown quite a few of these signs such as mimicking some of my actions, staring at me from a distance, asking about my future plans, asking multiple times when i’ll be back at the shelter, kind of holds stares and fidgets quite a bit. I’m worried that if i say that i like him that he’ll say that he sees us just as friends especially considering i’ve only met him last week. He is also kind of leaving mixed signals and I have never really thought that a guy has liked me so it’s confusing. I wonder if he’s just being friendly.

    Please help me!

    Thank you.

    Reply
    • niaje which is kenyan slang for hi.ok so you’ve only known him for a week which means its just a premature crush my thaughts is that you should try to get to know him better you’ll be surprised you do not even like him but if you really like him and you mave a feeling he likes you then open that opportunistic door before its to late

      Reply
  19. So, he is my coworker. He is 50 and I am 23, I know the age gap is huge but I have been noticing him acting different around me. One day him and another female coworker was talking about what kind of women he was into and she said “a tall long legged blonde?” And he said no I’m more into short brunettes, he basically described me to a T but I didnt think anything of it then. Well a few weeks after that he noticed me talking to another male coworker, and he confronted me about it! He said it’s nice to see you jumped on his bandwagon. I was very confused and said we were only talking, then I just looked at him and said “if I didn’t know any better I would say you are jealous” he didnt deny it nor confirm it, but he changed the subject and started teasing me about a guy who he thought liked me. I am just getting a lot of mixed signals and I really want to know if he likes me because I honestly think I like him too, any advice?

    Reply
  20. So, he is my English course teacher, 25, and I’m 20. I think age gap doesn’t make any problem. However, the thing is he’s very friendly, outgoing but at the same time he’s very secretive and insecure person, and I’m the one who admired and started liking him. The class is over, but how can I leave him, you know, that’s why I kept starting messages that usually related to grammar stuffs and bla2. But, sometimes, I feel like he gives me hint that he’s interested in me, like telling me that “it would be great if we camp together and talked some philosophic talk and horror stories together” “I miss youuu” “we can do speaking class if you like because my speaking becoming worse..” But what if I made wrong assumption? I don’t wanna get rejected and become awkward to each other, I prefer stay friendly each other, of course! It’s troublesome.. >.<

    Reply
  21. So I have a really large friend group and most are in my homeroom right? There are these two guys we usually talk to, let’s say one is Jacob(tall one) and the other is Zack(short one). So basically he stole my friend’s seat next to the corner which happens to be next to mine and he’s always really nice. This year he started doing this thing where he’d make me flinch and saying that he was ‘training’ me for later. Recently I noticed that even when I’m with my friends he always calls out to me to ask for something and there’s definitely a lot of teasing. I also found out that most of my friends ship me with him and that I’m a dense idiot for not knowing that, so I wanna know does he ‘like’ me or not? I’m super confused.

    Reply
    • first it was rude of him to steal the seat but a good sign he wants to be close to you and the teasing is also a good sign the chances are that he likes but waiting fir you to make the move

      Reply
  22. I supervise trustees. I have one that 43 and im 61. He always is touching the small of my back and arms. He
    has asked me to friend him on facebook. Is he intrested in me?

    Reply
  23. I made friends with a guy that works at a restaurant I go to. I asked hos name and told him mine. Everytime I used to go in and it was just him working he would always engage with taking about something. He has mentioned small things like a childhood pet, mentioned that he didn’t know what to get his mother for mother’s day and at one point told me hos last name. He complimented my car and at one point complimented my hair style if front of his boss. He’s talked about maybe going into a different type if job. When I go in and there’s a co worker he says my name without hesitation as soon as he gives me my food or says bye to me. I like him, but I don’t want to make things awkward with maybe adding him on Facebook. I wouldn’t dare ask for his number since he’s at work. I’m a bit confused as to whether he likes me or just makes friendly small talk. I wonder if I should just send the friend request or even send him a DM on Facebook or just keep liking him without engaging?

    Reply
  24. There’s this guy at work I’ve had a crush on for a while now. It seems like we flirt back and fourth some days but I can’t be 100% certain he likes me back or he’s just a nice guy. Today another guy who is interested in me was talking to me alone and the guy I have a crush on noticed and walked over to us. Does that mean he wanted to make sure he was noticed??

    Reply
  25. A nice looking, shy at first, delivery man comes to our office. He does stare, he is younger than I am but i def don’t look 15 yrs his senior. I’m slim good skin, good upbeat attitude. He has not asked for my number and I have never chased. 1. Is it possible his company forbids this in FedEx/UPS? 2. At what point to I stop flirting and accept he may not ask. Ty!

    Reply
  26. I joined a group to get this guy to notice me a few months ago. I’m really shy and he seems like he is a bit too, when I first started I found it hard to approach him but gradually we started having little conversations about music and stuff like that. In a room I can always tell when he’s looking my way and I’m usually right, he’s pretty awkward and likes to walk about checking up with people. Whenever he stops at me I think that there’s some kind of tension, he seems nervous. One day he complimented me on my music, which honestly no guy had ever done before so I was happy. He liked the song I was singing and he plays it a sometimes when I’m around. Yesterday I almost hurt myself in front of him and he text me to check up on me, he told me that when he played the song at group that day thinking about my singing. I was pretty chuffed I’m ngl. We started talking about bands for awhile but then the next day he never replied. That’s not unusual for him but it confused me a bit, I was sad. He doesn’t text anyone else in the group apart from me as far as I know, I don’t want to get my hopes up like I have in the past. I think he has some kind of interest in me but I’m not sure how far it goes because it seems like he won’t act on it.

    Reply
  27. Hi, I’ve liked this guy for a few years! This year I decided to try to make myself known to him so I joined a group he’s involved in! I see him usually once a week and straight off the bat I think he treated me differently to how he treated other girls in the group. He added my accounts on Instagram, text me about how he enjoyed my music, was shy and awkward around me. I didn’t want to push anything because of his obvious shyness so I kept attending for the past few months! (He’s always looking down and scratching his head when we talk). Yesterday he started talking to me over text about bands I like but today he’s left my messages on read which isn’t unusual for him but I’m always confused. Irl he makes small talk but somehow I always know when he’s looking at me when he thinks I’m busy and I’m always right. I know I’m probably getting my hopes up but I get the feeling he at least has some interest in me. Help a girl out? x

    Reply
    • I’m no expert,Sarah,but from what you’ve said,I think it just might be possible that he does have some interest……but don’t jump to conclusions…

      Reply
  28. Hi,
    I am 7 years older than my guy colleague. I am separated and he is single.
    When I was new (5+ years ago), I was surprised when I found out that he knew my name as he always say hello (+ my name) whenever he sees me in the pantry. Then 1 day, while I was talking to another colleague in the pantry about my weekend, he suddenly butted in and was chatting with me (even after my other colleague left) about my hobby. He also recommended a book (I like reading) and said I should try reading it and we can chat about it next time. He then added me on Facebook.. He asked for my number.. He asked me to go out for coffee one day because he wanted to talk to me about a problem he was having (about his teammates at work – we work in different teams). After that day, he regularly asked me out to eat lunch with him (alone) outside the office.. It went on for a month. He also waited for a cab with me when I am going home and kissed me on my cheeks a few times. He also shared his food with me or got food from his team’s celebration to give me.
    One day, he suddenly said he has a love interest and the girl likes him back. I was surprised and kept my distance after that. He still tried (again and again.. And again) to invite me for lunch or to talk.. Up to the point that he begged that I give him 15 minutes to talk about work.. I gave him 5 minutes and he took it.
    After months of blocking him off, I started accommodating him again but not like before. We do eat out but not as often, we talk and chat but not as often.
    Then, he started being close to my friends and sister (I am working with my sister) and even bought food for my whole team (even if he is from another team) a few times. He also invites me to travel with him (and his friends – whom he said he will invite but never did). When his friends (whom he introduced to me before) invites him to meet up, he asks me to go with him. If I decline, he doesn’t push through with the planned trip or meetups anymore.
    Our friends at work often teases and pairs us together. He never ever got angry being paired with me and seems to like it? I told him multiple times that he should just tell them the truth (that he doesn’t like me) but he never does. Whenever our colleagues ask him if he likes me, he always just giggle.
    Recently, we started a work project together and when he learned that I might be taken out of the project soon, he said “No.. I want you! I want you” (pause…) “I want you in the project…”. When he found out that I was thinking of leaving the company, he told me I shouldn’t and he enumerated the pros of staying.. Then he said “Don’t leave the company… (Frustrated sigh) This is making my head hurt…”.
    He often calls me during shift even if he is working. We talk for hours (average of 3) while working.. If not, he calls me after work.. Again.. Average of 3 hours.. Sometimes 4.
    My friends at work keeps on saying that this guy likes me.. But he may be hesitating because he is worried that I will reject him and lose me. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s true but hoping it is. Is there a chance he truly likes me more than a friend? If so, how do I encourage him to make a move?

    Thank you,
    Andrea

    Reply
  29. I get on well with my neighbour. Not to the point we hang out but we usually have good conversations when we bump into each other. A couple of times he has mentioned some girl he’s seeing but always seems to be unsure of them and will say things like “guess I’ll see how it goes” when he talks to me he has the most intense stare and looks really deep into my eyes. Not in a creepy way though lol. Without prying he seems to talk about his relationship issues too. Do you think he’s just being friendly or there could be more to it.

    Reply
  30. So I’d say my guy friend has been quite flirty lately, (always calling me beautiful/ pretty/ sexy etc.) saying that he wishes I was at *insert name here* event and (he’s not from my country) suggested (in a jokey tone) that I marry him so that he can get a passport and when he explained how people change their names in his country when they get married and he used if I had married him as an example. Like to me, he seems to be laying it on pretty thick and even today when we were chatting, we were laughing with each other saying that we loved each other and blowing kisses etc. He’s also recently started to introduce me to his other friends as well. As well as matching messages and calling me first sometimes.

    But he also talks about other girls with me? Like he tells me about girls who have been flirting with him and girls that he has met in a club and flirted with for a bit in the past.

    What do you think?

    Reply
    • Wow Alison, I don’t know. I think he does have feelings for you, and is talking about the other girls he knows and flirts with to see if you’re jealous. He may be fishing for a jealousy to make sure you like him back before making a move, or he could be trying to show you he likes you so that you can make the first move. I say If you like him that way, there’s not a bad chance he likes you back. Make a move!

      Reply

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