When It’s Fun to be Awkward And When It’s Not

As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.

First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.

Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing

Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.

It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.

Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.

Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.

That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.

Reason 2 – It felt scammy

When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.

However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.

At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.

What our readers had to say

Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.

They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.

That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. I’m my opinion, when that sentence is said I think it is a good thing and that the people feel glad and cheerful with life and friends.

    Reply
  2. I personally believe that an awesome social life consists of hanging out, doing dumb but fun things, a social circle with people you can trust and have fun with, and overall, you are able to have the best time. That is what I believe that an awesome social life is.

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  3. Being awesome in social life can be defined by many characteristics.
    1) Both participants in the conversation reveal their thoughts and feelings truthfully.
    2) We all share personal interests and anecdotes with each other
    etc.

    Reply
  4. I think being socially awesome is not necessarily being super popular but just being able to start a conversation or continuing a conversation. One of my friends was not super popular, but they became popular just for being able to connect with people. If you are not super popular but you can just start conversations, continue conversations, and connect with people it seems like you would be able to become more popular.

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  5. Awesome social life is what makes life enjoyable, worth to live and it’s absolutely the key to a happy life. The dream we all chase, isn’t it?! Like the say Happy wife happy life, well this means no social skills no LIFE.

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  6. I think for me being awkward is cute especially when I think of people I admire that have quirky traits it actually makes them likable but I think for me the bad awkward would be the person who’s trying to impress everyone so it comes off awkward and like they’re trying too hard. I used to have this problem when I first started college. I wanted everyone to like me so I tried to be everyone’s best friend and it left me feeling drained and unmotivated. Bottom line gotta take care of yourself, and prioritize making time for people you actually like not just because you want to have some arbitrary amount of “close friends”

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  7. For me it would have an actual conversation with anyone like boys and girls and speaking to them confidently and fluently and not worrying about it because I know that I am doing the right thing and getting out of my comfort zone which is scary but it is exciting as well. I would also love to talk about anything at anytime and not blanking out which is what I do a lot and I want to reduce it as possible. Depending on my mood I can always be unpredictable like I can be happy but then sad at any moment so I have a ton of mood swings as I am a very emotional person so I would like to be more better at public speaking without feeling nervous and just having a great time:)

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  8. I can’t say but I guess it’s about being able to do the things everyone else does while acting naturally.

    Speaking in a foreign language gives you a license to be awkward, I don’t like that example so much.

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    • (So as a corollary to this, if you are in a foreign country, you can use this to your advantage for positive awkwardness. No good to those in their own country though)

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  9. Awkward social life is when I can truly be myself around people who im friends with and being able to talk to anyone without feeling anxious for no reason 🙁

    Reply
  10. An awkward social life is when you’re confident enough to be your self anywhere with anyone and people like you as you are ,to talk freely without thinking of each word you what to say, to have lovely friends who love you and care about you, to be lovable and wanted more in social life.

    Reply
  11. An awkward social life is when you’re confident enough to be your self anywhere with anyone and people like you as you are ,to talk freely without thinking of each word you what to say, to have lovely friends who love you and care about you, to be lovable and wanted more in social life.

    Reply
  12. Hey david,its sooo good if you that you took this initiative and are literally making the people believe in themselves and be more confident.
    I m loving how ecstatic your mails are they are soo connecting and understandable.
    Thanks dude

    Reply
  13. An awesome social life is one where I could call up any friend and be able to go over and hangout anytime. For instance, casually, homework-sesh, wine night, walk at the park, etc. I feel like I don’t have those connections with any of my friends yet that I could feel confident enough to want to reach out like that.

    Reply
  14. I feel like for me an awesome social life would be to be able to connect easily with people I want to connect with, say new friends. To freely express myself without fear of not being liked. To be able to have interesting small talk with anyone. Lastly to be able to have deep meaningful conversations with my friends and boyfriends.

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  15. I think the perfect social life Not necessarily having a lot of friends but having friends that you can trust So it’s a certain confidence in what you are going to tell anyone Be from someone who is working in a store to someone you want to be closer to having a social life doesn’t necessarily have to be hectic like partying all weekend and stuff like that I don’t even need to talk to my friends every day but it can be something personal I think a perfect social life would be having people you can count without being family in the case so that’s it thanks for your email sorry for the long answer.
    🙂

    Reply
  16. My idea of an awesome social life is being comfortable when exchanging words with friends or colleagues, and not worrying about what they might think of me.
    I also think it’s about being yourself and not thinking you have to act out of character just to fit in..

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  17. awesome for me are that I can be myself and not being in myself. like saying did I do good, what if I offend that person.
    so for me, the awesome is that I can be in present and enjoy the social activity.

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  18. Knowing my identity isn’t wrapped up in my performance, career, hobbies, spouse, etc. was key for me… I wish I’d have looked up and listened prior to high school & college (would’ve bypassed much trauma & pain in my life) but I thank God for His patience and even Biblical guidance in these areas…
    I now know I can confidently be myself regardless of what other people think of me, because my identity is now in Christ who set me at peace and free from fear of man (what others think of me)! I’ve closer, more trustworthy, deeper relationships than ever! Especially with my husband!!!

    Reply
  19. My definition of an awesome social life is being able to talk to people without feeling like I don’t belong there.

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  20. Being free without anxiety- being moody- good social skills – the best me- and having actual people who are fun to be together with (friends)

    Reply
  21. Thanks very much David for your valuable emails,I believe that to achieve an awesome social status one must be confident and contented with oneself.

    Reply

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