Viktor Sander

How to tell if a girl likes you: 42 signs she has a crush on you

How do you know if a girl likes you or even has a crush on you?

My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve coached hundreds of men to have more success with women.

Here’s a list of 42 signs to help you understand how she feels about you.

1. Is she laughing at your jokes (even when they’re bad)?

This has always been a BIG GREEN SIGN of interest for me. I’ve seen it both in most of the girls I’ve dated and also in girls my friends have dated. If she got a crush on you, she will most likely think all your jokes are super funny even if they aren’t.

Read more: How to be funny (for un-funny people).

2. Is she mirroring you?

Mirroring means that her body language, posture, or even what she’s saying reflects what you said or did. So if you take a sip of your glass, if she’s mirroring that, she’ll also take a sip of her glass. Or if you cross your legs and she does the same, that’s also mirroring.

Take note that mirroring is done subconsciously when she has a very good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if she really wants to impress you or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.

3. Has she added you on social media (like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, or WhatsApp) after you met?

This one means she wants to stay in touch and is at least a little bit interested in you. It also makes it a lot easier for you to take initiative.

4. How long are her texts or messages compared to yours?

Is she always giving you short answers, or is she giving you a small novel as a reply?

If her texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.

If you’re usually giving her long replies, but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager. In that case, it’s often good to step back a bit and try to match her better. Give her some space so she wants to come back to you again.

5. Is she teasing you?

Is it mean teasing or more flirty and light-hearted?

Most forms of teasing (even mean) are usually a sign she’s interested in you. I LOVE it when a girl I like tries to tease me. It means she’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that she wants a reaction from you. Just don’t take it too seriously and try to have fun with her!

6. Is she doing the “lean in”?

If she’s leaning in toward you, that’s a sign she’s eager to get your attention or get her message across. And in the best case, it also means she’s eager to get closer to you.

7. Is she getting “too close” to you compared to what is normal?

If you’re in a conversation and you feel like she’s edging closer to you, or as if she’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. It could mean she’s attracted to you and wants to feel closer to you both physically and mentally.

Take note that different cultures have different “personal spaces”. So, if she’s from a different culture than you, it might just be because of that.

8. Is she’s doing the “lip bite thing”?

Biting herself lightly in the lip is a flirty and cute (or sexy) signal. If she’s biting herself in the lip while you’re talking, that’s great. She’s probably into you.

9. Is she smiling toward you?

If she’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach her. Or she’s flirting with you. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home. I almost did that once, not recommended!)

If she’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign she likes you. Especially if she has a light smile while you’re not even joking.

10. Is she doing “the lick”?

Is she licking her lips or teeth? This is similar to biting her lips, but a bit more subtle and less flirty. Still a good sign she might like you.

11. How much is she blinking?

If she’s blinking more than normal, that’s a good sign.

12. How large are her pupils when you two are talking?

If her pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.

13. How long is she holding your eye contact?

If you notice that she’s holding eye contact slightly longer than normal, she’s probably interested in you. That kind of eye contact often feels more intense, and can even be a bit weird or uncomfortable.

14. Is she giving you a light smile when you get eye contact?

Say that you’re all standing in a circle, and when someone else is talking, you two get eye contact. Does she give you a slight smile? She likes you.

Same thing if you get eye contact at a distance, in a park or at a bar. A smile is like an invitation to start talking.

15. If there’s background music, what’s her body language and what is she looking at?

This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example at a bar or a club.

If she’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign she’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you she wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.

16. What’s her posture like around you?

Does she straighten her posture when she gets your attention or is close to you? That means she’s trying to make a good impression on you.

17. What direction is her body facing in a group?

If she’s facing you more often than she’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign she’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not even the one talking the most in the group.

18. Where are her feet pointing?

If her feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if her body is facing you. She’s subconsciously focused on you which makes her feet point toward you.

19. Is she fiddling with or straightening her clothes, jewelry, or accessories?

This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because she wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.

20. What direction are her palms facing?

If the palms of their hands are pointed in your direction that signals she might be interested in you. It’s a weak signal, but it’s still positive because it’s part of an open and welcoming body language she has toward you.

21. If you touch her, does she touch you back?

For example, if you touch her arm, does she touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If she does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign, but it also depends on if she’s touchy with most people or just you?

Also, shy girls usually don’t touch back because they’re so afraid of messing up.

22. Does she touch you when you talk or in any other situations?

Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if she touches those.

23. Do you ever have “peripheral physical contact”?

Peripheral physical contact is when some part of your bodies are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.

For example, if you’re both sitting down and your thighs are barely touching each other. Or if you’re walking side by side and she grabs hold of your arm. That kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of tension and attraction.

24. Is she giving you more of her attention than she’s giving others?

For example, if you’re in a group but she seems to direct most of her attention toward you. Or if she’s only asking you questions or if she’s laughing more than others at your jokes.

The more attention she gives you, the more interested she usually is in you.

25. Does she ever blush when you talk or get eye-contact?

She might just be shy, but she’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because she likes you.

26. Does she ever seem to look in your direction from afar?

Girls are often a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with her eyes. I’ve even seen girls using window reflections to check out a guy (and to check if he’s looking at them). Sunglasses are even sneakier.

So if she’s looking in your direction, especially if she does it several times, she’s probably checking you out.

27. Does she keep the conversation going when you stop talking?

What happens when you stop talking or can’t come up with anything to say? If she seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If she excuses herself, she may not be that interested.

28. Does she always reply when you call, text, or message her?

Quicker responses are often a sign of interest. But many girls are so afraid of appearing needy that they delay their response even if they like you.

29. Who texts or calls first?

If she’s often the one initiating, that’s a very strong sign she’s into you.

But if she never calls or texts first, that’s a sign of lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if she will take initiative when you don’t do it before she even has the chance.

30. How often does she text you?

Compare this to how often you text her. It’s the same principle as matching the length of her texts. She’s eager if she’s texting more often than you, and you’re eager if you’re the one texting more often.

31. Does she ever stammer, stutter, or forget what she was about to say in a conversation with you?

This could mean she’s a bit extra shy or self-conscious around you, which tells you that she might also be a bit extra interested in you.

32. Does she back off if you get a bit too close?

If she doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to her personal space, that’s a sign she wants you close to her.

If you take a step closer, and she backs off by a step, that’s a sign she’s a bit more reserved toward you.

33. Does she ever talk about things she wants to do with you or show you?

Planning or mentioning things they want to do with you in the future is a very strong indication of some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.

For example, if you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant and they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”

34. How does she react when you discover you have something in common?

If she’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, like that you live in the same part of town, that you’re the same age, or that you both like pizza.

35. Is she asking you any personal questions?

If she is, that’s telling you that she wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more she asks, the better.

For example, asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or just about your favorite food.

36. Has she asked about your plans for the day or the weekend?

This might just be empty small talk, but it could also be her trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if she brings it up near the end of the conversation.

37. Does she seem embarrassed if you two are the only two people left in a situation?

If she does but doesn’t do anything to leave the situation, that means she’s just a bit shy but still interested.

A classic example is if you meet her with her girlfriends at a bar, and then all her friends leave, but she stays. That’s perfect because it also means her friends approve of you.

38. Has she told her friends or family about you?

This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I thought it was worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if she’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.

If she’s told her family, it means she is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!

If she just told her friends, that’s also great, but not as big as her family.

39. Has she ever offered you a massage?

Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a girl to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer her one back. If you like her!)

40. Does your best friend like you?

Is she acting differently from how she usually behaves? Does she seem jealous or dismissive of other girls you might like? Is she suddenly extra touchy-feely? Is she unusually interested in your interests?

Those are all signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend.

41. How do you know for sure if she’s interested?

You can’t really know for sure if she’s interested just based off of a sign in this list. But there are a few rules you can use to help you know:

  1. Is she regularly showing you different signs of interest?
  2. Does she act differently to others than to you? (So she’s not just flirty with everyone.)
  3. Has she shown any particularly strong signs of interest?

42. Are you still unsure if she likes you?

I’ll do my best to help you interpret the signs you’re getting. Just write it down in the comments below in as much detail as possible.

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Comments (42)

  1. Anonymous

    Alote out those apply but she talks to all boys in my class but me, what does that mean?

  2. Anonymous

    She just looks at me. And her friends tease her indirectly when im around. She notices every time i look at her. But unfortunately we never had any conversation. so i don’t know if she likes me or not. What should i do first?

    • Anonymous

      Try talking to her! Confidence goes a long way!

    • Anonymous

      She looks at me and I look at her and she smiles sometimes but we never talked so what should I do

      • Viktor Sander

        Talk to her.

        🙂

  3. Emmanuel

    Don’t know if she likes me, she always find ways to meet me but hardly starts the conversation. She talks to other boys more but still keeps her attention to me whenever I show interest. Can u help me find out

  4. Chris

    Help!

    So this is kind of long winded but I have to get this off my chest, I have a friend, we are best friends. So here it goes.
    We met acouple years ago, I work for her on the side even though I’ve done work for her in the past. As we moved forward on her project I kept a wall up. We have a lot in common our background and life story, but around last October we were hanging out with one of her employees at a bar talking about the design, I noticed she she sat beside me the kinda snuggled up to me. I thought that’s kinda strange. Then me her employee start playing a friendly game of foosball, she’s standing there with us yelling my name, saying come on you can beat him, really cheering me on but I was getting killed by this guy. We sat back down. Finished our drinks and so on. As we depart she gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now keep in mind she’s always taking me out to lunch, buying me stuff and so on. Makes a big deal out of my birthday. So here comes thanksgiving, she tells me that she’s really thankful for me. She’s always giving me these looks. Well Christmas comes around and she sends me pictures of her in her pjs then of her and her husband, were both married, all in fun I’m thinking at this point. New Year’s Eve we hang out together because her husbands at work, lawyer. We are at another bar and a lady there assumes we are a couple and she doesn’t skip a beat. Goes with it. She calls me her frusband, bff, brother and so on, so we leave there go to another bar, very dark and quiet, we’re looking at videos on my phone of the days events and she snuggles up to me again. We end up back at her place, husbands home, seems alittle upset but we are all friends, as I’m leaving she begs me to go to a party with them, I told her I couldn’t and left, few days later she called me to meet her downtown because it was her birthday and her husband had to leave, on call, we hung out and shopped some. Acting like a couple. I giver her a card and acouple small gifts. Then they go on vacation, she calls me upset that her passport expired and that her husband and step kids were already there without her. She does call me to vent often and so on. Then she calls me one day to go to her rental property with her, saying she needed my help. I agree to go. Then next day her husband texts me saying he’s on call and ask if I could go help her. And I said yes even Though I already told her yes, so we go to her vacation rental property and go to town for supplies while a few other people are working and so on. Have a lot of fun just hanging out and shopping, later on that Night she tells me it’s her sisters birthday and that we are going to her birthday party, I agreed. Now keep in mind she made it a point to put me in the room beside hers, only thing separating our rooms is a door, we had started drinking some, I was already ready to go, I’m in her room and she says she needs to change, before I can leave she changes right front of me. The gentleman that I am I just turned my back towards her. We go to the party, I get out of her van and realized I left my jacket back at her place, she said she has just the thing, she hands me a poncho, as I’m tucking my shirt in she grabs me and starts running her hand down the front of my pants, I said what are you doing, with a big smile on her face she says I’m helping you tuck your shirt in…. then we go into the party’, I see her sister whom I’ve only met once, hand her her present from me, tell her happy birthday and so on, then I go outside, meet her sisters boyfriend for the first time and he says your chris? The chris? I’m like ya I guess, he’s says dude Lisa really loves you, looking at me dead in the eye, then I look at her sister and she says ya chris, Lisa really loves, she is so happy she has a big strong man like you in her life, I was floored at this point. We go on about the party, leave and go back to her place, alittle tipsy from the party, I’m laying in the bed and hear my door open, she comes in and says I’m gonna tuck you in….I’m like ok, she fluffs my pillows, blankets and so on and gets me a teddy bear out of her room and says sleep with this. At this point I still have my wall up. Being careful. Next day we work more.as I’m getting ready to leave she tells me to come back into my room, turns off all the lights and we sit together in dark, she’s going on about how much stuff she has to get done, I pat her on the back then ask me to give her a massage. I give her a back massage then get ready to go. As I’m leaving she looks at me and says I love you. I tell her I love her also and leave, she looked really sad I had to go. Next day she sends me pictures of the weekend events and so on. Saying how cute… so we back to business as usual since but since then she’s gotten real touchy feely, doesn’t mind being in my bubble, she will also tell me how good I am, that I’m the best, and will tell her husband to let me do stuff because I’m better at it or that I know what I’m doing, even though he’s a great guy and very hands on do it yourselfer kinda guy, I catch her singing songs when we are alone together like wicked game by Chris issac.shes used the term soulmate and so on. Says I remind her of a movie star she had a crush on when she was younger, all of her friends know about me as well as her family like she talks about me. She will take videos and pics of me working and send them to people, friends and so on. She invites me out to eat with her and her husband and always sits beside me, he will leave us there together like he doesn’t mind or don’t care, nothing sexual has happened between us, I care for her deeply, she’s like my best friend , well it’s made me fall in love with her! And I wrote her a poem, gave it to her last week and she cried, leaned into me and said you know were both married right and that the universe was messing with us. I said yes but I just had to tell you how I feel. She always looks at me like she’s looking into my soul, whenever she’s going out of town she makes a excuse to see me before she leaves, and if I don’t see her for acouple days like weekend she always wants to meet up for lunch. I thought the poem would seal the deal or run her off but it did neither, she didn’t skip a beat. Still goes on like nothing but since when she looks at me it’s like she gives me this save me look. We do have a lot of fun together working or not. I can tell she doesn’t get that from her hubby, there’s more to the story but I figured it’s long enough. I know we are both married but I have never felt this way about anybody, not even my wife. I’m just waiting now to see what she wants to do. All the signs are there. I see it in her eyes smile and body language.im willing to wait…. here’s the poem I wrote
    In every song I hear you should hear her sing
    In amazement at what she does can do and has done
    Wonder Woman super woman or just human
    I’ve never met anyone like her bet I never will
    I consider her perfect expressed it before
    In the beginning I put up a wall but a sea of emotions washed it away
    In short time or long time the wait
    This feeling what is it
    Maybe in another life or maybe in a future her
    The look in her eyes the feeling in mine
    Just friends why
    The lucky one to have this friendship or the pain knowing it can’t or can it
    The stories the times the connections
    She’s got the perfect life, she’ll say different me too or do we
    I don’t want it to end cause I know it will then be in short passing
    It’s not lust is it love
    What is it
    I’ve dreamt of her, I did again last nite.
    She’s a dream come true but a nightmare because
    I know I’m sane, is it a higher power
    She’s in my thoughts and she’s on my mind
    I want to climb the highest peek and screem her name because god knows I’ve yelled it in my soul many times
    She tells me her secrets I tell her mine
    Could I go on but of course
    Like a book that never ends but a poem that does.

    It’s just so crazy she made me fall in love with her but at this point I know she feels the same way but don’t want to mess things up between us. She treats me so different than anybody else, special attention. She’s always wanting my feedback on things even though she has it in her mind what and how she wants things. I feel like she puts me way up high on a pedistool, gifts, lunches, dinners and so on. I’m just a average joe. He’s a lawyer but tells me how smart and funny I am. She’s always hugging me, having me massage her or hold her. I can go on and on but that’s the jist of it. Help!

  5. Tim Bolton

    Usually when I’m hanging out with friends i notice her at the corner of my eye staring at me.

    She had a Instagram story saying “send a x if you don’t hate me” I sent it and she said that she would give a honest statement if I sent a pic of me I did and she said she misses talking to me and wished she had the same classes as me.
    Does she like me?

    • Viktor Sander

      Yes! Not sure yet if romantically or not though.

  6. Nothing.

    Okay… There is this girl that I like but I can’t figure out if she likes me back or she’s just being herself. She is sometimes taking my stuff like my hat, and she full on Sat on my desk… Weird because I have never seen her do any of these things. I don’t know if I’m being stupid or if I’m right and she does like me.

    • Viktor Sander

      Seems like playful teasing/flirting (unless it feels like bullying?). She at least has some interest in you.

    • Boi

      Boii she likes u

  7. Ellanor

    Im in college and there is this guy I’ve been talking to all semester. We have a lot in common and we vibe really well. We had a few classes together and we tease each other all the time. People say we are flirty but he hasn’t made a move, and hasn’t asked me out. We also text frequently but i can’t tell if he is just being a good friend or likes me more than that

    • Viktor Sander

      He’s most likely interested in you, but too insecure to make a move. Ask if he wants to go do some activity or something fun with you and see how it goes.

  8. Gabriela

    I have a friend and she seems to talk a lot about guys and her ex-boyfriend. But she is pretty touchy and gets really close to my face as a joke. When we talk we somehow end up holding hands kinda. And idk the overall vibe is pretty flirty the only off thing is that her friends say she is straight and she talks about guys. But idk, doesn’t body language say more than words do?

    • Viktor Sander

      You could try asking her if she’s ever been attracted to a girl. It’s a harmless question if she’s straight. And if she’s not or if she’s interested in you, you’ll notice on her reaction.

      Her actions definitely seem flirty. Worst case I think she might want to see if you are attracted to her to get a self-esteem boost. But I think it’s more likely she’s interested in you. But maybe she feels ambiguous about it also.

  9. Daniel

    Im in eighth grade and this whole year this one girl has always caught my interest she occasionally touches me and playfully slaps me along with a couple other things, she stares at me often and is always talking to me when we have the chance, i just dont say anything to her cause im scared ill mess it up in some way. What do i do?

    • anonymous

      if u like her too of course! but if ur to nervous just txt her if u have her number or get it from her friends or on social media. u can start there then once u think u can do it. go ahead start talking in person.

  10. L

    My best friend and me have been friends forever and recently she has been really flirty with me and even saying that she likes me but I kindly brush it off because ik she is joking well I think cause she’s been really confusing lately like she kissed me on the cheek the other day and she’s liked never done that and and we were texting the other day and she said she wants me all to herself and I really feel like she is just maybe joking with me but idk I tried to ask her about it but I chickened out 😞

    • Viktor Sander

      Wow. Seems as obvious as it can get. Unless she’s really mean and making fun of you or leading you on. But if she’s never been mean before + since you are best friends that seems unlikely. Don’t brush it off next time and go for it!

  11. Frye

    I’ve seen her looking at me but then she darts her head away the seconed I see her. And when she is around her friends she dosent really talk to me. But when she’s not with her friends she talks to me. And when she is talking she makes eye contact for a long time. I want to ask her out but i just want yo be sure she likes me

    • Anonymous

      Trying to find a crush

      • Anonymous

        A girl and I recently told each other we liked one another. Day after, she stops talking to me 😔

        • Viktor Sander

          Maybe she got nervous or afraid she’ll mess it up somehow? You never know what kind of issues someone else might have.

  12. Lavai

    My best friend and me have been friends forever and recently she has been really flirty with me and even saying that she likes me but I kindly brush it off because ik she is joking well I think cause she’s been really confusing lately like she kissed me on the cheek the other day and she’s liked never done that and and we were texting the other day and she said she wants me all to herself and I really feel like she is just maybe joking with me but idk I tried to ask her about it but I chickened out 😞

  13. Sandeep

    We are roommates sharing a different bedroom. She used to come see me when I am in the living room or kitchen everytime. We started hanging out, I see the signs mentioned in points 1,2,3,5,6,8,9,10,13,14,16,17,18,21,24,25,26,27,28,31,33,35,37 in her. She is making plans for the future but she is not coming out frequently now when I am in the room and also looking me from far but not approaching me.

  14. Alex

    What if she grabs my arm to take me to a place instead of just telling me or walking me there without contact

    • Viktor Sander

      It’s a good sign, but not conclusive on its own. It might just be the way she does with everyone she likes, romantic AND platonic.

  15. John

    There is this girl in my class ( sixth grade) and she always playfully punches me. Also, she ALWAYS asks if I would team with her in four square before she asks her friends. I don’t know if she likes me or not because, like I always say, middle school is confusing.

  16. Dev

    There’s this girl in my art class that I like (I’m in 7th grade). She is usually sitting next to me or asking me for help and when I see her for the first time in the day she’ll say my name in an excited high voice. She always laughs at what I say even if it’s not funny. Pls help me lol.

    • Julio Soto

      So this girl I work with, just told me she wants to be my best friend (I know, I got friend zoned). But I she feel wants to be more than friends. She playfully hits me, is nervous when she’s around me, and it seems like she forgets what she wanted to tell me sometimes. When we’re out, she constantly tells me to feel her hand because it’s cold. I may be looking too much into this, but I want to make sure the signs I’m seeing are somewhat true before I make a move.

  17. Brian

    This girl in my social studies class is always sitting by me and playing with her hair and glasses, I like her a lot but I don’t know if she likes me.

  18. Anonymous

    Thank you sir for your advice and replies.

  19. Cons

    There’s this girl in my class that I like (I’m in 7’th grade) she always stares at me but doesn’t smile we barley have conversation but she does blush around me sometimes what do I do please help

    • Anonymous

      I’m in the exact situation

  20. PHOENIX

    What if shes alwas laghing gigling or curling/playng with her hair and what if she pulls my hair p.s i am a guy and what if she says i love u or licks/bites hoer lips on a daily baises but alwas or at least just playfully and how do u tell if someone’s just blushing or has realy rosy cheeks p.s again im a thirteen year old boy but i’m still pretty mature enughf. a.k.a (teen)

  21. Luke

    Today she asked me to feel how soft her hair is at least 4 times. she always asks how She looks. we are coworkers in the food industry and she asked me to check if she had ketchup on her pants.she is always teasing me just making friendly cracks about things I say or do

  22. r bell

    A few questions:

    1) As far as teasing goes…is pretty much all teasing considered flirty, as long as it’s not mean-spirited? Example: making fun of your favorite sports team and poking at you for being quiet?

    2) How to interpret a woman staring at you, not breaking eye contact and not smiling?

    3) Same woman as the first two: so, there was a work social event for everyone in my department that she organized, and she asked me if I was going/tried to talk me into going. I didn’t go, and the next day she wouldn’t let it go that I didn’t come and kept talking about how I should have come and would have had fun. No one else reacted like this–one person said once that she thinks I would have had fun, but that was it. Everyone else went, so I was the only one who didn’t. This workplace is very big on “team” and relationship building, so…normally, I would definitely think this was a sign of interest, especially combined with some of the other signs, but it also occurs to me that she just could have been bothered that not everyone on the “team” came and that I like to do my own thing instead of acting like everyone else and trying to fit in.

    • Viktor Sander

      Interesting observations!

      1: It really depends on the context, it’s either a) flirting b) trying to be playful and have fun with you or c) bullying. It can also be some combination of those alternatives. What’s interesting with flirting is that it’s so ambiguous, it’s supposed to be hard to interpret.

      But considering signs 2 and 3, I think she might be interested in you because she’s giving you so much of her attention. Unless it feels more like bullying/trying to put you down? You should have a good grasp if she’s just mean-spirited or not. If she’s not, all of that attention she’s giving you definitely means something.

      • r bell

        Thanks, Viktor. I don’t think it’s mean-spirited or bullying. It’s more like what you wrote, i.e. I’m not sure if she’s just trying to get me to lighten up or if it’s more than that.

        How many signs do you think are enough to feel good about approaching a woman?

        • Viktor Sander

          You don’t really need any signs to go for it if you really like her. But at work, I would be a lot more careful since you don’t want to burn any bridges there. And you don’t have to “make a move”, you can just start talking more to her, maybe try to flirt a little bit to see if she likes it. If you get a positive response to the flirting, I’d consider asking her out on a date (or just a lunch/coffee so there are not so high expectations). And when she’s asking you to come to an event, you should definitely go if you’re actually interested in her.

          Best of luck!