Viktor Sander

How to tell if a girl likes you: 42 signs she has a crush on you

How do you know if a girl likes you or even has a crush on you?

My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve coached hundreds of men to have more success with women.

Here’s a list of 42 signs to help you understand how she feels about you.

1. Is she laughing at your jokes (even when they’re bad)?

This has always been a BIG GREEN SIGN of interest for me. I’ve seen it both in most of the girls I’ve dated and also in girls my friends have dated. If she got a crush on you, she will most likely think all your jokes are super funny even if they aren’t.

2. Is she mirroring you?

Mirroring means that her body language, posture, or even what she’s saying reflects what you said or did. So if you take a sip of your glass, if she’s mirroring that, she’ll also take a sip of her glass. Or if you cross your legs and she does the same, that’s also mirroring.

Take note that mirroring is done subconsciously when she has a very good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if she really wants to impress you or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.

3. Has she added you on social media (like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, or WhatsApp) after you met?

This one means she wants to stay in touch and is at least a little bit interested in you. It also makes it a lot easier for you to take initiative.

4. How long are her texts or messages compared to yours?

Is she always giving you short answers, or is she giving you a small novel as a reply?

If her texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.

If you’re usually giving her long replies, but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager. In that case, it’s often good to step back a bit and try to match her better. Give her some space so she wants to come back to you again.

5. Is she teasing you?

Is it mean teasing or more flirty and light-hearted?

Most forms of teasing (even mean) are usually a sign she’s interested in you. I LOVE it when a girl I like tries to tease me. It means she’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that she wants a reaction from you. Just don’t take it too seriously and try to have fun with her!

6. Is she doing the “lean in”?

If she’s leaning in toward you, that’s a sign she’s eager to get your attention or get her message across. And in the best case, it also means she’s eager to get closer to you.

7. Is she getting “too close” to you compared to what is normal?

If you’re in a conversation and you feel like she’s edging closer to you, or as if she’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. It could mean she’s attracted to you and wants to feel closer to you both physically and mentally.

Take note that different cultures have different “personal spaces”. So, if she’s from a different culture than you, it might just be because of that.

8. Is she’s doing the “lip bite thing”?

Biting herself lightly in the lip is a flirty and cute (or sexy) signal. If she’s biting herself in the lip while you’re talking, that’s great. She’s probably into you.

9. Is she smiling toward you?

If she’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach her. Or she’s flirting with you. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home. I almost did that once, not recommended!)

If she’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign she likes you. Especially if she has a light smile while you’re not even joking.

10. Is she doing “the lick”?

Is she licking her lips or teeth? This is similar to biting her lips, but a bit more subtle and less flirty. Still a good sign she might like you.

11. How much is she blinking?

If she’s blinking more than normal, that’s a good sign.

12. How large are her pupils when you two are talking?

If her pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.

13. How long is she holding your eye contact?

If you notice that she’s holding eye contact slightly longer than normal, she’s probably interested in you. That kind of eye contact often feels more intense, and can even be a bit weird or uncomfortable.

14. Is she giving you a light smile when you get eye contact?

Say that you’re all standing in a circle, and when someone else is talking, you two get eye contact. Does she give you a slight smile? She likes you.

Same thing if you get eye contact at a distance, in a park or at a bar. A smile is like an invitation to start talking.

15. If there’s background music, what’s her body language and what is she looking at?

This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example at a bar or a club.

If she’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign she’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you she wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.

16. What’s her posture like around you?

Does she straighten her posture when she gets your attention or is close to you? That means she’s trying to make a good impression on you.

17. What direction is her body facing in a group?

If she’s facing you more often than she’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign she’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not even the one talking the most in the group.

18. Where are her feet pointing?

If her feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if her body is facing you. She’s subconsciously focused on you which makes her feet point toward you.

19. Is she fiddling with or straightening her clothes, jewelry, or accessories?

This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because she wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.

20. What direction are her palms facing?

If the palms of their hands are pointed in your direction that signals she might be interested in you. It’s a weak signal, but it’s still positive because it’s part of an open and welcoming body language she has toward you.

21. If you touch her, does she touch you back?

For example, if you touch her arm, does she touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If she does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign, but it also depends on if she’s touchy with most people or just you?

Also, shy girls usually don’t touch back because they’re so afraid of messing up.

22. Does she touch you when you talk or in any other situations?

Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if she touches those.

23. Do you ever have “peripheral physical contact”?

Peripheral physical contact is when some part of your bodies are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.

For example, if you’re both sitting down and your thighs are barely touching each other. Or if you’re walking side by side and she grabs hold of your arm. That kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of tension and attraction.

24. Is she giving you more of her attention than she’s giving others?

For example, if you’re in a group but she seems to direct most of her attention toward you. Or if she’s only asking you questions or if she’s laughing more than others at your jokes.

The more attention she gives you, the more interested she usually is in you.

25. Does she ever blush when you talk or get eye-contact?

She might just be shy, but she’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because she likes you.

26. Does she ever seem to look in your direction from afar?

Girls are often a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with her eyes. I’ve even seen girls using window reflections to check out a guy (and to check if he’s looking at them). Sunglasses are even sneakier.

So if she’s looking in your direction, especially if she does it several times, she’s probably checking you out.

27. Does she keep the conversation going when you stop talking?

What happens when you stop talking or can’t come up with anything to say? If she seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If she excuses herself, she may not be that interested.

28. Does she always reply when you call, text, or message her?

Quicker responses are often a sign of interest. But many girls are so afraid of appearing needy that they delay their response even if they like you.

29. Who texts or calls first?

If she’s often the one initiating, that’s a very strong sign she’s into you.

But if she never calls or texts first, that’s a sign of lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if she will take initiative when you don’t do it before she even has the chance.

30. How often does she text you?

Compare this to how often you text her. It’s the same principle as matching the length of her texts. She’s eager if she’s texting more often than you, and you’re eager if you’re the one texting more often.

31. Does she ever stammer, stutter, or forget what she was about to say in a conversation with you?

This could mean she’s a bit extra shy or self-conscious around you, which tells you that she might also be a bit extra interested in you.

32. Does she back off if you get a bit too close?

If she doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to her personal space, that’s a sign she wants you close to her.

If you take a step closer, and she backs off by a step, that’s a sign she’s a bit more reserved toward you.

33. Does she ever talk about things she wants to do with you or show you?

Planning or mentioning things they want to do with you in the future is a very strong indication of some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.

For example, if you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant and they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”

34. How does she react when you discover you have something in common?

If she’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, like that you live in the same part of town, that you’re the same age, or that you both like pizza.

35. Is she asking you any personal questions?

If she is, that’s telling you that she wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more she asks, the better.

For example, asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or just about your favorite food.

36. Has she asked about your plans for the day or the weekend?

This might just be empty small talk, but it could also be her trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if she brings it up near the end of the conversation.

37. Does she seem embarrassed if you two are the only two people left in a situation?

If she does but doesn’t do anything to leave the situation, that means she’s just a bit shy but still interested.

A classic example is if you meet her with her girlfriends at a bar, and then all her friends leave, but she stays. That’s perfect because it also means her friends approve of you.

38. Has she told her friends or family about you?

This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I thought it was worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if she’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.

If she’s told her family, it means she is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!

If she just told her friends, that’s also great, but not as big as her family.

39. Has she ever offered you a massage?

Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a girl to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer her one back. If you like her!)

40. Does your best friend like you?

Is she acting differently from how she usually behaves? Does she seem jealous or dismissive of other girls you might like? Is she suddenly extra touchy-feely? Is she unusually interested in your interests?

Those are all signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend.

41. How do you know for sure if she’s interested?

You can’t really know for sure if she’s interested just based off of a sign in this list. But there are a few rules you can use to help you know:

  1. Is she regularly showing you different signs of interest?
  2. Does she act differently to others than to you? (So she’s not just flirty with everyone.)
  3. Has she shown any particularly strong signs of interest?

42. Are you still unsure if she likes you?

I’ll do my best to help you interpret the signs you’re getting. Just write it down in the comments below in as much detail as possible.

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Comments (4)

  1. r bell

    A few questions:

    1) As far as teasing goes…is pretty much all teasing considered flirty, as long as it’s not mean-spirited? Example: making fun of your favorite sports team and poking at you for being quiet?

    2) How to interpret a woman staring at you, not breaking eye contact and not smiling?

    3) Same woman as the first two: so, there was a work social event for everyone in my department that she organized, and she asked me if I was going/tried to talk me into going. I didn’t go, and the next day she wouldn’t let it go that I didn’t come and kept talking about how I should have come and would have had fun. No one else reacted like this–one person said once that she thinks I would have had fun, but that was it. Everyone else went, so I was the only one who didn’t. This workplace is very big on “team” and relationship building, so…normally, I would definitely think this was a sign of interest, especially combined with some of the other signs, but it also occurs to me that she just could have been bothered that not everyone on the “team” came and that I like to do my own thing instead of acting like everyone else and trying to fit in.

    • Viktor Sander

      Interesting observations!

      1: It really depends on the context, it’s either a) flirting b) trying to be playful and have fun with you or c) bullying. It can also be some combination of those alternatives. What’s interesting with flirting is that it’s so ambiguous, it’s supposed to be hard to interpret.

      But considering signs 2 and 3, I think she might be interested in you because she’s giving you so much of her attention. Unless it feels more like bullying/trying to put you down? You should have a good grasp if she’s just mean-spirited or not. If she’s not, all of that attention she’s giving you definitely means something.

      • r bell

        Thanks, Viktor. I don’t think it’s mean-spirited or bullying. It’s more like what you wrote, i.e. I’m not sure if she’s just trying to get me to lighten up or if it’s more than that.

        How many signs do you think are enough to feel good about approaching a woman?

        • Viktor Sander

          You don’t really need any signs to go for it if you really like her. But at work, I would be a lot more careful since you don’t want to burn any bridges there. And you don’t have to “make a move”, you can just start talking more to her, maybe try to flirt a little bit to see if she likes it. If you get a positive response to the flirting, I’d consider asking her out on a date (or just a lunch/coffee so there are not so high expectations). And when she’s asking you to come to an event, you should definitely go if you’re actually interested in her.

          Best of luck!