Nicolle Lowrey

Where to find friends in a new city

Moving to a new city is exciting. Whether moving for a fantastic work opportunity or to experience the culture of a city, the thought of having new experiences is thrilling. Depending on the size of the city, there can be hundreds of new sites to visits; everything from new restaurants and coffee shops, to local tourist attractions, or museums.

However, moving to a new city can be isolating when we don’t know anyone else who lives there. It is easy to get into the trap that everyone is involved with other people and activities. As a result, we’re outsiders that no one will want to meet. Not to mention, when moving to a new area, we’re are busy setting up our new home. It is hard to find time to meet new friends when we’re busy setting up cable, trash disposal, and our electric service.

Unfortunately, the longer we wait to meet new people, the lonelier we can feel. Moreover, if you are a deep thinker or prefer low-energy social interaction, we may struggle even more.

“What if I never meet anyone? What if no one likes me? Am I boring? I can’t walk up to a stranger and convince them I’m interesting. I stumble all over my words.”

If you’re an introvert and you realize one day that “I have no friends!”,  I’ve written a guide specifically for you that you should check out here.

When we feel lonely, depression may be close at hand. Instead of isolating ourselves, it is imperative that we get out there and meet new people fast. Fortunately, there are numerous ways to meet new people without being high energy. It is not necessary to head to the bar and chat with everyone we meet. So, stop stressing over meeting new people. With these tips, we can bond fast with people in a new city without feeling the pressure to be someone we are not.

While it is important to get out of our new home or apartment and meet people, we can have better success by being strategic. Which is great as us deep thinkers love to strategize and plan. Let’s make a plan for where to find people in a new city!

Step One: Meet New People at Work

If moving to a new city was due to a fantastic job opportunity, we’re already at an advantage. It is easier to meet people that we have something in common with than to meet a stranger. Obviously, if we are working with someone, we have something in common. We see these people every day and interact with them.

One of the best ways to get to know people better at work is through extracurricular activities. If the company sponsors sporting events, team building activities, or other offsite gatherings, these are a great way to become more involved. However, if the company does not participate in these activities, asking a co-worker what people do after hours or on the weekend is a good way to break the ice. Another possibility is to invite some co-workers to show us around the sites or meet up at a local hotspot.

Step Two: Join a Gym

Another place to meet new people and bond fast is through a gym or other physical activity. Examples of physical activities include spin class, yoga, cycling, running, or a team sports club. Again, by participating in a physical activity with or around other people, we have something in common with them. People that are physically active like to talk about their fitness activities. The key is to go on a consistent basis so that we become a regular. Moreover, we need to come a few minutes early and stay late. It is hard to start a conversation while puffing during the middle of class. Instead, we should strike up a conversation before or after the activity. What can we say?

“I really worked up a sweat on that one.” “Is the trainer always this tough?” “How long have you been at this gym?” “What do you like best about this one compared to others that you’ve been to?”

Step Three: Meet Other New People

One way to avoid the feeling of being an outsider of an already established group is to find other new to town people. Meetup is a useful resource for discovering new friends. Once on their site, we need to go to the socializing category and look for, “new in town”, within our city. All these individuals are trying to do the same thing we are, meet new friends and bond fast.

Step Four: Be Friendly in Our Neighborhood

People in our neighborhood have the potential to be a resource for finding new friends. Striking up low-pressure conversations about local hangouts, places to avoid, where the best burger can be purchased, and other questions give people the opportunity to help us without feeling like a burden. Furthermore, there is the chance that one of our neighbors will jump at the chance to show us around. This could be a great place to make friends.

Step Five: Take a Community Class

People who are taking classes in the community are interested in new experiences and are open to new people and getting out of a boring routine. A good choice is a creative activity. Creative activities leave people feeling vulnerable. An example of how to meet someone in a new group is to complement or ask questions about their artwork. From there, we can begin to share some light conversations about personal interests.

“I recently attended a cooking class. Have you ever attended a cooking class?” “What other community classes have you taken? Do you recommend any others?”

As we become comfortable with our new classmate, it is easy to tell them about an upcoming event at another location and invite them to tag along.

Step Six: Give Back

Volunteering at a place that resonates with us makes social interactions simple. Volunteering at an animal shelter, hospital, church, food bank, charity event, or any other activity that we are passionate about is an appropriate choice. If we feel inspired by something, conversations are free-flowing. Not to mention, people who are giving tend to have big hearts and care about how others feel, so there is less chance of rejection. It is natural in these settings to bond fast with others that have big hearts and are outwardly focused on helping others. People are attracted to outwardly giving individuals.

Read more here: How to find friends who are more like you.

What do you think of my recommendations? Do you think they will make your transition to a new city easier? When you think back to a time you were able to bond fast with new people, were you following these steps? I look forward to hearing your comments below!

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