Update: Watch this video to learn a technique to improve your self esteem and become more confident in social situations.
There will come times in your life where you will wrestle with perceptions of yourself. Whether it is from a comment or interaction with others, cultural messages or through your own thoughts, these situations can wear you down and help you to form a lesser opinion of yourself. If you struggle with this, here are some ways on to how to get self esteem.
Find the source of your negative thoughts
The first thing you must do is locate the root cause of your self doubt. This can help you get to the core of the issue and address the things that are holding you back. For example, if you are looking to create self esteem after a bad breakup, look at what caused the failed relationship and take ownership for the problems you caused. Next, forgive yourself, learn from those mistakes and move on.
Before going any further, it’s important to embrace who you are and don’t be too hard on yourself. You can accomplish this by accepting your strengths and weaknesses. This doesn’t mean that you don’t acknowledge you make mistakes and want to improve in areas of your life. Instead, you understand you have limitations, but don’t beat yourself up mentally when you make mistakes. When you have peace with who you are, it is the basis to develop self esteem.
Build from the inside
If you lack confidence it is easy to look at others for validation. This is a no-win situation because you compromise who you are to meet the perceptions of others. While your want to have others accept you is a natural feeling, it is much better that they accept a genuine you instead of one that conforms to the needs of others. This can be a very difficult thing to do if you have low self-confidence. Here is a way to breakthrough your anxieties and fears.
Accept only the truth
To increase self esteem, it’s important to look within yourself and the world around you. For example, society may define a socially successful person as someone who makes friends easily, possess a desirable body type, enjoys culturally relevant trends and makes a bunch of money. If you don’t fit this criteria, cultural messages imply there’s something wrong with you. While this is vapid bull crap at its finest, it’s easy to believe because it’s so pervasive in our culture. Many people subscribe to it, popular culture touts it and so others think it’s the standard way of living. However, by listening to these messages, questioning their meanings and rejecting them, you can boost your self esteem because you realize there isn’t anything wrong with you. Just because someone along the way thought people should act a certain way doesn’t mean your shyness or anxieties makes you a less popular or worthy person.
Build confidence by living your life your way
While accomplishments can give you a momentary high, it’s important you don’t equate individual achievement as the foundation to building your self confidence. Instead, develop peace within yourself by identifying your values and living by them. Think for yourself, do what you are passionate about and above all be respectful to yourself. The more you practice this, the more at peace you will be and your confidence will build as a result.
In closing, you should remember that this is a difficult, and long-term process. By using these tips you can build self esteem through a healthy perception of yourself and have the peace and courage to live your life by your values.