How to get 3 Close Friends in 30 Days

How to Get 3 Close Friends in 30 Days

By trying new approaches and taking the effort to connect to others, you can build great friendships quickly.

Having the right frame of mind

What this entails is you are open to meeting people even if in the back of your mind you are hesitant. Simply, you make the effort to attend social events and interact with others there. By taking this action step, it is your declaration that you want to meet others and develop friendships. Further, by pursuing this without selfish intentions, you’ll find it much easier to connect to others.

Once you are mentally ready to meet others, here is a step by step guide to helping you find and develop close friendships quickly.

Go where the people are

It’s difficult to forge genuine friendships if you spend most of your time away from people. Instead, it’s important to attend events where it gives you the opportunity to talk to others. Here are a few ways to achieve this:

  • If you are in high school or college, look for extracurricular activities such as clubs or sports teams to join.
  • At work, participate in outside activities such as joining your company’s fantasy football team.
  • If you are new to an area, use websites such as Meetup to look for clubs to join.
  • Further, look for any applicable trade or religious affiliations in your area.
  • Volunteer around the community, as it’s a great way to give back and meet others in the process.

Make small talk

By following these tips, you can find and join groups where you will meet like-minded people. This makes it much easier to connect with them, because you share similar interests. When you attend these gatherings, here are a few tips to help you make interesting small talk with others:

  • Don’t be afraid to make a simple introduction to a stranger. I know this can be incredibly nerve wracking to do, but it sends the statement to the other person that you are trying to connect to them.
  • When making the introduction, you should find a suitable conversation topic. For example, if you join your college’s intramural flag football team, ask some of the players on your team which other sports they enjoy. By doing this, you show the other person you are interested in them. This can also help you spot similar interests you two share.
  • If the conversation goes well, ask for their phone number or email address. Touch base later on telling them you had a great time talking to them and see if they would like to hang out.

Develop the connection

Once you have built a comfort level with someone new you met, it’s important to build on that connection. Here are some ways you can achieve this:

  • You should take the initiative to spend more time with that person. Even if it’s something simple such as a chat over coffee or beer, it’s a good way to build the connection with that person.
  • Once you have established a comfort level between both of you, then you can ask more in-depth questions such as “What are your goals in life?” The goal here is to show that person you are interested in their views on life and you want to strengthen the connection.
  • As part of this, don’t be afraid to open up more to them. Allow your personality to naturally shine through, as this is what attracts others to you. This may seem odd to let go like this, but trust me, it’s worth it.
  • Lastly, don’t be afraid to try new things provided it doesn’t put you or others in harm’s way or results in you spending time in prison. For example, say your new friend has always wanted to try snowboarding, why not try it? Even if you spend the majority of the time on the snow, you are still making the effort to bond with them.

Meet others through shared connections

When you develop a strong bond with someone else, they may introduce you to their circle of friends. This is a great way to meet others that may share similar interests and help you develop closer friendships with a few people. While group dynamics are a bit different, there are ways to still build bonds with others:

  • When in a group, listen for shared interests and don’t be afraid to talk about those with them. A good illustration of this is say everyone in the group raves about the latest horror film that came out recently. A good follow-up to this would be to ask everyone, “What is the best horror film?” This is a great way to insert yourself in the conversation by adding even more interest to the conversation topic.
  • When in groups, practice some of the communication skills you developed. This means don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to others. Furthermore, by exchanging contact information, it is a great way to begin building that bonding experience.

Ultimately, developing good friendships quickly is dependent upon your willingness to go where the people are and initiating conversation with them. Further, by expressing interest in them and taking time to spend with them, you can begin to bond. From there, build upon these experiences by meeting others through shared connections. By following these tips, you can develop friendships quickly.

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David Morin

I'm David Morin. I'm a social life expert. I'm featured in more than 20 self improvement and career sites and newspapers, among those Business Insider, Lifehacker and Thought Catalog. I live in Gothenburg, Sweden.