How to be comfortable with silence in conversation

I used to think that I had to talk all the time and that silence was awkward. I later learned that silence can give people space to think which helps you make more interesting conversation.

Here’s how to have comfortable silences:

1. Know that silence has a purpose in all conversations

  1. Constantly talking can make you come off as anxious.
  2. When you talk about important things, a few seconds of silence helps give better answers.
  3. When you know a person well, being together without talking can help you bond.
  4. Silence can be a sign that you feel comfortable with each other.

2. Be calm and relaxed to make silence more comfortable

Be self-confident when you talk and your friend will be comfortable with silences, too.

You don’t need to develop core confidence just to give off a confident vibe. It’s more than enough to use a calm and relaxed voice and relaxed and natural facial expression.

Here’s our guide on how to speak with confidence. read more

22 tips to be more extroverted

I’m an introvert who’ve learned to be extroverted and outgoing when I have to. Here are my best tricks:

1. Know that being extroverted isn’t better than introverted

There’s nothing wrong with being introverted. It’s when introversion keeps you from doing what you really want to do that it becomes a problem.

This guide is for you who want the ability to be more extroverted when you need it.

2. Make sure your introversion isn’t in fact shyness

Introversion is when you avoid socializing because it drains your energy. However, if you avoid socializing because it makes you nervous, the root cause could be shyness. read more

How to Speak with Confidence: 20 Quick Tricks

Here’s how to speak with confidence in day to day life and on stage.

First, we’ll talk about how to sound more confident, and then, we’ll talk about how to feel more confident when speaking.

Chapter 1: Sounding more confident when speaking

1. Avoid filler words

Practice avoiding words like “ehh”, “like” etc.

Rather be completely silent while you think of what to say next.

2. Don’t speak louder than necessary

Use a voice that’s loud enough to be heard, but not louder than that. An overly loud voice can come off as insecure and neurotic.

Pitch down your voice slightly when you do speak louder. read more

26 Ways to Make Friends

I used to struggle to make friends.

That motivated me to read many books on making friends and eventually become a behavioral scientist.

I’m happy I did, because socializing has gone from a painful struggle to something I can enjoy.

In chapter 1, I’ll talk about how to make friends more easily with people you come across in day to day life.

Chapter 2 is on how to meet more new people you can befriend. This is extra important if you want to make friends as an adult and don’t automatically meet people in school, etc. read more

10 Best Self-Esteem Books Ranked and Reviewed 2019

These are my top recommendation on how to improve your self-esteem.

As a behavioral scientist, I read a lot about self-esteem. I’ve also reviewed what people think about the books online, and compared that with my own experience. I’ve done this to create a comprehensive guide to help you choose the right self-esteem book for you.

Also, see our separate book guides specifically for self-confidence and social anxiety.

Top Picks

Top pick overall

1. The Self Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem

Author: Barbara Markway

This is my top recommendation in this guide. No questionable ideas – the entire book is based on methods that have been shown in studies to increase self-esteem. Barbara Markway is a renowned psychiatrist in the field. Even though it’s a workbook it’s not dry but encouraging and positive. read more

14 Ways to Find Like-Minded People

Here’s how to find friends who are more like you – people with similar interests and mindsets that you can connect with.

I grew up in a small town, as an introvert, which made it hard for me to find like-minded.

In this guide, I show what methods actually work to find people like you and turn them into friends. (I’ve tried all these methods myself.)

This guide works no matter your current social situation or the size of the city you live in.

1. Use these methods to figure out if someone’s like-minded

I’ve learned that you can meet like-minded friends in the most unexpected places. But I missed out on many chances because I didn’t make an effort to get to know people. read more

18 Best Self-Confidence Books Reviewed and Ranked 2019

These are the best self-confidence books, carefully reviewed and ranked.

We also have separate book guides on self-esteemsocial anxiety, and body language.

Top picks

There are 18 books in this guide. To help you choose, these are my top picks.

Top pick overall

1. The Confidence Gap: From Fear to Freedom

Author: Russ Harris

Of all the books on confidence I’ve reviewed, this is hands down the best one. Why? It has the opposite approach to traditional pep-speech books.

It’s science-based: It helps you apply ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which is well supported in hundreds of studies to make people feel significantly more self-confident. read more

10 Best Social Anxiety and Shyness Books 2019

These are the best books on social anxiety and shyness, reviewed and ranked 2019.

This is my book guide specifically for and shyness social anxiety. Also, see my book guides on social skills, self-esteemmaking conversation, making friendsself-confidence, and body language.

Top pick overall

1. Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming your Fear

Author: Martin M. Antony PhD

This is my favorite book for shyness and social anxiety. Unlike many other books on the topic I’ve read, it isn’t trivializing. It’s shows understanding of wherever your current starting point is. It won’t force you to do things that make you feel too uncomfortable. read more

How to tell if a guy likes you: 43 signs he has a crush on you

How do you know if a guy likes you?

My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve been working as a dating coach for over 8 years helping both men and women understand the signs we give when we like someone.

Here are the 43 best signs to help you tell if a guy has a crush on you or not.

1. Does he ever stare at you?

You probably know how hard it is to NOT look at someone you like. Prolonged eye contact without talking is a big tell that a guy likes you.

But to be fair, it’s common that guys stare at any girl they find attractive. And it’s an easy way for him to show his interest without having to approach you. But who knows, he might even have a secret crush on you? read more

How to talk to girls: 15 tips to catch her interest

I was one of those guys who never got any girls to like me.

Today, I’ve coached over 100 men and worked for 8 years as a dating coach. I know that no matter your current situation, it’s possible to become confident talking to girls.

Here are my best tips on how to talk to girls.

1. Best 6 things to talk about with a girl

What should you actually say when you start talking to a girl? What do girls find interesting?

Here are 6 topics that are fun and easy to start off a conversation.

  1. Movies, music, or books (What does she like? Figure out if you have anything in common.)
  2. Goals and dreams (What does she dream of doing in the future?)
  3. Family (Where are they from, does she have any siblings?)
  4. Traveling (Does she have any travel plans? What’s the coolest place she’s visited?)
  5. Work or school (What does she work with/what class does she like best?)
  6. What she likes doing in her free time

These topic are great to start off with because most girls have something to say about it. When you’ve started talking you can go deeper and develop the conversation more from there. read more