“I find it hard to talk to people. The things that I say aren’t really things people say. How do I know if I’m awkward?”
In the quiz below, you’ll learn if you are socially awkward and get several ideas for how to stop being awkward.
Many people worry about whether they come across as socially awkward, particularly in conversations with people they don’t know well. Our mistakes feel like they are occurring under a spotlight, an effect so strong that psychologists refer to this as the Spotlight Effect[1].
It can be hard to know whether you appear awkward to others, especially if you have Aspergers or social anxiety. To help with this, in this test we are going to look at objective observations that you can use as a guide as to whether you may be socially awkward, and ways to deal with this if you are. Also, see our main article on why you might be awkward.
It’s important to remember that socially awkward behavior isn’t necessarily a personality trait.
I’ve felt socially awkward in more situations than I can count. The methods here are about learning new social skills, rather than having to change who you are.
- Part 1: Inner monologue
- Part 2: Body language
- Part 3: Conversational topics and content
- Part 4: Conversations with groups
My biggest problem with speaking to people is that I tend to use multi-syllabic words and in the correct context. I have tried to dumb down, but I soon revert to immense words. I am not trying to be arrogant, it is just the way I speak. Contemporaries do not like me using contemporary in describing those around me, but I do. I would like to say possibly like-minded people, but soon revert to contemporary.
My wife and I speak to each other in this type of lingo and also add German, Swedish, Russian, French and Dutch words/phrases as well (I speak those languages). My wife often uses French, German, Polish, Spanish and Cantonese as she speaks those languages. We do not mean to speak to others this way, but invariably we do.
I would have filled in this questionnaire, but being a sad looser with no job, no friends, no partner and no kids, I have no one to have conversations with, so most answers would have to be “Not Applicable”.
If there would given daily tasks according to our quiz and we would be reminded to do so, then it would be better I hope.
I pressed ‘submit’ but no response was displayed – just the same questions but blank.
Hello Lisa, that’s strange. Did you press yes on any of the alternatives? Do you know what web browser you use, or if you used your phone or laptop? That can help us troubleshoot.
Me too!
I was using a laptop with Firefox
I tried it with Firefox now and that worked, have you tried disabling your ad blockers?