20 thoughts on “How to see if someone wants to talk to you – 12 ways to tell”

  1. I’ve had this guy in my science class where in the beginning of the year he would make eye contact with and well i told his friend that i was interested in him even though I didn’t know that he was friends with him so I heard from this other person that my friend told him what I said…later on he would always look at me when I get up or he’s me..but one time I heard that my friend said I liked and I had a serious talk to him that I don’t but he informed me that the guy was telling him i liked him and to get with me due to me being “cute” but now every time we’re in the same class he looks at me.and sometimes he tries to get himself attention ..i try to not seem obvious that I’m interested but today I walked in and he was sitting next the girl I talk to in that class , when he saw me he stood up..and this classmate was talking to me , yet the guy tried to be part of it, we don’t even talk at all…the guy is my type (physically) but he’s dumb. What should I do?

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  2. hi, I met a guy who is driving transit bus recently…on the day I talked to him..he told me he always noted me and wanted to talk to me but I just rush to my seat so he was not able to..he initiated our conversation and we talked till I reached my stop he even told me he remember my stop ….he constantly smiled at me and gave me eye contact..and he told me don’t forget to take his bus the next day..for next 2 days I missed his bus ..but on 2nd day I missed his bus I saw him on the road ..he honked at me and asked me why I missed his bus and told me not to miss his bus tomorrow using hand sings,.. the next day I got in his bus and he appeared to be nervous and didn’t talk much..and when I was abt to get off the bus we had a little chat and he complimented me a lot..and since I was hosting a client meeting I told him abt it and he told me he will definitely remember it and will pray for it..he told me I can do it good and he knows I am smart..the following was a weekend ..and on monday I took his bus ,,he smiled at me and even we had a eye contact for sometime..he didn’t initiate conversation and me too neither,,when I was abut to get off the bus he told me I look good,,,I don’t know weather he likes me or is he shy..I felt sad cause he didn’t talk anything to me,,I don’t know what to do…am I overthinking something that he didn’t feel..please help..

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    • Hi Liss, yeah, you’re overthinking it. He’s romantically interested in you without a doubt. He might be a bit shy or insecure though, who knows. I think you should ask for his number if you like him. Better take the first step than sitting there waiting.

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      • Hi Viktor,
        Thank You for the reply..i think he is around 39-40 of age,and i am 29..can a guy around 40s still be shy..will it look bad if i ask for his number if he is not into me,,will i ruin his impression..i am scared to take the first move..i missed his bus all these days after monday because i didnt know what to do..does the above signs i told you enough to confirm he is into me,Pls reply

      • Yes, anyone can be shy regardless of age. It’s very common. 🙂

        If he (against all reasonable signs) isn’t into you yet, he probably never will be anyway, so there’s nothing you can ruin. It’s a big compliment to be asked for your number even if he would be in a relationship or something.

        You got this!

      • Thank you Viktor,
        Eventhough i am not confident to ask his number i will take his bus and try to talk to him,,There is something that i liked in him that i miss for the last days …i will just let him know i missed not seeing him…its k i guess..
        do you have any idea to help me ask his number..asking him directly for his number looks sooo blunt…Thank you again and hoping for your reply

  3. Okay so about almost 3 years ago I had a falling out with a friend of mine now a former friend and now there are certain people that won’t talk to me and look at me weird like they’re expecting me to do something and after 3 years it still makes me feel like an outcast will someone help me?

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    • Hi

      You sound like such a nice person. 3years forget it and forget them their the out casts not you especially for wanting to make you feel that way.
      Focus on the good things in life lifes for too short. The here and now is whats important as that’s really what we can be sure of and have some control of not the past or the future. The present is yours the past is no longer and the future may or may not come. So make the most of what you do have, dont waste any more of your presious time its simply not worth it. Seriously in the time it takes to worry about such things you could have read a nice book watched a nice movie, gone for a run baked a cake, gone on a nice date or even perhaps booked a holiday or orgaised a pamper day.. Come on lets start to concentrate on you
      Lets start to love you. Why because your more important and your worth it!!
      Remember one thing ive always been told
      Time waits for no one its too precious. Its too important..

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  4. In meeting a lot of new people I find people not interested in wanting to keep the conversation going with me. 1) I tend not to like speaking about myself. I prefer to listen to the other person speak. 2) When I do introduce myself and ask questions, their responses are short, terse, even one word maybe. There is not a lot of information for me to follow up on. Maybe I’m asking more closed-ended questions. 3) They never ask me a question. 4) Their eyes are scanning the room. 5) They make an excuse to leave me. 6) When I do get a one-on-one conversation it is short lived because a third person always butts into the conversation and steals the spotlight. The person I was talking to ignores me and converses with the new person. I’m still standing there but left out of the conversation. I have to compete to get my voice heard.

    My question is what do you do at a social gathering and you pretty much gone through trying to speak to just about everybody at the party and can’t make any connections?

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    • Hey John
      This sounds terrible. I wondered if you’re lacking in confidence which may not put the other person at ease? Or maybe it’s evident that you are trying too hard?
      I’m not sure why people would react in this way. It seems particularly rude.
      I’m not a fan of talking about myself either, I feel others are more interesting than me. I’m great at asking questions and being nice, which it sounds like you are too… maybe not fret and keep it simple. Not be overly fussed what they think of you, or know that your a great person to spend time with.
      I’m good at keeping the conversation going with thoughts and questions but I used to doubt my own opinion which probably looked like I was uneasy or unsure of myself. I found mindfulness meditation really helped me feel better mentally and also unexpectedly made me feel more confident and positive. When you feel positive good people are drawn to you. And then you’ll find someone/people who you just connect with. The questions, conversation, interest is equal and mutual and it feels really great.

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    • understood your dilemma, that other people (new people) dint respond you, as you want. This may happen due to following reasons.

      1. When we talk, the sentences we speak have different tonality and pitch, for eg ” I am not coming, to watch football”. It can be pronounced in different ways using pitch. tone and pause effect like in aggressive, commanding, blunt, dominating ( which general population tend to categories and rate in mind), the same can be said in friendly, compassionate, adjusting way.

      Here you can go through some NLP books of famous readers or join some practical seminar.

      2. A certain set of characterization / description has already been fed to the receptive audience with distinctive nature or features of you. Its better if some one introduces you before on positive node depicting your success.

      3. You can use light jokes and imaginary experience of current world news affairs, ongoing issues.

      4. Catch hold of talkative and likable member by group, you can share your talks with him before meeting. It may create a positive impact on you as well as group through him.

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  5. I sometimes have issues on dates determining if the lady is having a good time or not. Might be hard to look at her feet tho that hint is a helpful one for small talk at events. I do my best to be as engaging as possible. Your recommendations helped a lot on my last first date conversationally but alas i never heard back. I have another first date tonight! Another opportunity to put these good lessons to work!

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  6. What if someone constantly talks about themselves and when you talk about your own experiences, etc. and they make few comments and just return to talking about themselves? Do you bother pointing it out or just realize they really aren’t interested in you?

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    • I’d point it out eventually if it was a close friend whose relationship I really valued. Some (most) people are actually quite self-absorbed and it’s not really about you in those cases. They may just be a little socially inept in their own way, they forget how important it is to focus on the other person. The positive thing about it is that at least they are enjoying the conversation. But in the end, you can only change your behavior, so ask yourself if you are okay with their self-absorption or not.

      But this is such a great question, I will speak more with David about this issue and see if we can come up with an even better solution for future articles. Thanks, Dee!

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      • A former roommate (A) of mine ran into a similar situation but in a group setting, where one person (B) was dominating the conversation and each time he and another person (C) tried to speak, this person (B) would cut at every pause. My roommate (A) wanted to let this other person (C) have some speaking time because that person’s voice wasn’t being given an equal share of the conversation. My suggestion to him was every time he speaks pass on the conversation to the third person (C) who was not getting speaking time and don’t ask questions or follow up with the dominant speaker (B). This gives the quiet person the chance to speak. The dominant person doesn’t need any prodding to speak because of his nature he is going to give his opinion whether the group asks for it or not.

  7. Thanks David! I usually notice if someone doesn’t want to talk they start giving shorter answers or just doesn’t seem very interested in the subject.

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