April 13, 2013 David Morin

How to Be More Self Confident


It’s obvious that a self-confident person acts in a self-confident way. What’s more surprising is somethings social scientists discovered a while ago.

Confidence works the other way around.

This means a person that only acts in a self-confident way actually becomes more self-confident. A simple example is that if you force yourself to smile, you will become happier in that moment. On the other hand, if you try to squeeze yourself together you will feel small inside as well.

So how can you use this to be more self-confidence? By using six well-tested techniques, you will learn to behave in a self-confident way, appear as more self-confident by others, and with time even feel more self-confident inside, even around people you just met.

Imagine you enter a room with people you never met before. It could be a night club, a workplace, a school or a mingle. Do like this:

  • Stand tall. Imagine having a thread through your body, from your feet and up. Someone is pulling the thread upwards and you are being pulled up with it. Having a good posture will do magic things to your mind. Truth is, you will feel more self-confident only by having a good posture. Stand up right now and try it. Stand tall, and pay attention to how you feel. 
  • When you move through a room, do not hesitate where you are going, and do not walk to slow. Walk with the same speed that you had when you walk around your home.
  • When you greet others, smile with a natural smile. A natural smile is when you get small wrinkles in the outer corners of your eyes. The best way is to practice in a mirror. If you smile without using your eyes, you will signal insecurity.
  • Use a LOUD VOICE when you talk to others. A scientific fact is that people who talk up are considered more attractive.
  • Use a lower pitched voice. Research shows that we subconsciously use a more high pitched voice if feel inferior to the person we talk to. Pay attention to how your voice will change when depending on who you talk to. It’s mind blowing when you notice how you change between a high pitched and low pitched voice without even noticing.
  • Keep your hand still and relaxed along with your body. Do not cover yourself with your arms, for example with your arms crossed or even with a drink in front of your belly. A person who covers up in any way signals insecurity.

The bullets above combine two psychological principles

  1. Because of how our body and brain work, when you act confident, you become confident. 
  2. When other people see you as confident, they will treat you in a way that makes you naturally confident. To make other treat you as a confident person, you have to act confident.

People will subconsciously notice all the signs above and judge others out from that.

It might sound macabre, but a person that acts insecure will automatically have a lower social value and be less interesting in talking to or hang out with.

After only a few weeks of practicing this method, you will start to feel more confident. Continue to use this method for several months, and when you look back on you current state, you will be shocked by the difference. Good luck!

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Comments (2)

  1. dave

    If it is SO wonderful and terrific, then let women do the approaching!

  2. chen77

    i want to be more confident with my self but i think it is hard to act like it in normal situations . im not sure if i can do it like you wrote but i will try it seems almost too good to be true . i read all your articles , thank you !

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In an online social skills world full of so-called gurus peddling shallow and manipulative advice, SocialPro stands apart.

David has really done his homework on this site - much of the content is derived from psychological studies, and he takes care to explain concepts in a way that makes them easy to apply. Plus, his content is ethical and scrupulously avoids shady tricks or manipulative techniques.

Dan Wendler Creator of the 260.000+ subreddit /socialskills