How to tell if a guy likes you: 43 signs he has a crush on you

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How do you know if a guy likes you?

My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve been working as a dating coach for over 8 years helping both men and women understand the signs we give when we like someone.

Here are the 43 best signs to help you tell if a guy has a crush on you or not.

1. Does he ever stare at you?

You probably know how hard it is to NOT look at someone you like. Prolonged eye contact without talking is a big tell that a guy likes you.

But to be fair, it’s common that guys stare at any girl they find attractive. And it’s an easy way for him to show his interest without having to approach you. But who knows, he might even have a secret crush on you?

2. Is he mirroring you?

Mirroring means that his body language, posture, or even what he’s saying reflects what you said or did.

Examples of mirroring:

  • When you take a sip of your glass, he also takes a sip of his glass
  • When you cross your legs, he crosses his legs
  • When you get very animated/passionate in a conversation, he also gets animated
  • When you lean in, he also leans in
  • When you laugh, he laughs

Note that mirroring is done subconsciously when he has a good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if he really wants to impress you or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.

3. Has he added you on social media (like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, or WhatsApp) after you met?

Adding you on social media means that he wants to keep contact with you and might be a bit interested in you. This is also good because now you can more easily start a conversation with him online.

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4. How long are his texts or messages compared to yours?

If his texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.

If he usually gives short answers compared to you, that’s a bad sign. When you’re giving him long replies, but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager.

In that case, it’s good to step back a bit and try to match him better.

5. Is he teasing you?

Most forms of teasing (even mean teasing) are usually a sign he’s interested in you. It means he’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that he wants a reaction from you.

Have fun with it and don’t be afraid to tease him back! 😉

6. Is he doing the “lean in”?

If he’s leaning in toward you, that shows he wants to get closer to you (or he’s really passionate about what he’s saying). When a guy has a crush on you, it can feel like he’s magnetically drawn to you.

7. Is he getting “too close” to you compared to what is normal?

If you’re in a conversation and you feel like he’s edging closer to you, or as if he’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. He may be attracted to you and wants to feel closer to you both physically and mentally.

Note that different cultures have different “personal spaces”. So, if he’s from a different culture than you, see how close he gets to others to see if it’s just you or everyone.

8. Has he ever offered you a massage?

This is one of the more obvious tells that a guy likes you. Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a guy to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer him one back if you like him!)

9. Is he smiling toward you?

If he’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach him. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home.)

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If he’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign he likes you. Especially if he has a light smile while you’re not even joking.

10. Is he giving you mixed signals?

Mixed signals are really tricky to interpret and can make anyone confused. But in most cases, they do mean he’s interested in you. Here are the most common reasons why he’s giving you mixed and confusing signals.

9 Reasons why he’s giving you mixed signals:

  1. He doesn’t want to come off as too eager
  2. He’s shy
  3. He’s nervous and insecure
  4. He’s afraid of seeming desperate
  5. He’s afraid you’ll reject him
  6. He’s inexperienced in flirting
  7. He’s following some weird rules or pick-up tips he’s read
  8. He’s just flirting with you (because flirting is all about giving mixed signals)
  9. He likes the attention or validation he gets from you but isn’t really interested in you

If you need help, explain your situation in as much detail as possible in the comments. I’ll reply to well-written comments and help you interpret the signs.

11. Does he give you any compliments?

Getting a compliment from a guy in your age is a good sign. If he’s giving you compliments about how pretty you are, it’s an even better sign.

It can be hard to tell a friendly compliment from a romantic one because they can sound exactly the same. To know for sure, look for other signs he’s also giving you or describe your situation in the comments below.

12. How large are his pupils when you two are talking?

If his pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.

13. Is he holding eye contact with you for “too long”?

When a guy has a crush on you, it can be so hard for him to keep his eyes off of you. You can notice this if he’s holding eye contact with you slightly too long.

It can almost feel a little weird or intense when it happens. And that’s great (if you like him).

Click here if you want to learn how to improve your eye contact.

14. Is he giving you a slight smile when you get eye contact?

If you’re standing in a group, and when someone else is talking, you two get eye contact. Does he give you a slight smile?

Same thing if you get eye contact at a distance, in a park, or at a bar. A smile is an invitation to start talking. He’s interested!

15. If there’s background music, what’s his body language and what is he looking at?

This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example at a bar or a club.

If he’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign he’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you he wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.

16. Does he straighten his posture when he is close to you?

Is he straightening his back and standing up more straight? It means he’s a bit self-conscious when hanging out near you and he wants to make a good impression.

Not that strong of a sign because most single guys want to make a good impression on attractive girls. But if you see it together with many other signs, it means more.

17. What direction is he facing in group situations?

If he’s facing you more often than he’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign he’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not the one talking the most in the group.

18. Where are his feet pointing?

If his feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if his body is facing you. He’s subconsciously focused on you which makes his feet point toward you.

19. Is he fiddling with or straightening his clothes or accessories?

This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because he wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.

20. What direction are his palms facing?

If the palms of his hands are pointed in your direction that signals he might be interested in you. It’s a small sign, but it’s still positive because it’s part of an open and welcoming body language he has toward you.

21. If you touch him, does he touch you back?

For example, if you touch his arm, does he touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If he does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign.

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If he’s shy or inexperienced, he might not feel comfortable touching you back even if he has a crush on you.

22. Is he extra touchy with you?

A good tell he likes you is if he’s touching you unusually much compared to others.

Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if he touches those.

23. Do you ever have “peripheral physical contact”?

Peripheral physical contact is when some part of your bodies are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.

Example: If you’re both sitting down and your thighs are barely touching each other. Or if you’re walking side by side and he grabs hold of your arm.

This kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of suspense and attraction. It’s the best feeling being close to someone you got a crush on.

24. Is he giving you more of his attention than he’s giving others?

The more attention he gives you, the more interested he usually is in you. Compare this to how much attention he gives to other girls also hanging out with him or in the same group as you.

Example: If you’re in a group but he seems to direct most of his attention toward you. It could be that he’s asking you lots of questions or that he’s laughing more than others at your jokes. Or just listening more intently to you.

25. Does he ever blush when you talk or get eye-contact?

He might just be shy, but he’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because he likes you. This makes him blush around you.

Social anxiety can also cause blushing. But it’s still a great sign.

26. Does he seem to look in your direction from far away?

Guys can be a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with his eyes. And if he has sunglasses it’s even harder to know if he’s checking you out.

So if he’s looking in your direction, especially if he does it several times, he’s probably checking you out.

27. Does he keep the conversation going when you stop talking?

What happens when there’s a pause in the conversation or if you stop talking? If he seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If he lets the conversation die out or excuses himself, he may not be that interested (unless he’s just shy).

28. How quickly does he reply when you text or message him?

A quick reply is a good sign he likes you. Also, if he replies with several texts to your one text, that’s even better.

However, if he likes you, he may also delay his replies to avoid seeming needy or desperate. But as long as he replies, it’s all good. If he’s slow to reply, it could just mean he’s busy or he doesn’t like texting, so don’t read too much into it.

29. Who texts or calls first?

Is he the one initiating contact or are you? If he is, that probably means he’s interested in you.

But if he never calls or texts first, that’s a sign of lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if he will take initiative. If you’re always so quick to take initiative, he might never even have a chance to do it first.

30. How often does he text you?

Compare this to how often you text him. He’s eager if he’s texting more often than you, and you’re more eager if you’re the one texting more often. If he’s sending you several texts in a row without a reply it’s a stronger sign.

31. Does he stammer, stutter, or become awkward in a conversation with you?

This could mean that he feels shy or self-conscious around you. When a guy likes you, it’s common that he gets a bit extra awkward or stutters when talking to you. That’s because he gets uncomfortable and doesn’t want to mess up in front of you. It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?

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32. Does he back off if you get a bit too close?

If he doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to his personal space, that’s a sign he wants you close to him.

If you take a step closer, and he backs off by a step, that’s a sign he’s a bit more reserved toward you.

33. Does he ever talk about things he wants to do with you?

Planning or mentioning things he wants to do with you in the future is a very strong indication of some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.

Example: If you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant and they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”

34. How does he react when you discover you have something in common?

If he’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, like that you live in the same part of town, that you’re the same age, or that you both like pizza.

Example: You discover that you both grew up in the same city and he gets really excited about it even if it’s no big deal.

35. Is he asking you any personal questions?

If he is, that’s telling you that he wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more he asks, the better.

Example: Asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or your favorite food.

36. Has he asked you about your plans for the day or the weekend?

This might just be empty small talk, but it could also be him trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if he brings it up near the end of the conversation.

37. Is he trying to make you jealous?

This is a strong sign he’s interested in you. But it’s also a sign he’s emotionally immature and manipulative. I would avoid someone acting like that. You deserve to be treated with respect.

38. Has he told his family about you?

This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I think it’s worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if he’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.

If he’s told his family, it means he is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!

  1. Is he staying to talk with you even though his friends have left?

This is a big tell. If you’re in some sort of group conversation with him and his friends, and all his friends leave but he stays – he’s probably into you. Still might not be romantic interest if you just have a great conversation and have lots in common.

An example could be when you’re at a party, and all his friends leave to get a bite to eat, but he stays with you.

40. How can you tell if a coworker likes you?

At work, It can be hard to tell if a coworker is flirting with you or just being friendly. Usually, guys play it safer at work because he doesn’t want to create any awkward situations if he would be rejected. So, he might be probing to see if you like him before he gives you any clear signs of interest.

6 ways to tell if a coworker likes you:

  1. He comes over to talk with you as often as possible
  2. He often teases you
  3. It seems likes he’s flirting, but you’re not really sure
  4. He tries to hang out near you when possible
  5. He tries to be funny when he’s near you
  6. He’s eager to do any work tasks where you work together
  7. He goes above and beyond to help you out at work
  8. He gets weird or stiff when he’s near you, but he’s normal with everyone else

I think this is super interesting, so if you have a work-related situation, write it down in the comments. I will 100% give you a reply and help you interpret the signs.

41. How do you know if your best friend likes you?

Here are 7 signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend:

  1. Is he acting differently from how he usually behaves?
  2. Does he seem jealous or dismissive of other guys you might like?
  3. Is he suddenly extra touchy-feely?
  4. Is he unusually interested in your interests?
  5. Has his behavior toward you changed recently?
  6. Does he seem extra needy?
  7. Has he told you he has feelings for you?

If you’re still unsure, let me know about your situation in the comments below and I’ll do my best to help.

42. How do you know for sure if a guy friend is interested?

You can’t really know for sure if a cute guy is interested just based off of a sign in this list. But there are a few rules you can use to help you know:

  1. Is he regularly showing you signs of interest?
  2. Does he act differently to others than to you? (So he’s not just flirty with everyone.)
  3. Has he shown any particularly strong signs of interest?
  4. Can you see any patterns in his behavior toward you?

43. Are you still unsure if he likes you?

Write down your situation in the comments below in as much detail as possible. I’ll answer the most interesting comments to help tell if the guy likes you or if he’s just being friendly/flirty/mean. I’m also hoping that you can help someone else by replying to their comment – that way everyone gets something.

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Categories Dating

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages Socialpro’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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365 thoughts on “How to tell if a guy likes you: 43 signs he has a crush on you”

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  1. My story
    Married guy his brother & single me.
    2)Got a crush on me?
    3) he hates me?
    4) its my imagination?
    5) need to be worried?
    6)Am I the game?

    *We’ve Never spoken properly.
    *He doesn’t know I no who he’s married to.
    *Married man lives in the area where I work, you will find out how I know this.
    *His brother lives in the same area I live,

    Started 1 year ago
    1st time I notice him looking, I drove past him he was with his brother they both looked directly at me, eye contact till we could not see each other.

    2nd time married man walked past my parked car he slightly bent his back & turned his head to look into my car & looked directly into my eyes no smile just a straight face expression I broke eye contact.

    3rd time both brothers where in the pub next to where I work stood outside having a smoke, as I walk to get in my car I got the feeling somone was looking I was right both of them staring at me direct eye contact, about 4-5 car lengths away even when I drove past them but I broke I contact,

    4th time married man on the other side of the road he crossed the road in front of my parked car & his head turned towards me looking directly at me eye contact but I broke eye contact looked down. No smile straight facial expression.

    5th time he went to the fish & chip shop next to where I work I was sat in my car, he went in ordered his food & came straight back out & faced my car all his body was facing towards my car he stood there looking directly at me & when I looked up he looked straight into my eyes I felt uncomfortable & looked away he didn’t smile his face didn’t change I drove off.

    6th time I went to a pet shop about 7miles away as I was leaving someone held the door for me when I looked up to say thank you it was the married man he didn’t look shocked that it was me & he replied its alright I got in my car didn’t look back & went.

    8th time his brother ordered food from where I work I took it he was smiling & looked me in the eyes. bare in mind he’s never ordered food from there while I’ve worked there in the 8 years till now.

    9th time married man with his dog walked past my parked car me inside he looked at me then looked away.

    10th time married man ordered food from my place of work I obviously didn’t know it was him till I got there & on the ticket was a womans name, he answered the door body facing me he kept his head down would not look at me he said in a quiet voice you alright I said yes thank you are you? He said yeah yeah good thanks in a quiet shy voice still not looking at me. The 11th time is linked to this one.

    11th time his brother then ordered food half hour later I took it, when I approached the door he made me jump he was already opening his door he started to laugh so did I because he made me jump he said I already saw you coming I said thank you bye that was that.

    12th time married man now keeps driving past me when I’m at work & when his car is in line with mine he always looks directly into my eyes sometimes he twist his neck to hold eye contact.

    There is other times but at the moment it’s mostly the married man driving past getting a look at me sometimes I notice & other times I’ve just noticed when he’s already gone past.

    To let everyone know who’s reading this I would never go with a married man NEVER!
    I just want to know what others think & do I need to be worried in anyway

  2. Hi! I’ve been working at this health food store for nearly 3 years during college, and a year after of working there a friend of mine made me notice a customer. After a while I was intrigued, but Never got my hopes high. A few weeks later, he noticed me. Always looking deeply into my eyes and gazing at me. Even from far way. I picked up that he was a confident Person and “different”( I sense it from his aura). I was so intimidated that I would either ignore him, “run” away, or give him a neutral look. Anyway a few months later after this game, i decided to be more inviting and warm, because I was genuinely interested. I guess he was pretty happy that I changed my behaviour and a couple weeks later he made the first move.
    Ever since then, we said hi and asked how we were doing. He is very attentive. A few months later he opened up more and told me about his job and what not. I did the same and revealed my projects, goals and studies. He got very interested to the point of asking me personal questions like my age. He even noticed a talent of mine and kept asking questions about this topic and got really intrigued.
    My point here is that I feel like he is interested in me (and vice versa), but I’m not 100% sure…
    We’ve known each other for nearly a year and a half and nothing “happens”. Last week was my last day of working at my last job and we spoke to each other. I told him it was my last day, that it was a pleasure to meet and know him. After he suggested to “keep in touch”(on social media) but he doesn’t go on it very often. I thought it was a good thing but I’ve not received anything from him…
    He winked at me, said I was an interesting woman, called me “Chiquita Bonita” (beautiful young woman), he even looked out of his car when I was in his sight And when we were talking to each other, he was standing very close to me and even leaning towards me. He did a lot of the things that you’ve mentioned above but again, I get mixed signals and I’m just confused… thanks for reading and sorry that It is sooo long. Have a nice day!

  3. Hi I’m a student, these this guy in my class we’re doing the same course, same modules and we’re in the same class for practical. I like him but he doesn’t know, I’ve told my friends and they advised me to approach him no! By the way the guy talks to me, he helps me with the practical reports most of the time like we’re cool but we’re not friends just class mates. I just don’t want to give him signals and find out he’s not the, like even in the practical today we had this long eye contact, like he smiles at me and he stares at me, he’s eyes ooh so cute…

  4. Hi there. I want to know how i can trust him, we met a year ago we see each other once a month, he knows everythin anbout me, i askd him a few times why he is single then he just say he wil tel me if we see each other again but he dont talk about that that time its like he pretend i never talkd like that, at first i tink he love me but not anymore, he check my whatsapp everyday but wil greet maibe once or twice a week, if we go out we go to far places nd even hotels thats verry expensive

  5. There’s a guy I work with and this odd situation has been going on between us for over a year. I am married although I separated from my husband at the start of lockdown.

    Although we work together we’re in different departments, but the first few times we spoke he was friendly and gave me constant eye contact, which is usual for him and I am bubbly, friendly and get on with everyone so happily chatted, but I noticed we both sort of moved together so we were always facing each other as we talked which struck me as odd. He’s my “type” in every way although I didn’t think much of that to begin with.
    After that he tried to approach me to chat and I sort of avoided speaking to him. The first time I was stressed and he was giving me flirty vibes, the second I was with my little boy. He ignored me for a month or so after each time and even folded his arms, rolled his eyes, sighed and turned his head away when I ran into him one time. I just stayed friendly and would just say hi and smile at him.

    Then he seemed to start flirting/trying to get my attention. He would stare at me during meetings and hold eye contact with a little smile when I looked back. He would suddenly started appearing wherever I was in the department store we work in, he synced his breaks with mine, although he never spoke to me in the canteen. And when I came in to shop on my days off he would be nowhere to be seen when I arrived, but ALWAYS appeared at the shop door when I left (he works in the undercover security so moves around the store) even if I was with my husband and kids. He’d then watch me as I walked away. And this wasn’t just my imagination.

    My marriage has been bad for years and last year we had a lot of other problems with family sickness and my father in law dying suddenly. So I was stressed and this guy’s hot and cold behaviour was adding to it. One day I’d had enough so I went to him and apologised if I had made things awkward he said no and claimed he had no idea what I was referring to. So I then asked if he wanted to go for a coffee sometime at which point he did the arms down at the sides, palms open and facing up, shoulders shrugged and eyebrows raised and said “I have a girlfriend!” So I smiled said I was just being friendly and backed off, avoiding him from then on. Although another colleague said he’d noticed this guy watching me when I wasn’t looking.

    Then about 6 weeks later I heard he’d split up with his girlfriend and about another 6 weeks after that he starts actually talking to me. He would always approach me in work, with a wave and a smile as he came and looking over his shoulder at me as he left. we asked each other a lot of questions, we spoke about hobbies, family, our plans for the future. Neither of us mentioned partners. He would ask me what my plans were for the weekend and we chatted really easily and got on really well. Then suddenly after a few weeks, one morning I say hi and he looks at me looks away with a frown says hi and starts ignoring me again. This went on for a month. But this time I was bored with this behaviour and just glared when ever I caught him staring at me. For a while then just before lockdown he starts trying to be friendly again.

    But at this point my marriage has fallen apart and I am really stressed and unhappy. This guy learns through my friend that I am really struggling. But then we have to close the store due to covid-19 and I only bump into him a couple of times over lockdown. whenever I do he looks serious and concerned and asks me how I am doing so we have a brief chat and that’s it.

    Then last week the store reopens and the first time I see him in 13 weeks I’m in tears talking to another colleague after a call from my kids school about my little boy…it’s been a tough few months!!

    Thing is I really do like this guy but I tried not to show it too much for obvious reasons. I had to work with him last week and he looked awkward as he approached me, but again we actually get on really well and chatted comfortably but I couldn’t really flirt with him because I was too scared to show him I like him. I tried to let him know I had separated from my husband but he had briefly disappeared and didn’t hear me. But he stopped working at one point and just stared at me and as he left he was friendly and looked over his shoulder with a smile and a wave. But the next thing I know I see him on my way home from work on what looks like a date.

    I don’t know whether to keep trying to just flirt and be friendly or just quit now and move on? His behaviour has been so confusing I don’t know what’s gong on!
    Thanks for listening

  6. Hi
    I have a story to share. Last year, I went on a trip abroad with a few Kids of my school. One of these Kids, I had never met before, had crush on me, since we began school. But that time, I had a crush to another guy, that happened to be in my previous school (and somehow we kept in touch)
    And I had avoided the guy who had the crush on me for like… Long time. And in the end, I didn’t make up with the guy I liked. I learnt some things I didn’t like.
    This year, was really bad for me, because happened many bad personal things. And as the things were getting worse, that guy who used to have crush on me, told me if he wanted to hang out (friendly I thought) and I was suspicious at that time, for a while.
    A few weeks later, I realised I had crush on him, but that time, he made up with a girl, near to my region.
    But recently they broke up, and it happened to go for a walk 2 times. Specifically, the fisrt time, we were 4 people, but later we had the opportunity to talk the two of us in “whispers” (the other two, were sitting next to me) and we discussed about our past. He told me how his relationship was these months untill the broke up, and another relationship he used to have a few years ago (that time, he was looking at me, but I didn’t observe his pupils) and I told him what happened with the guy I had crush on, last year.
    The second time, it was him, I and one more common friend. While we were sitting, our common friend made that “joke” lets say, that really tortures me until now; He said that when these two were talking, him (my crush) was blushing, especially when he heard my name!
    Although my crush and I are friends, that “joke”, teased him… I mean, he didn’t say, for instance, that that thing used to happened last year. Instead, he heard it and got annoyed.
    And I have been thinking… Do I like him and actually never got over me? Even though, he had a gf?

    * I want to note that during the quarantine days in my country, we were talking through social media. And because I was chatting with his (back then) gf, she told me they weren’t talking as much as in the beginning.

    I would be really grateful, if you answer my question. I hope I made things clear ☺️

  7. A guy at work is our covid auditor and will bring snacks to workers towards the end of shift. At first he will wait or let the first person he see’s that snack is here, however; now he will come to me to let me know snack is here or if I want any. At times if he sees me he’ll wait to see if I want snack. Is this a sign of interest in me or just to befriend me? Also haven’t had an actual conversation with him before.

  8. There’s a guy at work he’s quiet when he’s around other people but he told me thank you for helping him and he held the door for me before. He seem shy but then he seem uninterested too. IDK but when I see him or walk by I feel something I can’t explain. It’s not love just a weird feeling I’m unsure of.

  9. Hi,
    I’m a married woman who has a guy crush on me,so i had an affair a few times with him, now he like just ignores me,i think he has a girlfriend now,i text him he sometimes answers me but takes a long time just to read them,but he stares at me all the time we live in the same building & when i ask him about not talking to me,he is always busy..go figure..i have asked him to tell me if I’m waiting my time with him, no answer, then out of the blue he will text me, of course only about sex & wants a picture of my u no wat lol. But i won’t do that i told him so…y cant he just tell me he has a girlfriend & i will leave him alone, i have told him that wen we first started this. I’m actually over it now,sort of but i need to stop texting him. Please can u tell me y is he acting this way, ignoring me, not answering me etc…mixed signals.

    • You should be leaving him alone anyway, your married he’s a player & you’ve been played simple, actually you’ve played each other it’s just you can’t let go & what you need to do is think more about your marriage, your stringing your partner along just so you have a security blanket not to be left alone if one don’t work out, its not fair on your partner, sorry for sounding rude but there is only one person that’s going to suffer & hasn’t done anything wrong that’s your poor partner your stopping him from being with someone who will treat him right because your not, he deserves better.

  10. I met a guy at a coffee shop, he was the barista. While taking my order he stopped and asked what my name was and that he’s been seeing me around a lot (I just moved to the area to be with siblings) Come to find out he knew my siblings that used to work at this same coffee shop.
    A few days later I went there again, saw him there (he wasn’t working that day), he smiled at me, asked how it was going. They next couple times I saw him, including outside of the coffee shop, he seemed very distant and quiet. Almost like he couldn’t care less. At this time I realized I was interested in him because of the sad feeling I got when he wouldn’t acknowledge me. One day, after he made coffee for me, I went up to ask for a lid stopper but I said his name first, then the question. Instantly, he lit right up. Became enthusiastic, was more friendly. (Even my sister, who was with me, noticed.) after this, I began to initiate more with simple Hi, how are you’s, particularly when he wasn’t working. I did this the next couple times I saw him. Then he began doing the same, saying hi first, smiling more, waving across the room etc.
    However today when I saw him making coffee again, neither one said anything, it was super slow in the shop, and I just kind of wandered while I waited for my drink. All day I was kind of struggling with whether or not i should have asked him how his day was and chatted some.
    I would like to get to know him more. I want to ask him out for coffee but I’m afraid I’m reading things wrong. More so, I’m afraid I’ll come off at forward because our church community has very interesting standards for beginning a relationship (example: it’s strongly taught the guy initiates). I wasn’t raised that way so it’s hard for me to adapt.
    I just need to know how to let him know I’m interested without being the initiator I guess. Also don’t want to come off as annoying and needy.

    • Don’t spend anymore time wondering about this just ask him, next time your chatting just casually ask him if he would like to go for a drink, we humans spend to much time over thinking & miss out you’ve got nothing to lose, it already sounds to me he’s fighting for your attention talking one min & then not talking, he’s doing that because he’s wanting you to think why is he not talking so he’s in your head & its obviously working right? So play the game be the first to make the move women shouldn’t always leave it up to the man, you can do this good luck

  11. So hey. I work at this store with a coworker and we’ve been working there for about the same time. It started off as me just knowing his name and asking him for help because he’s security but then it will get to the point where I’ll ask if he’s okay or he’ll ask if I was okay. Then one day him and another security were talking to each other and kept looking my way. That day he got the courage to come up to me and we started talking. We talked about our future and our education and things of that sort. From then on we would joke with each other and laugh. He would tease me or make me laugh and try to get me irritated but in a joking way like I bumped into him and then later we joke like if I want to fight or he wants to fight we can take it outside after work. Another time he grabbed my stuff and teased me about not getting it back. Sometimes I would catch him staring or just looking at me and I would look back and smile and look away. He came up to me and ask how to pronounce my name again but I have never told him my name but I know his, so I told him. He then later came and ask about the different boys at my school and what I do about it and I asked truthful. But I’m still confused by all of this. We do not have each other’s numbers or social and my friends told me to ask him but I don’t want to reach and aim for something that might not be there. Can you explain if he’s just being nice or flirting and crushing and trying to figure out a way to shoot his shot so I can at least help or encourage him to do so and know that I won’t reject.

  12. So I work at a hotel and there’s this guest I hung out with once and he said let’s stay friends I was like cool. Then one day out of the blue I’m not at the desk weeks had passed since we hung out but he wanted to know if I was going to work or not. More time passes and we’re in shelter in place at sundown. He tries to get food from McDonald’s or something and comes back tells me about his issue with the restraunts I tell him were in lockdown again. The very next day he does it again and I’m still at the front desk and he still doesn’t understand what lockdown means or something even though I explained it the night before. not really sure what he wants at all.

  13. Ok so I have this guy in my class who’s always staring at me. I first noticed it when we were queueing to go out of the school. I caught him staring at me, then he looked away and so did I, so he stared back and I caught him again. He also stares at me in class, when we are in the schoolyard and when we’re in sport class. Once in sport class he was listening to the conversation we were having with my friend, he was bending over to hear it. I teased him on a sport thing he was doing and he teased me back, he also teases me when I’m doing the exercise next to him. Last time I regretted it so much when I put my foot on his best friend’s back while he was doing push ups to tease him and when I was afraid to do it on him, the worst thing is that my friend heard that he was saying “I can do it too” and I didn’t. It was the last week before lock-down. However, sport class is the only moment he is talking to me. Once he complimented me when we were in Spanish class saying I was smart because I had a good grade but he had drink smthg before …

    I’m questioning myself on a lot of things. For instance, once I was pushed back and he was behind and when we touched but not one of us moved. He also did try to push me off the queue once but he didn’t pass or in English class he asked me smthg and when he saw the English girl was next to me he said “oh I’m sorry I don’t see why im asking you”.

    So some of the things he does are really really weird and I don’t know what to think of them. Especially that the fact is that he is the “popular” boy type and that one of the girl in my class is really into him and he’s always teasing her, touching her but apparently they’re only best friends. He has his friends so he never talks to me when I’m with mines or ever. The thing I hate about this situation is that, even though he is the opposite of me we share the same thoughts and the same ideas. And sometimes I can see when he’s sad or not really proud of himself in his eyes.

    So yeah, my situation is really weird. Can someone please help me ?

    Thanks !!

  14. So I like my guy best friend and he knows it but he keeps giving me mixed signals. I had my best friend ask him if he liked me and all he told her was lol. He took my phone one day for the fun of it and put it behind his back so I tried grabbing for it and I touched his hand and left my hand there and he started slowly holding my hand. He started standing by me more and sitting next to me more. He started asking me if I wanted hugs randomly. He also offered me to come sit by him. He told me that when he’s ready to date we could try dating after I asked him out. Then the other day I was talking to his guy best friend for advice and he walked out and asked his friend what we were talking about and his best friend didn’t say anything then he was like is it the question of you asking me out again. So like does he secretly want me to ask him out is that why he brought it up? When my friends tease me bout liking him he joins in on it and I don’t know why he does that. He told me he’d take me on a date cause I’ve never been on one before but is that cause he actually wants to or just to show me what a date is like?

    • Be careful it’s sounds like he could be a player, Alarm bells are ringing when he’s said when I’m ready for dating could try after you ask me out, he knows you like him alot so if he really wanted to date you he wouldn’t mess you around by saying that, when men really like someone they don’t waste time just be careful.

  15. im a tween and i have a crush on this boy in my class, but idk what he thinks of me. we’re kinda in a relationship where he kinda laughs with me. ok, this is a long story but its worth it: On saturday, my bff had a distanced party at the park, and he was there (oh my god im blushing). we (every1 at the party) had the BEST time. especially at the end, when we broke into the playground (i no!!). i was with 2 other girls, and him with 2 other boys. we stayed up REALLY late there gossiping and stuff. oh, and he goes to the same church as me. (i no, that doesn’t mean anything but i don’t care) so do u (or anyone else, actually) have any advice? should i tell him next time i see him or what? thanks!

  16. I saw him only once! But I gave request in instgram in 3 days! Initially I was the one who was initiating the conversation! And we became friends! He offered me for night show. We went and he never tried to flirt with me! Now we both equally start our conversations . But conversation is not lasting for long hours! Sometimes he comments my picture with shyness! And now iam very confused that whether he has intrest Or not! He stays Instagram for long hours! I don’t know how to make him fall for me

  17. hi
    So there is this guy and i’m not sure if he has a crush on me. Every time he stares at me, it’s in a different way. like one time he was staring at me (from a distance) with no expression on his face and he didn’t look away when i looked at him, all he did was blink rapidly. Another time i caught him staring and he quickly looked away all embarrassed. He sometimes looks at me from the side of his eyes when he is passing by. But what makes me unsure is that he ignores me and doesn’t look at me in other times, i don’t know what to think. I feel like he does but then it feels like he doesn’t. It would be helpful if some knew this kind of behavior, because i’m just really confused.

  18. I’ve known this guy for so many years; we’ve been worshipping in the same church since childhood, though we’re not so close as friends. I started having feelings for him in 2014 but he had a girlfriend at the time. In 2018, during a youth meeting, he said he was single since everyone in the meeting was asked to disclose their status. End of 2018, I started seeing some sort of signs from him like; he would seem kind of nervous talking to me, he would come greet me, though I would notice it’s like he was conflicting with himself as to whether he should come my direction to greet me or not, his eyes would seem watery in my presence, something that never happened before, he won’t look at me in the eye when talking to me, also something that never happened before and he during youth meetings he would always move his eyes through the crowd since I normally sit at the back, the moment he spots me he either gets out like for a minute then gets in the room and takes his seat or just sits immediately after he spots me. When addresses us, since he’s the youth chairman, I’ve noticed he stands in front at side that I’ve sat in that I see him directly and vice versa. Though end of 2019 he started avoiding me (but I believe it’s because I’ve also been avoiding him since I’m trying to forget and get rid of what I feel for him) and he’s still avoiding me though I’ve been told by a friend of mine that he and his friends have been talking about me of my strong personality, I not entertaining guys or any sort of nonsense, there has also been a background of like three guys from our church who tried pursuing me but I rejected them (one of the guys is my crush’s best friend, who still tries to pursue until now, despite rejecting him because I don’t like him the way he wants me to). Guys also say I’m intimidating coz I don’t entertain them. On the other hand I witnessed him flirting with another girl but any time he called her sweet word (honey to be specific) he would immediately turn and look at me, I think to see my reaction. Is it that my crush likes me but he’s intimidated by me or he doesn’t know what to do since his best friend is still stubborn and keeps trying to pursue me despite I saying know to him OR is he just not interested??

  19. So my story is a bit long but here goes nothing:
    This guy and I are in med school together and have known each other for about 6 years now (the duration of our programme). He’s very introverted and quite awkward with people he doesn’t know so we never really interacted until about 2 years ago when we chose an elective in the same department at a hospital in our home town. We were the only two students there so we had no choice but to interact and eventually got to know each other. We’d sometimes have deep conversations about our likes and dislikes but I thought nothing of this because we didn’t really know each other then.
    Fast forward about 6-8 months later (a year ago) and he asked me to a formal that the university was hosting for our class. He ended up getting sick and not attending the formal but he got his friend to give me the flowers he’d bought me. He also came to check on me the following day and apologize for missing the formal. That day was also the start of recess plus a second elective which we did in different places. During this time I also realized I had a small crush on him – we shared the same values plus he’s incredibly attractive. When we got back to school he got me expensive chocolates to make up for the formal but declined when I offered to cook dinner for him.
    And then we went back to the silence and zero communication.
    Fast forward to this year – 2 weeks ago to be exact. We needed to get back to school and being from the same hometown, we had to drive down together because no transport was running due to the national lockdown. As all roadtrips do, we started off playing music from his phone until we got to the first rest station. I generally don’t drink coffee but I bought one because it was quite early and I was getting cold. He asked what my preferred drink was and I told him before getting back to our roadtrip.
    I should probably have mentioned that in the planning process of this roadtrip I met his parents, who seem really nice, and our parents are now getting on like a house on fire.
    Back to the roadtrip. So now that I knew what music was on his phone (as the appointed DJ) but didn’t really recognise anything, he told me that I could play the music on my phone or whatever I liked. I went on to explain that I usually listen to a lot of RnB because I appreciate the lyrical content of songs. I decide to stream music and we took turns requesting songs. Does the man not start choosing songs with the absolute deepest lyrics??? Songs about men finding the one, being devoted to their lovers and the joy of simply being in love. I was so overwhelmed by the song choices because this was nothing like the music on this cellphone (which is what I’d assume he listens to the most). I didn’t know if he was trying to send subliminal messages or what he was trying to convey. When I questioned the music choices he simply said that that was roadtrip music. Anything more upbeat would be more appropriate for a party with friends or some other social set-up. I continued playing the music and we’d sing along to the songs we both knew.
    At some point we took a break and I took phone calls from friends + family checking in. We started back on the roadtrip while I was on the phone so that was that for the DJ.
    After my last phone call, he randomly started asking me about my future plans. Whether or not I wanted children. What my thoughts were on marriage. What my plans were for next year when we’re supposed to get placements for junior doctor positions and which places I was considering. When I told him that I wanted to go back to our hometown, he asked which neighborhood I wanted to live in and why, and he seemed to agree with everything I said. We discussed our faith, our challenges with anxiety and our families, and seemed to have a lot in common. He was also quite interested in my likes/ dislikes as well as what my long-term career plans were.
    In the moment I spoke openly and only afterwards did I begin to question the motives behind all the questions. Things my own friends had never even asked/ discussed with me.
    At our last rest stop, he surprised me with my favourite hot drink while I got us lunch. Once back on the road we settled into a comfortable silence. We had spoken about our hopes and dreams, we’d exhausted the RnB + gospel playlists and simply played classical music + movie soundtracks. I’d glance at him from time to time and he’d just smile.
    I continued being the contact person for his family, constantly updating them, and 12 hours later we reached our destination. He took my bags up to my apartment, we said our goodbyes and have not had much communication since. I honestly hate it when he leaves me high and dry. Does he sincerely like me or is this all one twisted game?
    I keep dreaming about the life that we could have (based on what we’ve discussed) and it’s all driving me crazy.
    Can he just ask me out already?!!!

  20. so there is this friend that i have and we’ve known each other since kindergarten. He is a year older than me but we are great friends. the thing is i like him but he has a girlfriend. i know that is wrong but he is just super cute and funny. Any way, we keep on making eye contact and when ever he sees me he will come and push me like a friendly push. so i push him back, he makes me laugh too. we don’t text much though. anyways i don’t know if he likes me or not. I want to tell him i like him but i don’t want to be embarrassed if he doesn’t like me back. so if anyone could help me out on what to do that would be great. Thanks.

  21. Hi
    there is a boy in my school that I like, but I don’t know if he likes me back. last year we were talking on messanger and my mum saw messanges on my ipad and she took them to my teacher and my teacher suspended for a few days and my teacher told us to delete each other on social media.

  22. Hi, I got back in touch with a guy after 16 yrs. Now we have been talking for almost 1 year over messenger. Only met one time several months ago and both sat in vehicles and talk for several hours. We talk daily most time, sometimes we will go a couple days and not talk. I always usually message him first unless it’s been maybe a week and he will out of blue message me first. We live about an hour apart but his town in close to my parents and I have a close friend who lives there also so I got there alot to go to walmart and stuff. I really like him and I’ve been asking for months to see him again but seems there is always an excuse. Hes busy, hes going to a buddies, hes at his parents etc…. Let me also say I am married!! Been married for 8 years now but it’s a bad marriage. A marriage that I’m not happy in anymore…. Me and this guy I’m talking to are really close over texting. I’ve tried to break it off several times and he would blow up on me saying things such as guess I’m not good enough for you then, guess you found someone else, its whatever I dont know what’s wrong with you. And in a few days I always tell him I’m sorry for things I said and we are fine again….. He says he hasn’t dated or had sex with anyone since we started talking almost a year ago and we talk all the time it would be hard for him to have a relationship and talk to me.Plus we send selfies and other pics back and forth all the time. My close friend also works with him amd she says he works and goes home and isn’t dating anyone. Him and I joke around alot about me surprising him at his house, him cooking for me, me cooking for him, us laying around cuddling ,and even us having sex together. But seems he is scared, shy, afraid or wants me to surprise him and show him my actions since I’m married that I really do want him. I’m confused as to if he just likes my attention or if he really is interested in being with me amd waiting on me to leave my husband.Which I did twice in the past 6 months but I went back to my husband due to financial situations. Seems like along time to talk to a girl if u have no feelings for her and especially getting upset when she tries to break it off. Anytime I ask if he wants me to come over he will says yes. But if I ask for him to meet me its and excuse. So I wonder if he just wants me to show up.His Birthday is coming up in August and he done said he wants me to make his favorite cake for his birthday. But yet still hasn’t seen me in months. I think he just show me to take action for him… Please help me Thank You😊

    • You should not be with him until you and your husband are separated and on the way to divorce. Anyways, it seems like this guy may just want sex.

  23. Hey, so there was this guy who I had a crush on during the first time we met, it was during a work event, we started to have a great conversation and got to know each other more. At that time i was just not sure if he likes me, but when we met after months again for another work event, he started teasing me and praising me to his other coworker. He showed even greater signs but the thing was he never once texted me or once in awhile i tried but he would just seen my message. However he did tell his friend that he liked me and wanted to talk to me but was shy. So one day, i texted him telling that I had a crush on him, but he never replied about his feelings. He just told me not to be bashful about it etc. So im really curious about his feelings, does he really like me? Because he showed many signs when we meet but when it comes to texting i just feel he does not like me. What should i do?

  24. Hi. I really confuse and need somebody to tell me what’s going on. So here’s the thing. We first met in a group. But I never talk to boys and socially awkward too. He is a very kind and social guy. Everytime he greets me, he will do it very cheerfully. The first greet he gave me was in a quite high pitch happy tone, looked very excited, smiled widely, waved at me and called my real name (not my nickname, I asked people to call me only by my nickname). I was quite taken aback and maybe said mean thing to him like “why so excited?” Then, after a while we started to chat. But mostly work-related. But sometimes, we talked about our life. Like how stressful we were, my interests and his, he also complained about his sunburn. During that time, I loved my senior and he knew about it. I even told him, I would like him if I havent fall in love with that senior first. He is a very nice guy. I saw him arranged all the shoes in front of the doors because the floor was wet, so that our socks didnt get wet. Then, someday, I got my hearr crushed so bad and never wamted ro fall in love again. Well, we are friends but till recently, I am confused. Like I said, he is a friendly guy. He texted my friends too. So I thought, I am just like his other girls friends. One day, he texted me. Something really deep, “wants friends but hates socializing, wants to be alone but hates loneliness, feel everything but numbing”. Then he asked me, what is that feeling? I told him what I was thinking and asked him if he was okay. But the thing is, why would he ask that to me? I mean, he wont probably ask other girls about that too right? Why me? Guys usually dont talk about deep feelings right? Especially to girls? From that day, I began to doubt our friendship. When he greeted me on his bike, with waves and smiles, I unconsciously waved back (I usually just nod to greet him back). Because I didnt take control of the waving, I was like making this weird face portraying, “why am I waving?” while looking at my waving hands. He saw my reaction and laughed. Thats the beginning of awkwardness. Then, the pandemic sent us home. And we conversed more and more online. He began to asked me about petty things and my opinions. Like, he showed me pictures and asked me what the emotions portrayed, he told me about his past, he asked me about grammar things, he asked me whats the answer for this question, some other more. Seems to me he is trying to make conversation to me.

    What do you think?

  25. I told my crush that i like him and he responded “ good and he is happy to know that” and i told him i am feeling awkward and he told me not to feel that way. He also told he is happy to meet me whenever i want. What does this mean?

  26. I like this guy a lot, I have liked him for a year or a little bit longer. He was my boss, but he was just a few years older than me. I always felt some sort of connection between us, and I felt like he liked me too, I don’t know how to explain it, but there was something. I tried to shoot my shot about 5 months ago, but I ended up giving up, and now I still thinking about it all the time. It makes me wonder if he actually thinks about me too, I find it weird that I think about someone I don’t talk too that much!!! He used to give me random compliments, but I preferred to overlook them telling myself that it was just him being friendly. Now I recall all those random moments and tell myself there must have been something else. Is it because I want to believe there was something, or was there truly something going on? He would give me random compliments, for instance he would say something like “we had a great time today”, or “you look nice today, almost younger”,etc. I really like him!!!! How do I approach him without beating around the bush this time around…

  27. There is a guy that I have been friends with for over 5 years. Sometimes it seems likes me and other times no. 3 days ago, for the first time, he invited me to go somewhere with him. It is a place that is abandoned that closer a long long time ago. We had a blast. Didn’t drink or anything. Even climbed a fence and onto a roof. He was so impressed and so excited that I actually did that. He told me that none of the other girls(now ex girlfriends, friends) he tried to get to do it would do it because they were too scared. He was amazed, blown away, so happy, etc. Does any of this indicate that he likes me?

  28. There is this guy at work, we have became friends and I have become to really like this guy. Some of my coworkers tell me that they can tell we like each other but I have always been bad at figuring this kind of thing out. He gets really talkative with me even more when it is one on one. I have noticed that his voice sometimes gets higher when he sees me and starts talking to me. He jokes and teases me alot, sometimes about sexual things and I will joke and tease back. I started touching his arms and standing a little closer to him and he doesn’t move away. When I’m teasing him I will sometimes call him hon, sweetie or honey and he will play along calling me names like that right back. He told me once that he hopes I keep the same work schedule as him. I have caught him staring at me, the other night when another guy was talking to me I saw him watching us. My guy friend also stood up from me with my boss saying that he would help me get a task done. He always helps me when I ask and sometimes he comes around were I’m working to check up on me. He has started to open up to me about his friends and family. He seems like he gets mad when someone makes me sad. He smiles whenever he sees me and most of the time we are talking he is smiling. One of the only things that throws me off is that he doesn’t really text. He does every now and than but sometimes when I text him he doesn’t reply. Sometimes if it was a question he will wait to answer it face to face. If anyone can help me decode this it would be a really big help. Thank you

    • He stares at me but immediately looks away when I look at him….he is.married and I work as a househelp so last night he knocked my bedroom door just to ask me about his phone and asked me to call him…he like making funny jokes and glance at me

  29. Hello,

    I first met this boy at the orientation for the musical that we are trying to perform. He is responsible for the background and the film. I am one of the dancers for the production. When we first met in early December, he had a girlfriend (I think). We did not even talk to each other that day. But, when I met him for the second time in late February, he started talking to me and asked about myself and whether I remember him. When I told him I did remember him, he seemed happy and told me that he was glad I remembered him. Later that day, our club decided to go eat dinner together. And when our club decided to carpool to the restaurant, he sat next to me in the car and when we arrived, he also sat next to me and kept on giving me meat (we went to a Korean BBQ place). It also seemed like he was showing off his cooking skills because he cooked the whole time. Also he asked for my phone when we got to the restaurant saying that he might need to contact me regarding the filming for the musical. So, I tried to give him my number, but he asked for my phone to put in his number and so I gave him my phone. After he was done saving his phone number on my phone, he called himself with my phone to get my phone number. That day, he was also very kind to help me carry my bag (it was heavy and I had a lot to carry). However, he never contacted me…

    After that day, he was always very nice to me whenever I went to practice (every Saturday). He smiled and waved hi when I arrived at practice. He always opens door for me, helps me carry my bag, and walks at the same speed as me when we walk somewhere together. He always sits and stands right next to me. He offers me his cold drink when I am sweating and seem tired. He faces me when he is talking to other girls, but he seems shy or uninterested when he talks to me, especially when there are a lot of people around us. I don’t know if it is because he doesn’t want to talk to me or he is shy, but he does try to talk to me whenever I am on break. However, he does not linger around when he says goodbye and he never contacts me first when we are not together. When I contacted him first, he responded back and we texted back and forth and he told me that we should go out and eat sometime. But then, he stopped texting me after three days of texting together. So I texted him first again after 2 days of no contact and he responded, but we went silent again. I called him “accidentally” after a month of no contact and he answered, but the call was pretty dry. I don’t understand, I thought he was interested in me. Now, I am not sure at all. He seems like he is interested in me when we are together, but he seems uninterested when we are apart. Is he not interested in me anymore or is he just shy to contact me first? What should I do? Should I just move on? Am I chasing him? Please help me

    *Btw, we only met like 3 times in total due to the Coronavirus…

    • I forgot to say, when we were at the Korean BBQ place, someone asked us if we were a couple. He said that we weren’t and that he break up with his girlfriend and that he is single now.

  30. I have a new CEO who started in February. I met him a few weeks after because a severe incident where a different colleague threatened and behaved violently in the workplace toward me when I approached him with a simple request about changing how he interacts with me. My manager handled the situation poorly, so it got escalated to the CEO as I was considering legal action. At that meeting, I went through the incident in detail (I did my best not to cry and hold myself together, but failed a bit) and because of how stressed/upset I was, I went into A LOT of negative things about the company/managers, genuinely do not remember 100% what I said). At the end of the meeting, he said I was courageous and was abruptly pulled out of the meeting by someone else.
    A few days later, late on a friday he sends me a lengthy email going through what had transpired with that colleague, who was now making (false) allegations about me that needed to be investigated and would have to respond to next week. In the email he acknowledged I was courageous and would be upset, provided his number to call him over the weekend if needed and that he had not approached me directly because he was concerned about enticing rumours. I did not call and had an awful weekend.
    On Monday, he looked really awful and asked me about my weekend (told him it was awful). Long story short, that employee was made to resign.

    A few days later he sends me an invite for a 1:1 which he was doing with everyone to get to know us, tells me it can be more casual in a cafe and for as long as I need.

    Meeting happens in his office and it’s got this weird vibe/energy to it when I walk in. I feel nervous because I said a lot of bad things about the company. I have a little list of things to talk about the incident (that could be improved). As soon as I sit down, he says he acknowledges incident was poorly managed, pity it happened etc. He pulls out a little book, smiles at me and says it’s getting quite full before telling me he has taken on everything I have said, is pursuing getting consultants in, etc

    He then smiles and asks me about why I am the only member of my team to access a certain program offered by the company, I tell the honest truth (which is again because of poor management) and he looks shocked and lost for words.
    He then asks me what I would do if I had his job, so I tell him management need to focus more on staff wellbeing and connecting with staff, I was explaining we were like passing ships when he interrupts me and says in a frustrated tone,
    “The amount of times I have walked past your desk and you just don’t look up, no one does, if you look up, then maybe I would approach”. I was shocked as had no idea.

    He then asks me if I have any questions for him, which I do and when he answers them he says “I shouldn’t tell you this but xy”, “I haven’t told anyone else this … xyz.”
    He pretty much tells me a lot of things he shouldn’t. Told me he was rambling and continued for a while when I said it was good to hear his thought process.

    Eventually he stops, my head is spinning and I shake my head when he asks if I have any more Qs. He then jumps UP from his chair and wipes his hands on his pants looking uncomfortable.

    The next day I see him walk past my desk and notice that he suddenly blushes (he didn’t notice me looking); a couple days later I happen to look up and catch his eye as he passes, he gives me a huge grin and blushes as he continues walking. Same response when I say good morning to him.

    He then approaches my work and asks how everyone is (this is something I told him management need to do more of), my coworker then jumps on him and starts bitching at him. He comes closer to my desk, enters my eyesight and we make direct eye contact for over 5 seconds before he breaks it to deal with my coworker.

    That was the last time I interacted with him because of COVID-19 restrictions. I have since noticed that he will occassionally end emails with my sign-off (kind regards) whereas it was normally more formal.

    We had a zoom meeting last week with the whole company and he touched on some of the issues he had spoken to me freely about, but did not go into full detail.

    He is my mega boss which really complicates the situation, coupled with the fact that I am pretty sure he has a partner.

    I think I have sparked some interest on his part, but do you think that he is pursuing me?

    I am feeling kind of indebted to him but in a really awkward position because I am not into taken guys or dating in the worplace.


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